Denial
by iceprincessforever
Summary: Jenny flees the Upper East Side mysteriously, but then returns after a five year absence. Where did she go? Why did she leave? And how does Nate factor into all of this? *COMPLETE*
1. The Snowflake Ball

**A/N**: Hi. I've been an avid fan of Gossip Girl since it first aired. Hopefully this fic will do the show some justice.

With that said, on to formalities:

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – expect the plot that I'm orchestrating.

…

Jenny swallowed hard as she watched Vanessa storm out of the Snowflake ball.

How in the world had she managed to let the situation spiral out of control like this?

No scrap that. She knew exactly why she had agreed to operation: DESTROY VANESSA.

That reason could be summed up alone in two words: NATE ARCHIBALD.

The insides of her stomach began to wretch with the sickening pain of guilt.

She needed to find V and apologize. She'd probably do something rash…like grovel at her feet. Vanessa couldn't stay mad at her – she was Dan Humphrey's sister after all; that fact alone had to count for something.

Jenny took a deep breath and decided that if she didn't get a move on it soon – there would be no chance of her catching up with Vanessa tonight.

She took a deep breath and proceeded to stalk off into the direction that Vanessa had disappeared off to; only to feel a strong grasp take hold of her arm and pull her back.

She whirled around impatiently to inform her disrupter to shove off, but found herself freezing in her spot.

Majestic blue irises clashed with ocean blue.

Jenny found her legs wobbling at the sheer sight of the handsome god that stood before her.

She however was lucky that she was able to will herself from collapsing at the mere sight of his unavoidable presence.

She wasn't sure what it was about Nate Archibald that affected her so. The sound of his voice was enough to make her giddy, and a simple gesture like the stroke of his hand against hers could make her faint.

However, this meeting had impending doom written all over it. The look on Nate's face was etched with disappointment.

Jenny found herself cowering with dread.

"Jenny. Did you do that to Vanessa?"

Jenny looked at him ashamed. He obviously knew. Did he really have to ask? His face said it all.

"Yea," she stated quietly.

Nate's lips drew together in a grim line at her revelation. He closed his eyes and lightly shook his head.

"You don't understand though," she began pleadingly; god she hated that look of disappointment. His face seemed to convey the look as if his world was crashing down,"okay, she completely-"

"She what?" Nate interrupted, "she lied? She went behind your back?...so what?"

Jenny looked at him incredulously. Was he seriously justifying her actions?

"For that she deserved to be publicly humiliated?" Nate continued; dismissing her slowly subsiding astonished look.

"She's your friend Jenny?"

Jenny crossed her arms in response and chose to look anywhere but at him.

"You know," Nate began dismissively as he reached into his pocket and pulled out what could only be described as a letter, "there's no reason for me to tell you this now, but I wrote you this letter after the fashion show … telling you that I had feelings for you."

Jenny felt her eyes water and shook her head as she looked at the letter he was holding firmly in his hand, "I never got that."

"I know," he stated matter-of-factly, "Vanessa stole it."

Jenny rolled her eyes in annoyance at his statement.

"But she felt so bad about it," Nate explained, "She came and told me the _truth_."

There it was again, that creeping feeling of guilt. It washed over her again like a tidal wave, "Okay, look," she begged desperately, "I know what you must think of me right now," she looked down at the letter he held and then back up at his face, "bu-But if I had gotten tha-"

"I'm glad you didn't."

Jenny looked up at him stoically; taken aback.

"Honestly," Nate stated bitterly, "You aren't who I thought you were."

Jenny felt the tears beginning to well as Nate flashed her one last look of disdain, before walking past her; dismissively; discardingly.

Was that what she was? A mistake? Something to be cast aside.

She felt a sudden pang of pain ring out in her chest. She was too young to be having a heart attack – though given what had just happened she would have gladly chosen cardiac arrest over Nate's torturing words.

She clutched at her chest willing the pain to go away.

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

_What's this I hear? N traded Little J for a wardrobe malfunctioned V. _

_Poor Little J can't seem to catch a break. _

_First her victim/prey encounter with Chuck, then her crash-and-burn relationship with "hidden-in-a-closet" Asher. _

_And now Nate. _

_Guess the third time wasn't a charm._

_But for yours truly, it's a reminder that love makes people do crazy things – just ask little J._

_XOXO,_

_Gossip Girl._

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

…

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	2. The Funeral

**Author Note: **Thanks for all of the awesome reviews.

I'd like to take the time to thank those of you who: favorited and/or story alerted my story.

Special thanks to: browneyed brunette, JoJo.x, Sophia-Chad, KelaBelle, Amy89, Kesah Rose, bananasinpjs, and cm512 for being my first reviewers. Your kind words and feedback have been such an inspiration.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – if I did then I would probably be living comfortably in some exotic location right now.

…

It was frustrating.

Everything was frustrating and all he could do was think of _her_.

Did he make the right choice?

He didn't let himself answer. There were bigger things to deal with and his friend needed him.

He watched as the elevator door opened and revealed all of the mourners from the previous event.

He followed his two darker brunette friends hastily from the elevator as they stepped into the foyer of the luxurious room.

Classical music could be heard and the buzz of chatter was already underway.

If it wasn't for the fact that every person in the room was wearing black – he would have never guessed that they had just come from a funeral.

He eyed Chuck worriedly as Blair seemed to be lost somewhere between desperate, worried and needful.

"You don't even have to stay that long," Nate finally spoke up as he continued to follow Chuck, "just let people shake your hand, say hello...you're done."

To his displeasure and assumingly Blair's – Chuck began to remove his coat, "You don't have to convince me."

He then handed his coat to a maid; Nate met Blair's gaze, worriedly.

Blair took a deep breath, "Oh good!" she exclaimed somewhat annoyed, but still affectionate – a quality that only Blair seemed to possess, "Well, I just thought that after what happened at the church - you might not want to be here."

Nate suddenly spotted a vision of blonde hair following Eric into the kitchen. He felt his stomach churn with guilt and decided that it would be best to focus his attention on Chuck.

Chuck was his main focus…not _her._

Chuck eyed the room loathingly, "this is _exactly_ where I want to be. I have _business_ to attend to."

Nate swallowed hard – why was she haunting his thoughts! Focus on CHUCK!

Blair cowered at Chuck's statement, and fear coloured her features. But the panic etched across her face disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, "okay that's fine, but let's just find you a quiet corner and get some food in your stomach."

Nate couldn't help but let a small smile grace his lips. When had Blair become so maternal?... Oh wait!... That's right! She tended to always be that way for the people she cared about…he had just been too much of an ass to notice. He mentally scolded himself for that and promised himself to pull her away later and apologize. She may have forgiven him for his indiscretions long ago, but he needed to release his outlet of unused apologies. His guilt from screaming at _her_ was eating away at him. And he found himself fuming. How could he let _her _do this to him? When did he let _her_ facilitate this type of reaction? It was ridiculous.

"I'm not in the mood for food," Chuck answered mechanically; snapping Nate out of his internal rant.

Chuck reached for a glass of scotch and breezed away from his fellow brunette's heatedly towards the opposite side of the room, towards a staircase.

Nate and Blair watched him do so woefully.

Blair huffed in exasperation. Chasing after him would be a lost cause right now, and it would only result in unfavourable odds for her. Chuck needed to cool off. She'd approach him timidly and tactfully later.

"You're really sweet with him," Nate spoke suddenly; Blair begrudgingly turned her attention away from Chuck.

She looked at Nate incredulously and donned him a look as if he had just spit in her face, "Me?" she demanded as if she had seemingly misheard his comment.

Nate didn't waver.

"Sweet?" Blair scoffed, "no."

Nate eyed her knowingly, "No you are!...Worrying about him. Offering him food. It's downright maternal."

She narrowed her brown eyes at him appallingly, "I'm not maternal…I've just been spending _too much_ time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish!"

Nate smirked despite himself.

"Come on!" Blair instructed disdainfully, as she stormed off, "I see Koogle!"

Nate shook his head, lowered it and smiled lightly. He whipped his head up to follow Blair's slowly retreating figure, but found himself locking eyes with a familiar shade of majestic blue.

He couldn't help but feel a little fluttery in the stomach.

Nate sighed and took a deep breath.

Blair suddenly appeared at his side once more.

He turned to look at her as she watched him coyly – seemingly having watched the entire stare-down incident.

Nate flashed her a questioning look.

Blair arched an eyebrow, "Will Vanessa be making an appearance?"

"Who?" he questioned seemingly dazed.

He returned his attention back towards Jenny, but instead found her turning away.

He cursed himself for the sudden disappointment he felt as she did so.

Blair smirked, "Some things never change?"

Nate turned to look at her again, seemingly caught off guard, "Hunh?"

"Nate Archibald," she instructed knowingly, "make up your mind!"

…

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	3. 5 Years, 6 Months, And 23 Days

**Author Note: **I am so sorry! I know that it's been ages since I've updated, but life got in the way and there was nothing that I could do.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – if I did then I would probably be living comfortably in some exotic location right now.

…

_Five years, six months, and twenty-three days._

Jenny frowned as she stepped out of the limo she had been seated in for the past three hours, and glanced up at the apartment complex which towered over her. She looked up at it with dread etched across her pretty face.

Five years, six months, and twenty-three days.

It had been years since she had left this life behind.

She felt her phone vibrate in her purse, and struggled quickly to find it.

Jenny paled as she looked at the screen. After all of this time, after all of the distance and effort she had put into being forgotten – Manhattan never had. More specifically The Upper East Side never had.

Jenny flashed a meaningful look at her driver, and quickly informed him that she shouldn't be too long.

With that done, she sprinted into the building as fast as her legs would take her.

Gossip Girl had announced her return, and it would only be a matter of time before people would start to call (or even worse) look for her. She couldn't handle that right now.

The doorman yelled her name out in surprise, and Jenny nearly fainted. She quickly made a break for the elevator.

_Dear god! Even the doorman remembers me!_

She silently thanked a higher being that the elevator in which she had escaped into was empty.

Blair was going to have to make this up to her big time.

…

The doors of the elevator finally opened revealing Blair's radiant form. The brunette smiled back at her devilishly; resembling a Cheshire cat.

"She works fast, hunh?" Blair noted as she motioned to her cell phone. The alert that Gossip Girl had made moments ago illuminated the screen. Jenny groaned.

Blair couldn't help but laugh, as she pulled her out of the elevator and into the Waldorf foyer.

"Chuck owes me big time," Jenny fumed, "and so do you."

Blair simply smiled in return and led her into the living room.

"I'm not staying that long," Jenny continued as she and Blair took a seat on respective couches, "I'm just here to drop of the dress and then I'm leaving."

"Are you going to visit your father and Lily, then?" Blair asked as she arched an eyebrow in surprise.

Jenny shook her head, "No. I'll be staying at the Plaza."

"Does Dan know that you're back?" Blair persisted nonchalantly.

Jenny shook her head, "Just you and Chuck."

Blair pursed her lips in thought and nodded easily. "Well can I see it?"

Jenny laughed, "Of course! It's the reason that I'm here."

Blair smiled at her sheepishly, "I still can't believe it!"

Jenny nodded and laughed in agreement, "Neither can I!"

"In six days I will be Mrs. Blair Bass," she stated dreamily as she swooned, "Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? … Bass. Blair Bass. Mrs. Blair Cornelia Bass!"

"I get it!" Jenny mused, as she struggled with a huge silver box.

Blair made a face at her in response; one which Jenny returned.

"And voila!" Jenny announced as she pulled out the heavy dress.

Blair giggled excitedly as she took in the beautiful dress Jenny held up on display.

"It's gorgeous," she breathed in awe, "It's-it's exactly," she stammered through happy tears, "Exactly how I pictured my wedding dress to look like."

Jenny looked at her warmly, "it should. Chuck gave me one of you kindergarten designs that you created when you were like four."

"That's just like him," she replied knowingly.

Jenny opened her mouth to respond but was silenced by the sound of Blair's cell.

Blair's eyes widened as she looked at the Caller I.D. She flashed a look Jenny couldn't quite place, before answering.

"Nate," she greeted warmly, while she looked at Jenny with a pained expression.

If it weren't for the fact that she was now sitting on Blair's couch – she probably would have fainted.

"You're where?" Blair dictated in shock, "…In my elevator," she continued as she shooed Jenny.

Jenny quickly sprinted from the couch and made a run for it towards a room which was just meters from the elevator. She closed the door once she was inside.

Blair ran quickly towards the opening doors of the elevator and plastered an oblivious look onto her face.

Nate breezed out of it anxiously.

"What a surprise!" Blair greeted, "Chuck isn't here."

"I wasn't _looking _for _Chuck_," Nate replied shortly, "Where is she?"

"Where is who?" Blair asked innocently as she shot a nervous look towards the room Jenny had barricaded herself in. Thankfully Nate had been looking towards the living room, and hadn't seen her stare at the safe haven.

"You _know_ who," Nate shot back, "I know she's here. Gossip Girl announced her presence like a minute ago. She was spotted coming in here."

"She was spotted in front of my building," Blair corrected. "She's not here."

Nate flashed her an indifferent look and bolted towards the stairs.

"She's not here!" Blair warned as he disappeared upstairs.

Blair blinked and waited from the foot of the stairs for any telltale signs of his return. Once she was sure that he was preoccupied, she ran towards the room Jenny was in.

"He's gone," she whispered, as she wrapped on the door softly. Jenny opened it cautiously.

"He won't be up there long! You can make a break for it now! Hurry!"

She quickly guided Jenny towards the elevator and pushed the button.

Nate's feet could be heard stomping down the steps.

Jenny dashed into the elevator, but her action didn't go unnoticed by Nate.

"Jenny! Wait!"

But the doors closed before he could reach her.

Nate spun around angrily and glared at Blair, "I thought you said she wasn't here."

"She doesn't want to see you Nate," Blair droned.

Nate fumed, "Well it's not going to be her decision to make."

"Nate…" Blair warned.

"I'm going to find her," he informed; but it sounded more as reassurance for himself, "she can't keep running from me."

The doors to the elevator opened again, and he stepped inside, "You'll see," he stated smally as he looked at Blair.

Blair fought the urge to hug him. He sounded so broken. How had things gotten so screwed up?

Her phone rang interrupting her thoughts, just as the doors of the elevator closed.

"Hey Humphrey," Blair greeted Dan, "…Yes, she's back. She's staying at the Plaza."

…

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	4. The Memories Remain

**Author Note: **I am so sorry! I know that it's been ages since I've updated, but life got in the way and there was nothing that I could do.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

Jenny frowned, as she took a seat in front of the fire place that blazed before her.

She clutched at the small tea cup, in which she held in her hands, and sipped her tea almost mechanically.

For now she would seek refuge in The Plaza, and deny entry into her safe haven, from anyone who tried to weasel their way into her room.

She let a sigh escape her lips, as she remembered the tortured look on Nate's face when she dashed into Blair's elevator.

Taking a deep breath she willed herself to escape the memory.

But Jenny knew better than that.

Memories never faded.

They never disappeared.

Instead they followed you around – like a leech; sucking the life out of you. Well, at least the bad ones did.

She stiffened, as she caught sight of her reflection in the cup of tea she had been sipping. She touched her face timidly. Her eyebrows furrowed as she inspected the frown etched onto her face,

She had only been here a day, and she had already fallen prey to her old ways. She had spent more time frowning in the last few hours than she had the last five years.

She huffed and scrambled up from the floor.

Sooner or later she was going to have to face people. As much as she had wished that she could have run from her problems, it was slowly beginning to dawn on her that running was never the answer.

Jenny sighed. She had to face her demons.

Taking a deep breath, she headed towards her bedroom. With trembling fingers, she reached into the carry-on luggage she had brought with her.

She had promised herself that she would have mentally prepared herself on the plane. But, fear had gotten the best of her, and she had chickened out.

Jenny ruffled through the bag, apprehensively. She swallowed hard as her hands brushed against the soft velvety feel of an old photo album. She pulled the book out of the bag slowly.

Jenny looked down at the book, begrudgingly. She took a seat on her bed, and opened the book anxiously.

The faces of her father, mother, brother, as well as herself, greeted her with warm smiles. The picture had been taking years before the divorce. Jenny let a small smile grace her face.

She journeyed through the album slowly but surely; making sure to drink in all the positive pictures before she was reminded of the grimmer ones.

She paused when she finally came to a picture of Damien, and blinked. She was definitely not as prepared as she had fooled herself into believing she was.

Old wounds were exposed, and the hurt she had experienced came back to bite her.

She quickly turned the page and added salt to her wounds. A picture of Nate and herself during a happier time beamed up at her.

Tears stung her eyes.

She wasn't prepared.

She wasn't ready.

She ignored the hurt she felt in her heart, and turned the page.

A sharp pain rung out in her chest. Her breathing became shallower and she fought for breath. Sobs racked Jenny's body as the fear she'd strived to suppress surged forward.

She ran a hand tentatively across the photo: The sonogram.

Jenny closed her eyes, as she lost herself in the memories…

…

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	5. Nate Two Point Oh

**Author Note: **I am so sorry! I know that it's been ages since I've updated, but life got in the way again and there was nothing that I could do.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

_Blast to the past: SEVEN YEARS EARLIER_

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

Jenny smiled blissfully as Damien tightened his hold around her waist.

There was just something about Damien that she couldn't quite resist. His dark brown hair, his beautiful blue eyes, and his amazing smile were just a few of the countless things that made her crazy about him.

Damien pulled away suddenly and glanced at his watch. He pursed his lips in thought, and then turned to face Jenny. "You ready?" he asked after a beat.

Jenny died a little on the inside, but she plastered a fake smile onto her face to hide her insecurities from him. "Yup," she answered with a sickeningly cheerful tone. She grimaced slightly at the sound of her fake jollity.

Damien was oblivious to her anxiety. "Let's go."

…

Jenny frowned when she reached her room. She collapsed onto her bed dramatically, and let a wistful sigh escape her lips.

She liked Damien. She really did. But drug dealing was definitely not her thing.

Little Jenny Humphrey was unquestionably not a criminal. But then how had she managed to land herself into this predicament…yet again?

Jenny scowled internally at her rhetorical question. She knew exactly why and how she had gotten into this mess. The cause for her new found quandary could be summed up into one name alone.

Damien.

Jenny sighed and sat up in her bed. After a moment had passed, she reached out and plucked the picture of Damien off of her night stand.

She stared at her boyfriend's face thoughtfully; lost in thought. A slight knock at her door pulled her out of her trance.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Eric chuckled as he entered her room.

Jenny shrugged and let the picture of Damien slide out of her grasp. Eric took notice of the action, and reached towards her to pick it up.

He grinned mischievously as he caught sight of Damien's image. "Seriously Jenny? This is messed up even for you?"

Jenny paled and looked at him with wide eyes. "What?" There was no way Eric could know. Had he found out about her shady dealings?

"Oh come on," Eric continued, "Seriously J! The dude might as well be his twin?"

Jenny furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "Eric? What are you talking about?"

"You seriously don't see it?" Eric asked incredulously as he held up Damien's photo.

"Spit it out Eric!"

Eric shrugged, "He's a dead ringer for a much younger Nate."

Jenny looked up at him flabbergasted; she opened her mouth to retort his statement, but she couldn't seem to think of anything intelligent to say.

"Go ahead," Eric stated as he headed towards her door, "try and deny it all you want, but you're obviously in denial."

Jenny sputtered against her will, and fumed at her sudden lack of loquaciousness.

"Brown hair, blue eyes, pretty boy wardrobe, prominent family," Eric continued – making note of each characteristic, by checking them off the tips of his fingers.

Eric shock his head, he looked at Jenny concerned, "it's not healthy Jen."

Jenny finally found her voice, "It's not like that Eric!"

Eric nodded hopefully, "I sure hope so."

…

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**A/N:** I finally finished my other fanfic story – YAY! Therefore, this story now has my full attention. I know I stated that chapters would be posted faster last time, but this time I actually mean it. Expect quicker updates for upcoming chapters.

Again, I am so sorry for the wait.


	6. The Opposite Of Love Is Fear

**Author Note: **I stuck to my word. As promised – a new chapter; and you only had to wait one day.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

Jenny blushed and tried desperately to pry Damien's wandering arms off of her. He was without doubt asking too much from her.

_Take the hint!_ Jenny mentally screamed. Her silent plea went unnoticed; instead Damien had managed to weasel his rough hands under the fabric of her shirt.

She tried desperately to swat his inching hands from traveling up any further.

It didn't work.

She pulled away from him; feigning the need for air. Her action only seemed to egg him on, and he pressed his lips even more heatedly against hers.

She was basically trapped.

An alarmed voice rang out from somewhere in the room; Jenny wasn't sure if she was relieved or mortified. Somehow she was a mixture of both.

Lily eyed Damien warily, while a very disgruntled looking Chuck shot daggers at the perturbed teens.

"What is going on here?" Lily questioned with wide eyes.

"Nothing anymore," Damien mumbled under his breath.

Jenny swore she saw Chuck flinch at the remark. Surprisingly, the act of taking her virginity turned him into an unwanted minder. It was very meta, but the irony of it all was sickening.

"Um… I'll see you later?" Jenny rambled quickly. She shot him a meaningful look; meant to signify that she'd handle things with Lily. Damien just seemed annoyed with her abrupt farewell.

He muttered something under his breath, and exited the room hastily. Jenny frowned and turned to look at Lily and Chuck.

"Jenny-," Lily began.

Jenny held a hand up as a means to silence her, "We weren't doing anything."

Lily scoffed at her; an incredulous expression gracing her pretty face.

"We weren't going to do _that_," Jenny reasoned.

Lily grimaced, "Look. I remember what it was like to be young and in love. And trust me – boys like that, they only just want one th-"

"Lily!" Jenny silenced, "Trust me. Damien and I aren't anywhere near that-…we aren't going to…" she trailed off; her face became pink with embarrassment.

Her action caused Chuck to laugh out loud. Lily nearly jumped out of her skin; she had seemingly forgotten that he was in the room.

"Charles," she warned with a lecturing tone.

Chuck smirked, "Lily. If you don't mind can I talk to Jenny for a minute?"

Lily shrugged and flashed Jenny an indifferent look before exiting the room.

Jenny turned to face Chuck sceptically.

"Jenny I've told you once, and I'll tell you again – you can do better than Damien."

"Chuck-"

"I'm serious Jenny," Chuck continued; his frantic tone scared her, "I see the way he looks at you; it makes me sick, because I've seen that look before."

"What look?" Jenny cautioned.

"The _'I'm-the-puppet-master-and-the-world-is-my-bitch'_ look," Chuck informed. Jenny glowered at him from her spot.

Chuck sighed, "But you're obviously not going to listen to me. Your face says that much….Just promise me you'll be careful."

"Aren't I always?" Jenny shotback.

Chuck scoffed.

…

Serena giggled as Nate trailed kisses down her neck. "I wish I didn't have to go," she stated with a sigh.

Nate pulled away and smiled, "Then don't."

She made a throaty sound as she debated the option. After a moment of internal struggle she got up, "I can't. This meeting is really important."

Nate pouted, "Couldn't you just send someone to sit in…or find out what was said from someone else?"

"This isn't like missing a lecture Nate," Serena droned.

Nate groaned, "I know."

"I'll make it up to you later," she informed as she kissed him goodbye.

Angry footsteps echoing down the hall caused her to pull away from him with alarm.

Nate peered past her as she spun around to greet whoever was approaching.

The doors were flung open abruptly as Chuck entered.

Nate waved at him obliviously, while Serena greeted him with a warm smile. Chuck wasn't having any of it.

He stormed right past the confused duo, and headed towards the open bar to pour himself a drink.

"I got this," Nate informed as he met Serena's gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he answered quietly, "good luck with your meeting."

Serena nodded and turned away reluctantly. She bided Chuck farewell, but he seemed too infuriated to answer.

Nate approached him cautiously when Serena had left. He grabbed a pool cue, hoping it would distract Chuck.

When Chuck didn't respond; Nate treaded carefully, "Fight with Blair?"

Chuck finally looked up. "No," he stated with a small voice.

"Then what's wrong?" Nate pressed.

Chuck clenched his fist with disdain, "Nothing…well, other than Jenny losing her renewed virginity to a drug dealer."

Nate's eyes widened and he felt the pool cue fall from his hands.

"But hell," Chuck continued; oblivious to the look of mortification etched across Nate's face, "who am I to judge?"

…

Jenny paused and listened to the muffled voices behind the close door with curiosity.

"You came to me remember?"

Jenny arched an eyebrow in surprise. Damien? What was he still doing here?

"I didn't sign up for this!" Eric fretted. "What kind of sick game do you think you're playing?"

Jenny frowned and opened the door on the unsuspecting boys. They both froze upon her unannounced arrival; like deer's caught in the headlights.

"What's going on?" Jenny questioned when neither of the boys said a word.

Eric lips drew together in a grim line.

"Nothing babe," Damien dismissed, "I was just helping Eric with a problem."

"Oh yeah?" Jenny replied uncertainly as she eyed Eric.

Eric remained motionless in his spot.

"Yeah," Damien answered as he shot Eric a look Jenny couldn't decipher. "But we're done now. So how about we go out?"

Jenny nodded and took his hand in hers. She followed him out of the room, as they left Eric behind. She eyed Damien out of the corner of her eye. He was definitely hiding something.

…

"She did what?" Nate whispered in shock.

The tone of his voice caused Chuck to snap out of his angry stupor. Chuck furrowed his eyebrows; confused - as he eyeballed Nate.

"She claims that they haven't slept together, but it seemed like they were about to when Lily and I walked in on them earlier," Chuck revealed.

Nate looked at him agape.

Chuck shook his head, "But the look on her face…" he trailed off as he stared off into oblivion; he paused dramatically – completely lost in thought.

When he finally drifted back to reality; Nate looked completely beside himself.

Chuck took a deep breath, "Jenny seemed happy to see us…I mean, most people would be mortified to have their parent walk in on something like that, but Jenny looked…relieved."

"I'll talk to her," Nate stated suddenly, "maybe I can get through to her."

Chuck chuckled, "I don't think so."

Nate looked at him offended, "Why not?"

"Do you remember what happened the last time you decided to play big brother?" Chuck informed with a playful tone.

Nate stared at him taken aback, "Wha-how did you? When did you?" he sputtered in shock. The memory of their first hit him hard like a punch to the gut. He eyed Chuck in silent horror.

"I'm Chuck Bass," Chuck replied matter-of-factly.

…

"So you're a tech genius too?" Jenny laughed, as she eyed the contraption Damien held in his hands.

Damien flashed her one of his devious smiles, "When your father is an ambassador you get to meet all kinds of interesting people…and then those people teach you things."

Jenny arched an eyebrow, "Is that so?"

Damien smirked.

A beat of silence past between them before Jenny decided to prod carefully.

"So," Jenny began as nonchalantly as she could, "what were you and Eric really discussing earlier?"

Damien frowned, "I told you," he replied shortly, "I was helping him with something."

"Didn't sound like that," Jenny pressed, "It sounded more like you guys were arguing."

Damien didn't answer.

"Damie-"

"Just forget it!" he snapped suddenly. The tone of his voice changed drastically; it no longer held the sweet and flirty tone of earlier, but was rather replaced with a more unfriendly and threatening tone.

Damien shifted his attention away from her angrily and redirected it to whatever the so-called device was, that he held in his hands.

Jenny painted a dismissing expression onto her face; secretly hoping that her façade would convey that she had disregarded his actions.

She sat there in silence as he played with his device; praying that he wouldn't see the fear brewing in her eyes.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	7. The Truth Is A Terrible Thing

**Author Note: **As promised – a new chapter.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing other than the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

Lily awoke with a gasp. She flashed a quick look at Rufus, who lay next to her; snoring away – completely lost in slumber.

Lily carefully slid off the bed, and tiptoed out of the room. She ran a hand across her forehead; taking note of the cold sweat that had accumulated in reaction to her nightmare.

She headed to the kitchen for a much needed glass of water. It was there that she found Dan munching away a bowl of cereal.

He straightened his composure as he caught sight of Lily, and flashed her a bright smile.

"Hello Daniel," Lily greeted warmly; her voice held a tinge of concern.

Dan took note of her anxiety, "I was going through some of the books in your study, and I fell asleep. I just thought I'd crash here, since it was dark when I woke up."

Lily blinked.

Dan tensed suddenly, "If that's alright with you?" he questioned as he held both hands up in mock surrender.

Lily waved her hands dismissingly, "Of course it's alright," she informed.

Dan relaxed, but then flashed her a curious look, "Are you okay? Or are you suffering a case of the midnight munchies too?"

Lily ran her hand across her face; stressfully, "Um…actually I had a bad dream."

Dan eyed her inquisitively. Lily prepared herself; Rufus always wore the same look when he wanted to help.

"Want to talk about it?" Dan asked.

Lily bit her lip as she debated telling him her worries. She wasn't even sure if there was a problem; it was probably her mind getting carried away again.

Dan's gaze didn't waver.

"I'm probably just overreacting," Lily began carefully, "but I've been having these recurring dreams lately."

Dan nodded at her revelation, "Okay?"

"They're um…they're about Jack," she explained uneasily.

Dan's eyes widened with concern, "Is it about…the um…"

"The attack?" Lily finished.

Dan looked at her apprehensively.

Lily nodded, "Yeah."

"Did you tell my dad?" Dan questioned.

Lily shook her head, "I didn't want to worry him."

"He's your husband Lily," Dan enlightened, "you should tell him."

"I know," she stated quietly.

Dan frowned, "There's more to this, isn't there?"

Lily swallowed hard.

"Lily? What's wrong?" Dan rationalized.

She took a deep breath. Should she tell him? Of course she should tell him, he had a right to know. But what if she was overreacting? Jenny would hate her. But then again, what if her suspicions were right?

"Lily?" Dan pressed.

"The dreams started when-" Lily began but then silenced herself.

Dan watched her with worry.

She took a deep breath again, and exhaled dramatically. "I started having the nightmares when Jenny and Damien began dating again."

Dan furrowed his eyebrows at her revelation. He admitted that he was not happy about his sister's reconciliation with her 'former-drug-lord-of-a-boyfriend', but Jenny had seemed so convinced that he'd changed. Her faith in Damien had caused Dan to look the other way, but listening to Lily now…

"He has this look on his face," Lily continued, "when he looks at Jenny. It scares me to death sometimes, because…well because Jack had the same look right before he attacked me."

Dan paled.

"I could just be imaging things," Lily optioned, "maybe Damien really is a good guy, and I'm just being melodramatic."

"You don't sound too sure about that," Dan noted.

"It's just that I keep having these nightmares," Lily informed with dread, "and I can't help but feel that it's some sort of warning."

…

Jenny smiled as she eyed the Christian Dior creation. She picked the dress up and examined it; taken in the beautiful intricate patterns that were woven around the waist of the dress.

After a moment, she hung it back on the rack, with a sigh.

The familiar feeling of being watched enveloped her; causing her to gaze around the store with alarm. Within moments her blue eyes were zeroing in on Blair's brown ones.

The stylish brunette strutted over to her and practically dragged her out of the store.

Once outside, Jenny flashed her an incredulous look. Blair simply linked her arms with Jenny's and began walking down the street. Jenny obliged.

"Did I make a mistake?" Blair asked. Jenny mentally rolled her eyes. Blair's tone was unmistakable; it was the voice she always used when an infamous Waldorf lecture was coming.

Jenny didn't answer; experience taught her not to.

"As a former queen of Constance you are meant to expand your horizons," Blair continued. Jenny arched an eyebrow.

"You've had your fun, now move on," Blair warned. Jenny stopped in her tracks and eyed Blair confused.

"Dump Damien," Blair ordered.

Jenny's eyes widened in shock, "excuse me?"

"Snagging the son of an ambassador was a major accomplishment," Blair commended, "I'll give you that. I mean, you managed to snag him twice. But it's obvious who has more power in your relationship – I say get out now before you're ruined."

"Blair?" Jenny reasoned.

"Just look at what happened when Nate and I broke up," Blair continued, "I was dethroned…for a while. I mean you can't keep me down! I'm Blair Waldorf!" she added smartly.

She then paused dramatically, and shook her head; realizing that she had drifted off topic. "Just learn from my mistakes," Blair instructed, "Once you go down that rabbit hole it's hard to claw your way out."

Jenny fumed. She'd heard that statement before. "Chuck put you up to this, didn't he?"

"He most certainly did not," Blair shotback.

"Come off it Blair," Jenny argued, "Chuck's been on my case about Damien for months."

"Well Chuck's a smart man," Blair enlightened, "and great minds do think alike."

"Why are you guys against Damien?" Jenny demanded, "He's done nothing to warrant this kind of behaviour."

"Oh contraire," Blair explained, "He deals drugs Jenny."

"Blair-"

"Stay away from him Jenny," Blair reasoned; her tone was as frantic as Chuck's had been days earlier. "He'll destroy everything for you! Again! Don't you want to be happy?"

Jenny rolled her eyes, "yes."

"Then dump the drug dealer!"

Jenny seethed. "I'm going to kill Chuck when I see him."

"Again," Blair informed, "Chuck wasn't the one who sent me."

"Sure," Jenny scoffed.

"Dan did," Blair enlightened.

Jenny paled, "What?"

"He's worried about you," Blair explained.

"Since when do you and Dan talk?" Jenny asked dubiously.

"You'd be surprised at how much time Dan and I have spent together," Blair stated matter-of-factly. "Matter of fact, our little social meetings began when I banished you."

Jenny made a face.

"Which reminds," Blair drilled, "all the more reason for you to obey me. I forgave you once; don't make me go all dictator on your little rear again!"

"I don't believe this," Jenny muttered.

"What's so special about this Damien guy anyway?" Blair asked skyward.

Jenny shrugged, "He's interesting."

"You're ready to go to the gallows for _interesting_," Blair mocked.

"Of all people I thought that you would understand," Jenny replied warily.

Blair arched an eyebrow, "Why so?"

"Damien's interesting, he's charming, exciting, he's wild and dangerous" Jenny explained, "sound familiar?"

Blair folded her arms across her chest, "I get it. Trust me."

"So then why can't I have my Chuck Bass," Jenny questioned.

"Because there is only one Chuck Bass," Blair informed, "and honey – Damien, is no Chuck."

Jenny frowned, "It's an analogy Blair! You're missing my point."

"Though he does remind me of someone we know quite well," Blair piped; ignoring Jenny's statement. "However, Damien would probably be a less handsome, less suave, less charming, definitely more dangerous version of Nate."

Jenny froze.

Blair laughed at her composure, "Seriously Jenny – you've got it bad. He may sort of look like Nate Archibald, but he's definitely _not_ Nate Archibald."

Jenny remained speechless.

"I know what you're trying to do. You found a guy that looks like Nate, but personality wise – they're polar opposites. If you think things will be different this time – you're right. Nate may have broken your heart, but Damien is bound to cause much more damage if you don't break up with him _now_!"

…

Eric tensed, "You've got her dealing again?"

Damien shrugged, "Jenny cares about me. She'll do anything for me."

Eric looked at him agape.

"Oh don't give me that 'holier than thou' look," Damien spat, "You're the reason this is happening."

"I kept quiet all of these months because I thought you'd eventually slink away. Our deal fell through, remember? I originally came to you, because I wanted her to be dethroned!" Eric yelled, "I wanted her to be humiliated. I wanted her to be dethroned the way Blair was _at Constance_!"

Damien merely smirked.

Eric frowned, "our deal ended _years_ ago! Why are you back?"

"I like her," Damien sneered.

Eric could tell he was lying, "you're a monster," Eric deemed.

Damien chuckled, "_You_ practically offered Jenny to me on a silver platter. So what does that make you?"

Eric opened his mouth to respond, but then froze. Damien snorted in response to his action.

He spun around and followed Eric's gaze; mirroring Eric's actions as he caught sight of Jenny standing in the doorway.

…

"I'm on my way up," Nate informed as he held his cell phone to his ear.

"I'm going to be late," Serena replied agitatedly, "There's a lot of traffic."

"Do you want me to meet you halfway?"

"No. No," Serena responded, "Meet me upstairs, and could you ask either Eric or Jenny to give you the guest list my mother prepared?"

"Yeah, okay," Nate agreed.

…

"You used me," Jenny asked stoically.

Eric looked at her ashamed.

Damien was at a loss of words.

Jenny felt the tears well up in her eyes.

"Jenny," Damien pleaded as he took a step towards her. He reached out for her arm, but she flinched.

Damien frowned, "Jenny I can explain."

"I took you back," Jenny whispered in shock, "I forgave you…"

"Jenny-"

"Get out!" she yelled.

"It isn't what it looks like," Damien reasoned, as he tried to reach for her again. She took a step back and met Eric's gaze.

Eric answered her silent question, "I'm sorry Jenny."

Damien frowned at Eric's remark, "Jenny-"

"Get out!" Jenny screamed, "I never want to see you again."

Damien tensed, "Jenny just listen to me!" he grabbed her hand and pulled her roughly towards him.

Eric yelped, "What the hell are you doing."

"Jenny," Damien began, "You've got it all wrong."

"Let go of me," Jenny appealed, "You're hurting me."

Eric ran to her aid and pushed Damien away. His action didn't sit well with Damien; the look on his face was murderous. Without warning he lunged at Eric. Eric who was caught off guard plummeted to the floor. He tried to sit up, but wasn't fast enough. Damien was on top of him; he clenched his fist and let it collide with Eric's face.

Jenny screamed.

Damien repeated the action over and over. The sickening sound of his fist colliding with Eric's skull repeatedly; hung in the air.

The doors of the elevator suddenly opened. Jenny's heart skipped a beat, when she caught sight of Nate.

Upon exiting the elevator Nate's demeanour changed drastically as he ran to Eric's aid.

He pulled Damien off of Eric and slammed the surprised boy to the wall. "Get out!" Nate threatened, "Or I'll throw you out!"

Damien struggled against Nate's grasp. Nate flashed him a cold look before letting go of him. His intense stare didn't waver from Damien's until the doors of the elevator closed, with Damien hidden inside.

Nate turned his attention back to Eric who was still lying on the floor. His face scrunched with worry as he eyed Eric's broken nose. "We need to get you some ice."

Eric nodded and turned to look at Jenny.

Nate followed his gaze, "Jenny? Are you okay?"

Jenny met his gaze somewhat robotically.

He opened his mouth to voice more concerns, but Eric beat him to it.

"I'm sorry Jen," Eric apologized, "I didn't mean to-"

"Just-…Don't," Jenny flustered; her tone bitter, "You've helped enough."

Nate eyed her with confusion; he turned to look at Eric. The younger boy had remorse written all over his face.

The doors to the elevator opened again, and Serena waltzed in.

"Hey Jenny," she greeted warmly. "I just ran into Damien. He seemed up-" Serena's eyes widened as she caught sight of Eric and Nate on the floor.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed in shock, "Eric! What happened?"

Eric looked at the ground.

Serena and Nate shared bewildered stares. They turned to inquire information from Jenny, but she was nowhere to be found.

…

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	8. Without Darkness There Can Be No Light

**Author Note: **As promised – a new chapter.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing other than the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

Jenny wasn't sure when she had managed to doze off, but she had nonetheless.

Her pillow was still wet from the many tears she had shed; during the process of which – she had cried herself to sleep.

She looked around her room, and realized that it was still dark out.

The concerned voices of Nate, Serena, Eric, and the rest of the family had disappeared long ago.

Should she have opened her door?

No. She answered, mentally after a beat. She had needed this; time to collect her thoughts… and time to grieve.

Grieve? Is that what she was doing?

Grieving was a mourning process. How could she mourn something that was never hers to begin with? Damien was never hers. He was a lie.

Her reality had been a lie.

She was still just a toy to him. Something he had just wanted to play with until he eventually tired of it.

Jenny fumed and rolled off of her bed. She trotted over to her vanity mirror and eyed her reflection warily.

Her eyes were puffy and red. She blinked with astonishment at her reflection; she almost didn't recognize the girl staring back at her.

She stood their motionless for a few moments; unsure of what to do next.

It was then that her body tensed with dread. She felt her body stiffen in an instant. The next thing she knew, she was ransacking her room.

Where is it? Why couldn't she find it?

She paused and eyed her door, questioningly.

Everyone should be in bed by now? Or at least she prayed that everyone would be in bed right now.

She frowned. Screw it! She thought. I'll just use my laptop.

She grabbed the computer hastily, and seethed with distress when the low battery icon appeared. If memory served her correctly – she had left the much needed charger in the study.

"Perfect," she muttered sarcastically. She flinched at how hoarse her voice sounded.

She got up, and tiptoed to her door; listening carefully for any kind of movement.

When she was positive that no sign of life hid behind her doors; she flung it open in a movement that mirrored ripping off a band-aid – quick and painless.

She crept down the dark hall quietly and headed to the sitting quarters.

Upon reaching her destination – she frowned. The moonlight spilling in through the windows enabled her with enough light to see.

Where was it?

"Jenny?"

The soft voice beckoning her nearly caused her to jump out of her skin.

She spun around and narrowed her eyes at the creeper. "Nate," she yelled in a harsh whisper, "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry," he apologized quietly.

"What are you still doing here?" Jenny found herself asking as she continued searching for what she had set out to find in the first place.

"I was worried about you," he replied.

Jenny continued her erratic hunt; completely disregarding his presence.

Nate's features tensed with concern, "Are you looking for something?"

Jenny stopped her search, and exhaled dramatically. "Yes," she answered irritatedly, "I'm looking for my cell phone. Have you seen it?"

She scrutinized the emotions that played across his face. If Gossip Girl had revealed Damien's betrayal to the world then Nate would know. Anyone who had a life would know.

Nate shook his head, "Need an extra pair of hands?"

If he knew; his face didn't give it away.

Jenny flashed him a weak smile, "Do you mind?"

He grinned, "Of course not."

…

The search lasted almost an entire hour.

"This is insane?" Jenny yelled in a hushed tone; careful to not wake anyone up, "It's like it disappeared into thin air."

"I'm sure you'll find it soon," Nate brightened, "it's got to be around here somewhere."

Jenny nodded, "Yeah," she stated with a sigh.

She looked at him awkwardly; the search for her cell phone had managed to distract her from the events that had transpired earlier. It had also diverted her attention from the fact that she was sitting in the dark with Nate Archibald.

Alone.

Jenny got up quickly, "Well…um-thanks for helping me," she rambled quickly.

Nate got up; noting the dismissal. "Jenny," he began; realizing that she was in the process of practically bolting. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she brushed off with as much fake casualness that she could muster. She twitched, when she realized that her voice had betrayed her.

I'm so pathetic! She mentally noted.

Nate pulled her into a hug, "if you need anything," he offered softly, "You let me know, okay?"

Jenny pulled away and nodded.

He smiled at her weakly, and watched as she walked away – disappearing down the hall, into the darkness.

…

A/N: _Happy New Years! Here's to saluting the past and welcoming the future! _

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	9. Prince Charming Quits!

**Author Note: **

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing other than the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

"Eric! Wait! What's wrong?" Serena yelled. "Eric! … Eric?"

Nate eyed Serena with worry.

"Something's wrong?" Serena informed with panic, "We've got to go."

...

"Gossip Girl informed everyone that Eric was behind Damien's courtship of Jenny. You remember what happened to her? She took a complete nosedive into psycho bitch territory," Blair reasoned, "If it hadn't been for Eric's insistence – Damien might not have even took notice of Jenny."

"This is my brother we're talking about here Blair!" Serena fumed. "I don't care who started it! The fact is – Eric is in the hospital! He can't go back to school! He's a laughing stock! It's all over the media!"

"I agree. He's only going to get picked and beaten on again," Chuck enlightened, "Transferring him out of Parsons is the best option."

…

"Jenny!" Nate yelled. The harsh tone that clung to his voice, made her tingle with dread.

"Look, Nate I can explain," she pleaded.

"I thought you changed," he spat angrily. "Didn't you learn from your mistakes the last time?"

The memory of a humiliated Vanessa, a disappointed Serena, and an infuriated Blair came rushing back to her.

"It was different this time," Jenny muttered.

Nate took her statement to be a form of denial. "I can't believe what I'm hearing," he stated with disgust. "Eric is your friend Jenny! He's family!"

Jenny averted her gaze from him.

"You don't feel an ounce of remorse for what happened today do you?" Nate questioned.

Jenny remained silent. What was the point in arguing with him; he never took her side anyways. Knight in shining Armani my foot! Jenny thought bitterly.

"Oh shove off Nate!"

Her eyes widened; she immediately regretted the words as they left her mouth. Had she said that out loud? She hadn't meant to. She turned to look at him. The flabbergasted expression on his face said it all.

Her hands flew to her mouth in shock. "…Nate," she cautioned.

He looked at her livid; "Fine!" he spat, as he spun around on his heels ready to leave.

Jenny reached out for his arm. This was way worse than the snowflake ball. This was worse than his usual disappointed face. He looked-

No! She couldn't think it. If there was one thing that she could always rely on was that Nate was her knight. He'd always come to her rescue. But if he…

Nate flinched away from her arm, and looked at her. Pure disgust was etched across his face.

"I'm done saving you," he declared eerily calm.

Jenny felt her entire body go rigid with shock.

"I never want to speak to you again," he finished; adding salt to her wounds.

Jenny watched as he walked away from her; leaving her alone to deal with the most agonizing pain she had ever felt.

…

Rufus felt every nerve in his body course with the fiery heat of rage.

Damien simply strutted into the foyer; no trace of remorse on his face.

"Jenny left this in my car," Damien explained. Rufus was too angry to talk.

"I just thought she might like it back," Damien continued with a smirk.

The kid sure had balls, Rufus thought irately.

Damien simply shrugged, and exited the room.

…

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	10. The Monster Lies In Wait

**Author Note: **So as you can see I caught writer's fever; three chapters in one day. But, Sssshhhhh! Let's not jinx it – or scare it away. Heh. I'm a basket case – I know! Sense the tone. I begin light heartedly, because this chapter is not pretty.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing other than the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

"Damien stopped by earlier," Rufus droned.

Jenny looked up at him with alarm, "What? Why?"

He handed her, her cell phone. Jenny took it from him dubiously, "How did he-" she paused, and shook her head, "You know what. I don't want to know."

Rufus pursed his lips and eyed his daughter with concern, "So…you and Damien? You're over, right? You're not still with him?"

Jenny tensed and eyed him with surprise, "What? Of course I'm not with him? Why would you-"

"I got the impression that he doesn't think that you two are over," Rufus interrupted. "He seemed much too smug when he was here earlier – like he knew something I didn't."

"You're just being paranoid," Jenny dismissed lightly, "We are over. Finished…"

He looked at her, as she trailed off.

"…done," Jenny stated with a broken voice.

_"I'm done saving you!"_

_"I never want to speak to you again!"_

"Jenny?" Rufus questioned with concern.

Jenny snapped back to reality, "…oh! Um…Sorry dad."

"You know what," he began, "I think I'm going to cancel the reservations Lily and I made for Aspen. I mean with Eric in the hospital, and with you- well…upset."

"I'm not upset," Jenny lied, "I'm fine."

Rufus eyed her doubtfully.

"Really Dad. I'm fine," Jenny insisted. "Go!"

…

"I don't blame her," Eric argued, "I had it coming."

Serena frowned, "You don't deserve to be a punching bag."

"S," Eric reasoned.

"No," Serena silenced.

Eric sighed and eyed the clock on the wall, "I thought you and Nate had dinner plans?"

"And he'll understand if I cancel," she informed.

"What?...No," Eric shooed, "Go! ...You're starting to annoy me."

"Well excuse me for caring," Serena commented with a playful tone.

"Serena," Eric pleaded, "really, go. I'll probably spend most of my time sleeping."

"You're just a pile of excuses today aren't you?" Serena droned.

"Go!"

"Okay. Okay," Serena laughed, as she got up, "I'm leaving. I'll check on you tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll be here," Eric bided.

…

"The minions hired thugs?" Blair questioned incredulously; from the other end of her cell phone, "a tad harsh, don't you think?"

"You trained them well," Jenny informed from the other line, "a little too well!"

"I had no idea how _loyal_ the second coming of 'mean girls' were?" Blair noted with surprise, "I'll have a little talk with them. They can't just take matters into their own hands like that. They should have consulted with you first. I knew there was no way that you would ever hurt Eric like that. Humiliation? Maybe. But physical violence?... "

"It's my mess," Jenny piped, "I'll clean it up."

"If you say so. But I would definitely as-"

Jenny's brows furrowed with confusion, "Blair? Hello? Blair!"

She frowned and looked at her cell phone.

She grimaced and speed dialled Blair.

"_We're sorry; your call can not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again."_

Jenny tensed, "What the-"

The lights in her apartment went out suddenly.

Jenny jumped from her spot on the couch. She walked over to a nearby window and glanced outside; expecting a citywide blackout.

To her surprise the rest of the city shone with uninterrupted brilliance.

…

"You okay?" Serena questioned as she eyed Nate. "You've barely touched your food."

Nate met her gaze; the expression of his face scared her. He seemed to look right through her.

"Nate?" she cautioned, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied evasively, "I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom."

…

"She's not answering," Blair informed, "…strangest thing to. I was mid-sentence, and she just hung up on me."

"It's been a stressful day for everyone," Chuck replied, as he rummaged through his briefcase. "…Are you going to call S and let her know that Jenny had nothing to do with Eric's situation."

Blair nodded, "I'll call her later," she informed as she sauntered over towards him, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Chuck sighed, "Hmmm. Can you stay like this till I get back?"

Blair straightened on her spot and eyed him incredulously, "When you get back?"

"I've misplaced important clientele files. I need to find them," he explained.

"Can't you find them tomorrow?" Blair suggested; hopefully.

"Nope. I need it in the morning," he replied.

Blair pulled away and pouted, "Hurry back."

"I always do."

…

"What is going on?" Jenny muttered as she fumbled within the darkness of the apartment.

"Where are the goddamn flashlights?" she fretted as she crashed into a nearby couch.

No power meant that she was trapped. Jenny sighed and decided to take advantage of her alone time. She shuffled around the apartment awkwardly in search of a couch.

She grabbed her cell phone and used the light emitting from the screen as a much needed flashlight.

It wasn't much, but it worked.

She jumped slightly when she felt something graze her waist. She spun around in the darkness frantically.

Nothing was there. She laughed at her needless fear. She was obviously hallucinating now.

She grinned and reached out for the couch; latching onto whatever her hand would grasp.

Her hand collided with void space for a few odd moments. Needless to say she was grateful, when she finally grabbed something solid.

The gratification didn't last long. She maneuvered her cell phone, and aimed it at the object.

The feeling of the object in question felt out of place.

Strangely, the word 'threatening' came to mind.

Jenny stiffened as the object came into sight.

It was an arm.

The light of her cell phone finally enabled her a clear view of the object.

Jenny screamed as she caught sight of Damien's sinister face – smiling back at her.

…

She heard herself scream. It was like having an out of body experience; the kind you usually had when you saw your entire life flash before your eyes.

What did people usually call those?

A near death experience.

Death.

Jenny didn't want to die. She was too young for that. Damien's intentions seemed to want just that. He was going to be the death of her.

She thought quickly, and kicked him with as much force that she could muster. He fell to the floor like a bag of bricks.

She took the opportune moment to run. She felt herself crash into things during the process, but she didn't dare slow down. She knew her life depended on it.

She ran right into a wall; god willingly she didn't pass out.

Footsteps thundering off in the distance warned her that Damien had gotten up, and if that were the case – he was probably mad as hell.

Jenny fumbled against the wall, until she found an opening. A doorway! She scrambled to get inside.

Somehow she had managed to find herself in a closet. She collapsed onto the floor, and pulled the door closed. What the hell was she going to do?

She looked down at her hands and realized that she was still clutching her cell phone.

She felt relief wash over, as she dialled 911.

The joy was short lived.

"_We're sorry; your call can not be completed as dialled. Please hang up and try again."_

"What the hell," Jenny cursed. This couldn't be happening.

She called Rufus.

"_We're sorry; your call can not be completed as dialled. Please hang up and try again."_

She tried Dan.

"_We're sorry; your call can not be completed as dialled. Please hang up and try again."_

She wanted to scream in frustration, but she was positive that if she as much as made a peep - Damien would find her for sure.

She ran a hand through her blonde locks frantically.

She tensed suddenly, as recollection hit her.

_"So you're a tech genius too?"_

_"When your father is an ambassador you get to meet all kinds of interesting people…and then those people teach you things."_

_"Is that so?"_

Jenny glowered; had he planned all of this? She eyed her cell phone resentfully.

_"Damien stopped by earlier."_

She felt the tears well up in her eyes. That sick son of a bitch!

She eyed her cell phone defeatingly.

Hope began to slip away from her slowly; it was then that a thought came to her.

She grabbed her cell phone.

…

Nate eyed his reflection warily.

He let the water from the tap, which stood before him run. He grabbed a handful of water and splashed it onto his face.

A movement in his pocket caused him to flinch. He soon realized that it was his phone.

He frowned as he eyed the screen, "What do you want? I thought I told you-"

"Nate! Nate! Help!"

He tensed. His heart immediately went out to her. The sudden rush of emotion made him feel ill. Blair was right, he needed to get his priority's sorted out.

"Nate!" Jenny begged in tears.

He ignored his heart, "I told you Jenny! I'm done with your crap!"

"Nate you don't understand!" Jenny pleaded, "He's going to-"

"Did I not make myself clear last time?" Nate lectured, "I'm done saving you!"

"Nate! Please!"

"Call Dan," Nate spat bitterly, "I told you. I'm done."

With that said he hung up. He eyed his phone resentfully, and then picked it back up; refusing the urge to call her back – and assure her he was on his way.

"You're with Serena," he instructed himself. "She's what you've always wanted."

He took a deep breath and nodded with conviction, "You love Serena."

He frowned as he inspected his image in the mirror. Then why do I feel like I'm lying to myself?

…

Jenny looked at the phone; astonished. He hung up. He never hung up.

She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. Avoiding her better judgment, she called him again.

She felt the walls crash down around her, when she heard his voicemail.

She ended the call. What good would it do to leave a message? He didn't care? He was done with her; he had said so himself.

This was it.

She didn't even feel like fighting anymore.

She didn't even scream.

When the doors to the closet flew open – she just sat there motionless.

She just let Damien have her.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	11. Truth Doesn't Make a Noise

**Author Note: **

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** What's mine is mine; the rest is Josh Schwartz and Cecily von Ziegesar's property.

…

Blair opened the door and peered inside the hospital room.

She smiled at Eric and stepped inside. "Where's S?"

"Having Dinner with Nate," he answered easily. He struggled to sit up right. "Is everything okay?" he asked, when he had managed the impossible.

Blair nodded, "I was just looking for a way to kill some time. I actually had something to tell her, but you'll do. This concerns you as well."

Eric eyed her questioningly.

"Jenny didn't sic those goons on you," Blair explained, "the minions did. It still boggles me how loyal they've become. Lord knows I could use that kind of support."

Eric frowned, "I knew she wasn't capable of something like that. Humiliate me? Sure. I deserve it…" he paused, as he trailed off in thought. "Come to think of it - I deserved this as well," he admitted as he motioned at his condition. He flinched in pain during the process.

Blair shook her head, "Eric what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I wanted my friend back," he replied. "Jenny wasn't the same person when she became queen." After a beat, he asked, "Why did you do _that_ to her? How could you appoint her queen? She changed! And why you never saw it until it was too late is beyond me…"

"Eric, you wouldn't understand," Blair droned.

"I know Jenny better than you do," he shotback.

Blair laughed at him incredulously, "It's not about knowing Jenny. Being Queen changes you…"

He furrowed his eyebrows at her with displeasure.

"Eric," Blair began, "I chose Jenny, because I knew she could sustain my legacy. She has a certain quality about her; she's a fighter."

"Then why be Queen? If it takes so much away from you, is it worth it?" he questioned.

"Yes," Blair answered with conviction. "Eric, being Queen may make you a target. It may make you vulnerable, but it gives your life purpose. Once you've become queen – you can never go back. To have a taste of it, and then have it snatched away from you might as well be hell, because it feels like hell. Trust me – I know."

"But the world outside of high school doesn't care if you were Queen?" Eric pointed out.

"Eric," Blair reminded, "We live in The Upper East Side. The only people who survive in our world are the fierce. And being Queen meant creating rules and controlling the game. Because, let's face it Eric - life is a game! People in our world, root to see you fall."

…

"Seriously I thought that he was going to-" Vanessa cut herself off mid-sentence, and pointed at the luxurious building on the other side of the street. "Hey Dan?"

Dan was already staring at the chaos unfolding in front of them, "Why are the police here?"

An ambulance wailed in the distance; its siren grew louder as it approached. It came to an abrupt stop in front of the building. Dan covered his ears to subdue the sound.

"I'm sure everyone's okay?" Vanessa comforted, as she took note of his tensed stance.

"Let's go check it out?" he stated, but he was already in full sprint towards the building. Vanessa struggled to keep up.

The duo carefully made their way through the vastly growing crowd.

…

"Hey," Serena greeted happily as Blair waltzed through the revolving doors of the restaurant.

"Hi," Blair addressed as she strutted over to Serena and Nate. "Eric said that I could find you here."

"You were looking for me?" the bubbly blonde questioned.

"Yes," Blair replied easily, "Chuck practically abandoned me this evening so I was trying to find a way to kill some time."

"And you thought of me," Serena joked, "Since I obviously have nothing better to do on a Friday night."

Blair smirked, "Obviously."

"So where is Chuck?" Nate questioned.

"In search of some missing files?" Blair dismissed with a wave of her hand. She frowned, "he's got some major groveling to do – the liar! He claimed he would only be gone for an hour."

Nate smiled.

"Oh!" Blair stated with sudden recollection, "I almost forgot!"

Serena grinned and eyed Blair curiously.

"I spoke to the minions earlier," Blair rambled, "and it turns out that they were responsible for Eric's attack, not Jenny. I can't believe that they're so protective of her," Blair continued; oblivious to sudden change of expressions on Serena and Nate's faces. "I mean I sure could have used that kind of backup when I was at NYU!"

…

"What happened?"

Dan perked up and spun around when he realized that Vanessa had asked the question. He let his eyes rake through the crowd, before he finally spotted her. She was busy probing an officer for information. Dan slowly made his way towards her.

"A young female was brutally attacked," the officer divulged.

Vanessa gasped; her hands immediately went to her mouth. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Who was it?" Dan found himself asking; he knew he wouldn't receive an answer.

"I'm sorry sir, but we're not at liberty to reveal that kind of information to the public," the officer dismissed, courteously. "Excuse me."

Vanessa nodded stoically, "Of course."

They watched as he walked away.

Dan stiffened as paramedics began to wheel the young girl in question out of the complex.

A flash of light blonde hair on the stretcher made him cower with dread. His body was moving without instruction; as he sprinted towards the young girl.

He heard Vanessa sob behind him; the sound seemed alien to him.

The voices that surrounded him didn't reach him; he was unable to process what was happening around him. He wasn't sure of what to make of things. His stomach churned at the sheer sight of the broken girl lying on the stretcher.

Dan let a strangled sob escape his lips, as he rushed towards his little sister.

…

"Wait?" Serena stated in shock, "Jenny didn't-"

Blair's phone rang suddenly; silencing Serena in the process. The brunette eyed her phone speculatively, but then rolled her eyes. "It's Chuck," she informed.

Nate flinched with annoyance. What did she mean, by Jenny wasn't responsible? His stomach burned with guilt. Had he jumped to conclusions? No wonder she was so upset when he had confronted her?

His internal battle was cut short when he detected the panic etched into Blair's voice.

"Arrested?" Blair hollered, "For what?..."

There was a brief pause. Serena and Nate watched her anxiously.

"Attempted manslaughter?" Blair hollered; incredulously. "How did-…Fine, I'll meet you there."

She hung up. Tension hung in the air like thick fog.

"Blair?" Serena questioned after a beat, "What's wrong?"

"Chuck's in jail," Blair replied in shock.

Nate's eyes widened; stunned. "What! Why?"

"I've got to go," Blair bided. She sprinted from the lobby.

"Blair! Wait!" Serena yelled, "Blair?"

To her dismay; her friend had already disappeared into the still of the night.

…

He felt like he was drowning as he watched the paramedics haul Jenny into the ambulance.

"What happened?" he cried. "Is she alright?"

"I'm sorry sir," a paramedic began, "but I can't giv-"

"I'm her brother!" Dan sobbed, "What happened to her?"

Vanessa stiffened next to Dan, and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. She pointed towards the front doors of the building.

Dan fumed when he caught sight of two officers exiting the building. Chuck Bass was being escorted off the premises in handcuffs.

Chuck's eyes widened when he caught sight of Dan.

"Dan," Chuck began, "I know wha-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Dan charged at him, like a man possessed.

"You sick son of a bitch!" he screamed.

Chuck toppled over to the ground; Dan had punched him square in the face.

The surprised officers struggled to calm the distressed boy down.

Dan's face; contorted with grief and rage, was the last thing Chuck saw before he was hurled into the backseat of the police car.

…

Serena huffed. She spun around to face Nate. "I wonder what happened."

Nate didn't answer; he was a million miles away.

Serena frowned, "Nate!"

Her cell phone did what she couldn't. The text message alert beckoned Nate out of his trance like a siren song.

Serena's eyes widened as she eyed the screen. Her face went pale instantly.

"What's wrong?" Nate asked.

"Gossip Girl," Serena whispered almost inaudibly.

Nate took the phone from her lifeless hands. He rested a hand on her back as he did so; she looked as though she were about to faint.

He stole a curious glance at the screen, to see what had gotten Serena so spooked.

He immediately regretted the action; for the consequence was the equivalent of being punched in the gut.

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

_Hello, Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here with the latest scandal._

_This little tidbit definitely packs a punch!_

_William Grimes said it best, "A cocktail is to a glass of wine as rape is to love."_

_Therefore, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again._

_Looks like old habits never die._

_Poor Little J never stood a chance against Chuck Bass._

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	12. The Unexpected Prince

**Author Note: **

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** What's mine is mine; the rest is Josh Schwartz and Cecily von Ziegesar's property.

…

"This is insane!" Blair fretted angrily. The surrounding officers eyed the petite brunette warily.

Chuck rested a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Shut up, Blair!" he warned carefully, "You'll only make things worse."

"He didn't do anything," Blair spat, as she ignored Chuck's warning.

Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

…

Nate tightened his grip around Serena's phone. He could hear her sputter words of disbelief and shock, but his mind couldn't comprehend a word of it.

He collapsed onto a nearby chair, stoically.

Serena was immediately at his side, "Chuck couldn't have done this."

Her words went right over his head. Nate looked up at her; his expression blank, "She called me and I hung up."

Serena's eyes raked over his face, "What?"

"She wanted me to save her," Nate whispered; the tone of his voice was heartbreaking. "I hung up on her? ... I hung up on her. … I hung up on her."

He repeated the words over and over again, an unending litany of denial. The words grew more frantic with each passing breath.

Serena wrapped her arms around him in an attempt to console him. She had never seen him act like this before; it scared her to death. Nate had always been the most grounded person she knew. He was always in control of his emotions. Sure he had suffered his occasional bouts with his temper, but to cry?

She felt his body shake with grief; the sound of his shallow breath made her numb.

"She'll be okay," Serena whispered; praying with all of her might that that would in fact be the case. She rubbed his back, soothingly. "She'll be okay."

…

Dan stole a glance at the electrocardiogram. The action of doing so stole a year off of his life. The fear of seeing it flatten into one straight, distinct line made him cower with terror.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. The image of her lying on the stretcher when he had first seen her was forever burnt into his mind.

Dan took a shaky breath; nothing could possibly be worse than what he had stumbled upon earlier. If anything, she should look better than the state in which she was brought in.

He finally mustered the courage to look at her.

His heart sank.

She lay their lifeless, like a statue. Medical equipment surrounded her; while numerous tubes ran like vines across her limp form.

The door to the room he was seated in opened. Vanessa poked her head in cautiously, before stepping inside. "I'm still trying to get a hold of your mother, but I just got off the phone with Rufus," she explained.

Dan buried his face in his hands at her comment. His father was probably going out of his mind.

"The earliest they can get here is by tomorrow morning," Vanessa informed grimly.

Dan nodded; his face still buried in his hands.

"She'll be okay, Dan," Vanessa comforted lightly.

Dan let his hands fall from his face. "No, she won't," he replied, his face contorted into something unexplainable. "She'll never be okay."

…

"You're free to go," a burly officer informed as he stepped into the room Blair and Chuck were seated in. The officer was followed by one of the many Bass attorneys'.

Blair got up and shot Chuck a demanding look, "When we get in the limo, you are going to explain everything to me."

Chuck nodded, "Fine. But, we're not going back to the penthouse."

Blair furrowed her eyebrows at him.

"We're stopping by the hospital," Chuck explained.

…

"Jenny," Vanessa choked. She had done her best to keep up a brave front, but now that Dan was out of the room – she couldn't keep the façade up anymore.

"Jenny, please!" Vanessa begged, "You've-You've got to open your eyes."

She didn't expect to receive a response from Jenny. Heck, she wouldn't blame Jenny for ignoring her plea. But to say she wasn't praying for a miracle was a lie. It was sad how far apart they had drifted, but ever since she returned from Spain, she had managed to bridge the gap between them somewhat. She hated to admit it, but she knew that she had been partly responsible for Jenny's fall from grace year earlier.

Vanessa let her eyes skim across Jenny's pale face. The young girl's complexion rivalled the sickeningly white walls of the hospital. Vanessa tore her eyes away from Jenny's face and fixated her gaze on the bed. The bed sheets were also white. Curse this place! she thought, with distress.

…

His heart felt heavy. Every step he took felt like he was walking in cement.

Vanessa had managed to convince him to get some air. He wasn't sure why he had agreed. Watching Jenny's lifeless body felt like being smothered with a pillow.

He found himself gasping for air as he stepped out of the hospital room. Had he been holding his breath? It sure felt like it.

He leaned against a wall, he was seeing dots. His vision blurred, and he slowly slipped to the floor. How could this have happened? His sister didn't deserve this.

He buried his head in his knees; unsure of how long he had stayed there. It wasn't until he felt arms coil around him; that he finally looked up. Serena and Nate looked down at him with concern.

No one said a word; Dan found the silence deafening.

Serena helped him back up to his feet.

"Vanessa's with her right now," Dan informed with a shaky breath. "You can go see her if you want. The doctors have graciously allowed more v-"

Nate's stiffened as Dan silenced himself.

Serena followed Dan's gaze cautiously, only to find herself in the middle of a stare down between Dan and Chuck.

…

Chuck took a brave step towards Dan. The action soon turned into many steps; he watched Dan cautiously as he inspected the emotions that played across Dan's face.

Blair followed Chuck, vigilantly.

Dan's fists immediately clenched at his sides; his body went rigid.

Nate quickly ran in front of him, "I doubt that having you both thrown out of the hospital will make matters better. Jenny needs you Dan, so don't lose your cool."

Dan frowned. He hated to admit it, but Nate was right. Beating Chuck to a bloody pulp wasn't going to help Jenny. Sure he'd suffer a moment of gratification at Chuck's expense, but at what cost? Nate was right. Jenny needed him. If he started a fight, he was bound to be thrown out by security.

"What are you doing here?" Dan questioned through clenched teeth.

"I came to finish the job," Chuck stated bitterly. Blair squeaked with surprise.

Dan lost his cool. Nate grabbed onto him and pulled him away.

"Chuck! What the hell!" Serena fumed.

"Damien was brought in here," Chuck explained, "and I'm going to kill him."

"You said you'd come here to explain yourself," Blair reasoned. She hated when Chuck went on a rampage; there was no way anyone could reason with him; that was until his ill emotions were out of his system.

Nate balled his hands into fists. He began to tremble. Damien! he thought; as clarity came to him, Of course! His face slackened, while his fists shook harder. His stance looked threatening. "What room?" Nate seethed.

Serena and Blair yelped.

"Nate have you lost your mind?" Blair yelled, "What happened about being there for Jenny."

"If that little-" Nate began angrily.

"Not if," Chuck interrupted, lividly, "he did."

Dan exhaled in frustration, "Explain yourself Bass."

"I went back to the house to pick up some business files," Chuck explained. "Only when I got there, the elevator stalled. It was weird. Every other floor worked except for ours."

Dan furrowed his eyebrows at him as he listened, "So I went to the doorman, and told him what was going on. He was just as confused as I was."

"Get to the part about Damien, Chuck," Serena droned.

"I'm getting there," he informed. "Anyways. There are these keys that are being manufactured in Japan; they aren't available in the US yet, but because of my connections…" he trailed off, as he pulled the said key from his pocket.

Dan frowned, "I'm not following?"

"These keys interfere with the perception of high spatial frequencies," Chuck explained, "their use is basically to keep unwanted visitors out. The only way to override the initial action is to use another one of these keys."

"So…"

"I used this," Chuck explained as he motioned to the key, and I was able to activate our floors. Only the rich have access to these, and not many people know about them."

The group eyed him anxiously.

"That's how I realized something was wrong," Chuck continued, "So I called the cops before I headed up,"

Chuck frowned, "I got up to the foyer," he stated with a sullen tone, "and-"

Dan didn't like the way Chuck silenced himself. He prepared himself. It was bad. He knew it. Nothing ever spooked Chuck Bass.

"Chuck?" Nate whispered despite himself.

Chuck swallowed hard. "I got up there and he was…he was on her."

Dan paled.

Serena shook her head; stifling a sob.

"He was- he was," Chuck continued; sputtering in the process, "…I lost it!" he declared after a moment, "The little perv didn't know what hit him."

"So when you were being hauled off in handcuffs earlier," Dan rationalized, "it was because you attacked Damien?"

"He was booked for manslaughter," Blair revealed.

"I swear I would have killed him Humphrey, if it weren't for those cops arriving when they did…" Chuck established, with disdain.

Dan began to hyperventilate, "Which room?"

Chuck met his gaze, they shared rabid stares; "My people have yet to get back to me about that."

"Stop it," Blair begged, "Both of you!"

"I say we raid every room in the meantime," Nate offered, "How bad did you rough him up?"

"He should be in the intensive care unit," Chuck theorized.

"Well that narrows things," Nate noted.

Serena grabbed his hand, "You are not going anywhere! None of you are! I highly doubt having Jenny wake up to find all three of you in prison will cheer her up!"

"Intensive care unit?" Dan repeated; ignoring Serena. "Is that just talk or fact?"

"Fact," Chuck replied; "I threw him into the fireplace while it was lit. He's got to have second degree burns at the least."

"Wait?" Serena questioned, "How are you here? Damien's father is bound to be out for blood?"

"Damien's got quite the case against him," Chuck informed, "I got off on self-defence."

…

"We examined Jenny. There was no trace of semen or signs of forced ingress," the doctor informed Dan. "She's very lucky that your friend arrived when he did."

Dan nodded and flashed the doctor a weak smile. Friend? Is that what Chuck was? He certainly owed him his gratitude for saving Jenny, when he did. If it weren't for him his sister's renewed innocence would have been stolen by Damien. That fact was an incongruous commentary in and of itself.

"However," the doctor continued, "I can't determine Jenny's emotional wellbeing until she wakes up. She did suffer quite a traumatic experience, as most victims of abuse do."

…

Dan made his way back towards Jenny's room. He found Chuck standing alone, in front of the door.

Dan eyed him expectantly as he approached.

"I can't bring myself to see her," Chuck admitted. "It's hard to see her like that."

Dan sighed and nodded. "Um…" he began while scratching the back of his neck tentatively, "I-um…Sorry."

Chuck arched an eyebrow confused.

"Sorry about punching you earlier," Dan explained, nervously.

"Oh," Chuck breathed, "um-yeah. It's okay," he dismissed. "Can't say I blame you. Hell if I were in your position, I'd have punched me."

…

Nate watched as Vanessa coiled herself into a ball; upon the chair in which she sat. She buried her face into her knees; peering up occasionally to shoot cautious glances at Jenny.

Though he had been seated in her room for more than twenty minutes; he hadn't looked at Jenny once. He couldn't bring himself to. Guilt washed over him, and he bolted from the room in search of the nearest restroom. God willingly, it was empty.

He grabbed onto each side of a nearby sink; before he finally looked up at the mirror which hung before him.

He couldn't even look at himself anymore. He had let her down. And that fact made him sick to his stomach.

It took him a while to realize that he was shaking. He turned on the hot water from the tap, and let it smolder his hands. In a quick movement, he splashed the warm water onto his face, in an attempt to calm himself.

He took a deep breath.

He had to see her. He couldn't keep avoiding it. He needed to face her; even if by doing so destroyed him.

…

Nate rubbed the side of his temples as he approached Dan and Chuck in the hallway.

"Some men we are," Chuck commented as he caught sight of Nate, "All the girls are in there, and we're hiding out here."

Nate blinked, unsure of how to respond.

Dan simply exhaled heavily in response, and opened the door to Jenny's room. He paused slightly at the doorway, "What's wrong?"

Chuck and Nate flinched at his words and peered over his shoulders.

Vanessa shook her head, "I don't know. I think she's waking up."

The boys quickly scampered into the room; joining Serena, Blair and Vanessa around Jenny's bedside.

Saying that her face was pale was an understatement. Her complexion rivalled a ghost. Nate winced at the image.

She looked like a defeated rag doll. Battered, cut and bruised. Damien had sure done a number on her.

Hot angry tears bubbled, but Nate didn't dare let them fall. He gripped on to the handlebars of her bed.

Jenny stirred lightly; a glint of hope erupted in his heart.

In a movement that surprised everyone, her head suddenly swung from side to side in a violent spasm.

Her voice came out as inaudible whimpers.

Vanessa went rigid, "I'll go get a doctor."

The whimpers soon turned to screams.

"Stop!" she screamed; the group inched away from the bed, as she began to thrash. "Get off of me!"

Dan was immediately at her side. He patted her hair, trying to comfort her. "Jenny," he pleaded, "its Dan."

"What's wrong with her," Blair cried. Chuck put a protective arm around her, speechlessly.

"Get off of me!" she continued to scream.

Serena bolted from the room in tears.

"Somebody help me!" Her screams ripped through their ears; the look of pure agony on her face made Chuck turn away in horror.

Jenny was obviously reliving her nightmare.

Nate paled. If he didn't know any better he would have thought that his heart had stopped beating. Jenny's desperate screams shattered the last of his defences.

"Get off!"

Her screams rung in his ears, so loudly he thought his brain was going to explode.

"Somebody help me!"

Nate's eyes grew vacant, he would never forgive himself.

"Somebody help me!"

And he was positive Jenny wouldn't either.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**

Clarification: For those of you who didn't catch it. Damien didn't rape Jenny. He was in the process of doing so, but Chuck saved her.


	13. The Non Judging Breakfast Club

**Author Note: **I am so sorry! I know that it's been ages since I've updated, but life got in the way again and there was nothing that I could do.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

The term: Emotionally Exhaling does not belong to me. It is taken from Sylvia Browne's Book of Dreams.

…

"We've sedated her," the doctor of earlier; informed.

"I don't understand," Dan stated anxiously. "Was that normal? She looked possessed!"

"She suffered a great deal of trauma," the older man replied gravely. "This kind of behavior is usually associated with a great deal of shock. Victims in these situations deal with their pain differently."

Dan frowned, "She was reliving the attack, wasn't she?"

The doctor nodded, "dreams are our way of 'emotionally exhaling.' Dreams help us to work out our fears, frustrations, stress and anger. This is the case for Jenny."

…

"Nate, you're not responsible for this," Serena reasoned.

He was beyond reasoning with. He didn't even seem to notice that she was talking to him.

"Nate?" she tried again.

"She called and I hung up," he regurgitated over and over. It was exactly like the mantra of earlier. She secretly wondered if he thought that by repeating the words out loud, that it would erase what had happened. That if he said it enough times; the words would vanish from existence, and in turn, so would the situation.

Serena feared for him. He was bound to worry himself sick. She was afraid that the guilt he felt would destroy him.

…

Blair took a shaky breath, as she watched a nurse step out of Jenny's room.

"Can we see her?" Chuck asked, stopping the nurse in her tracks.

"She's heavily medicated," the woman warned. "She might not even recognize you."

Chuck looked at her expectantly.

"But if you insist." she continued. "I don't see why not. Go right in."

…

"I finally got a hold of your mom," Vanessa informed.

Dan closed his eyes and exhaled.

"She should arrive around the same time as Rufus and Lily," she continued.

Dan nodded, but then frowned.

Vanessa followed his gaze.

…

"Nate, please!" Serena reasoned, "Damien is to blame, not you."

He didn't budge; he continued to repeat his litany of denial. His words rung in her ears.

She opened her mouth to convince him against it, but soon froze.

Nate finally stopped his raving.

His eyes met Dan's in shame.

Dan looked at him; completely beside himself. "You _hung up_ on her?"

…

Blair cringed. Jenny was absolutely loopy; she didn't even seem to know where she was.

"Jenny?" Blair cautioned.

The young girl met her gaze.

Blair squirmed in her seat. Jenny may have been looking at her, but it was like she was staring at something else.

The meds might have been able to calm her nerves, but it definitely couldn't hide the pain she saw in her eyes.

Chuck furrowed his eyebrows suddenly. "Is it just me or is someone shouting?"

Blair shrugged and listened at the telltale sound. Her composure stiffened, after a beat. "Dan? … and Nate?"

…

"Get out of here!" Dan threatened.

Serena paled, "Dan, you're thinking irrationally right now."

"This is my sister Serena," Dan yelled, "My sister! She called him for help, and he _hung up _on her!"

"What is going on here," Chuck whispered harshly, as he and Blair stepped back into the hallway. "You guys are going to get us all kicked out!"

Dan shook his head angrily, "I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to check on Jenny, and when I come back out – I want you gone!" he seethed as he eyed Nate hatefully.

Chuck and Blair donned Dan perplexed looks. They watched as he disappeared into Jenny's room.

"I'm sure he doesn't mean it," Vanessa mumbled, while looking at Nate. "It's been a stressful day."

Nate shook his head, "No. He's right. This is all my fault. I shouldn't be here."

She looked at him taken a back; unsure of what to say.

"Vanessa do you mind checking on Dan?" Serena questioned, "…He seemed really-"

"Yeah," Vanessa interrupted, "I'll go see if he's alright."

Once she had disappeared off into Jenny's room; everyone turned to look at Nate.

"Mind telling us what Humphrey was ranting about?" Chuck pried.

"How is Jenny's attack your fault?" Blair questioned incredulously.

"She called me for help and I hung up on her," Nate replied grimly.

Chuck stiffened and narrowed his eyes at Nate.

Nate met his gaze, "Dan's right. I shouldn't be here. She's in there because of me."

Blair shook her head, "She's in there, because of Damien."

Nate lowered his head with guilt.

"We're the non judging breakfast club, remember?" Chuck finally spoke.

Nate looked up at him.

"Two can play that game," Chuck informed. "If you're to blame, then we're all to blame."

"I _hung up_ on her Chuck," Nate repeated.

"Yeah," Chuck dismissed, "And I _brought_ that little bastard into her life."

"I could have _fought_ harder to _reason_ with her," Blair piped, "But I didn't. Well, not until it was too late."

"And I _live_ with her," Serena spoke, "I should have seen all of the signs, but I didn't."

"But you guys couldn't have known what Damien was capable of," Nate reasoned. "The difference is Jenny called me for help."

"But you couldn't have known how grave the situation was," Blair shotback.

Nate averted her gaze, stubbornly.

"If you're to blame, then we're all to blame." Chuck insisted. "But this wasn't our fault. This wasn't your fault. It was Damien's!"

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	14. Six Months Of Healing

**Author Note: **I'm pretty sure a lot of you probably want to throw rocks at me for making you wait this long for a chapter.

Something was severely wrong with my computer. I think my laptop caught a virus. Every time I tried to upload documents on to Fanfiction. Net – it displayed my content as random symbols and not words. There was no way I was gonna upload that, and leave you all to decode my writing.

Heh.

But I got the problem fixed; as you can now see. And thank god for that too. I was going crazy. I'm currently working on a novel (which I hope I can one day publish) and my computer dilemma was making me anxious.

Anyways, enough about my boring life.

A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! I'm so sorry I couldn't respond back to all of your reviews, but I will try to do my best this time around.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

_Six Months Later_

Rufus Humphrey was never a violent man. He always believed that a dire situation could only be remedied efficiently through the use of words.

But that was the logic of the Rufus Humphrey from the past. The oblivious Rufus Humphrey of six months earlier. The Rufus Humphrey who had let a monster into his home.

That Rufus Humphrey made present day Rufus Humphrey sick.

Present day Rufus Humphrey was out for blood. More specifically Damien Dalgaard's blood. He wanted Damien's head on a platter, and he wanted to be the one who received the sheer pleasure of ripping the little shits head right off.

Rufus rolled out of bed. He could feel Lily stiffen next to him.

"Go back to sleep," he mumbled. He could see Lily nod through the darkness of the room, but her body still held its rigid composure. There was no way anyone could sleep after witnessing Jenny's screams.

Jenny's screams for help became a nightly ritual. Like clockwork every night she would scream about forthcoming horrors in her sleep.

The doctor's had warned that it was her way of dealing with the attack. It's was just her mind's way of dealing with the trauma.

Rufus had wanted to strangle the doctors. _This _was not dealing. _This_ was hell.

He was only steps away from her bedroom door, when he noticed that her screams had died. He lingered at the door for a few odd moments just to be sure.

She had screamed herself to sleep.

…

**Hours Later**

…

Serena sighed. She looked at her reflection in the mirror of her vanity and frowned.

Nate was on his way to pick her up. They were going out for dinner.

Dinner.

And it was going to be excruciating.

After Jenny's attack, she had noticed a major change in Nate's personality. He never laughed anymore. Heck, a smile had become too much to ask of him. He was like a ghost; continuously walking around in a haze.

She hated to admit it, but they were drifting. There was just too much distance put between them. They hardly ever spoke anymore.

It was one thing to see him torn up after the attack, but the police reports and Damien's trail had turned him into a walking corpse. As much as everyone tried to reason with him that it wasn't his fault. He never listened.

At Damien's trial, a month earlier, forensic technicians had announced that Damien had tampered with Jenny's phone. He had somehow managed to block everyone on her phone list.

That revelation had spawned the birth to a new wave of guilt. Nate deemed himself not worthy enough to be on her phone list. In his mind he didn't deserve to be on it, because of what he did at the snowflake ball.

She had questioned him about it, but he never explained.

What could have happened at the snowflake ball? And why did she even care? It was all so childish. Nate was acting childish.

And to make matters worse, Jenny refused to speak to him. Hell, she refused to even see him.

Serena could never criticize Jenny. Jenny had been through way too much. She was allowed to 'act out.' She needed this. Especially after hearing Damien's verdict.

Damien was deported back to Belgium and sentenced to a life in prison. Serena grimaced as she remembered Damien's judgment; in her opinion, in addition to the prison sentence, he should have been castrated with no anaesthesia.

A knock at the door snapped her out of her trance and away from her thoughts. The door opened as Nate popped his head into her room.

"You ready?" he asked; his voice a monotone.

Serena nodded, "just about. I'll meet you in the living room."

She watched him leave without a word.

Her phone beeped loudly, providing her with a much needed distraction. Serena grabbed the phone begrudgingly. It was from Gossip Girl; she prepared herself for the worst before stealing a glance at her screen.

…

Jenny scowled as she watched the perfume bottle she held in her hands, fall to the floor.

"Perfect," she muttered, as she scooped down to pick it up. She frowned as she noticed the cap had broken off. "Just perfect," she repeated through clenched teeth.

It had been ages since she had hung out with her friends. Her psychiatrist had practically become her best friend since her release from the hospital. The outside world was beginning to seem as though it were an urban legend.

She had managed to repair her relationship with Eric. It had been difficult and it had been a very slow process, but they were gradually getting there. The trust that she had once held in him was obviously gone, but in time (and lots of it) it was bound to return.

The only person she had refused to communicate with was Nate. Jenny had her own reasons for avoiding him. She didn't need Blair, Chuck, Serena, Vanessa, Lily, and her father telling her otherwise.

Dan was the only one who stood by her decision to not speak to Nate. She was positive that his reasons for doing so stemmed from his stubborn skill and ability to hold a grudge, and less to do with her own reason as to not speak to him.

She couldn't speak to him. She wouldn't speak to him.

She couldn't see him, because it was just too hard.

The only person who knew her reasons for not speaking or seeing Nate was her psychiatrist and she wanted to keep it that way.

Jenny sighed as she placed the severed cap back onto the perfume bottle. She fiddled with the cap, until she was positive that she had managed to mend it.

She pressed down on the cap to test out her craftsmanship, but the cap had been badly situated. The fluid missed its initial aim and collided with her eyes.

She yelped lightly.

Her vision blurred.

Jenny found herself blinking furiously; her eyes stung.

She found herself resorting to her sour mood of earlier. She stumbled about her room, and soon made her way into the hallway.

She cursed the perfume bottle as she trekked down the hall in search of a bathroom; more specifically a sink so that she could rinse her eyes.

Her vision was still cloudy, and her eyes still burned from the alien liquid.

She was just inches from the bathroom, when she spotted him. Her body went rigid. On impulse, she screamed loudly with all of the strength that she could muster.

He was approaching her. She cowered backwards and tripped over her own two feet.

She collided with the floor.

"GET AWAY!" she yelled.

He was at her side. He had come back for her. He had come to finish the job.

"DAMIEN! GET AWAY! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"

…

Serena looked at her phone and paled.

_He was back?_

Her shock upon reading Gossip Girl's text didn't last long.

"GET AWAY!"

Serena went rigid.

_Jenny? _She thought in alarm.

"DAMIEN! GET AWAY! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"

_Oh no!_ Her mind screamed.

Serena scrambled off of her bed and into the hallway; calling 911 as she went.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	15. My Face Is My Enemy

**Author Note: **A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated!

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

Serena ran as fast as her Jimmy Choo's could take her. Her mind swirled in confusion. Each stride she took ticked a year off of her life. At the back of her mind she could hear herself cursing her wealth. For the first time in her life she hated the size of her house. Her trek to find Jenny had begun to feel as though it had spanned a lifetime.

She finally found Jenny struggling with her attacker. Serena ended her call to 911 and let the phone slip from her hands. It hit the floor with a soft thud.

The soft noise caused Nate to turn around. He got up from his spot beside Jenny. His face was terror stricken.

Serena immediately rushed to Jenny's side.

"Jenny," Serena shushed as soothingly as she could. "Jenny its Serena," she continued, "Jenny calm down. Look at me. You're safe."

Her whimpers began to die down. "Damien?"

"Damien's in jail," Serena reminded lightly, "you're safe."

"But I saw him!" Jenny cried, "He was here!"

Serena bit her lip and flashed Nate a pained look. She quickly redirected her gaze back to Jenny. "You saw Nate," Serena informed, "You mistook Nate for Damien."

Jenny blinked at her in surprise; her lips drew together in a grim line.

Serena eyed her cautiously. After a beat of awkward silence she helped Jenny back up to her feet.

Jenny remained mum. Serena turned to look at Nate; his expression was unreadable.

Jenny shifted in her spot quietly and began to walk away; her unspoken departure startled both Serena and Nate.

Serena chased after Jenny, while Nate remained glued to his spot.

"Jenny?" Serena beckoned with care, "Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

Jenny turned to look at her. Her eyes were still puffy from the tears she had cried earlier. "I just want to be alone."

Serena nodded and watched her head back towards her room, before returning to Nate.

Nate hadn't uttered a word since she had found him. If it were even possible he seemed even more distraught than he had been in the past few weeks.

"Nate?" Serena began.

Nate met her gaze with a slight frown. "Do you mind if we cancel. I don't feel up to going out tonight."

Serena stared back at him wordlessly. She finally nodded at him grimly.

Nate sighed and walked out of the room. The chime of the elevator met her ears moments later; signifying Nate's departure.

Serena let a shaky breath escape her lips. She headed back to the misconstrued crime scene of earlier. Serena frowned as she picked up her phone. She carefully browsed her cell for the Gossip Girl text she had received earlier.

Serena furrowed her eyebrows as she re-read the text. As fate would have it her phone rang in her hand. The action nearly caused her to jump out of her skin.

She didn't have to look at her caller I.D. to know who it was. Gossip Girl had announced his return only moments earlier. It was only a matter of time before he came looking for her.

Serena bit her lip and debated her options. Should she answer?

She soon came to the realization that she was just humouring herself. Without a second thought she answered.

"Hi Carter," she greeted sweetly.

…

Chuck rubbed his temples as Nate continued ranting.

"She thought I was Damien!" he fretted. "How could she-…What-…Why would she-… … I don't look like Damien!" Nate flustered with mortification.

Blair exhaled loudly. "Nate," she began; her tone was warning, but her eyes were solemn. "Let's not go there."

Nate eyed her incredulously. The mistrust etched across his face conveyed he knew she was hiding something.

Blair flung her hands in the air and shook her head, "It's not my place to tell."

"You're _Blair_," Nate spat back, "You always have your nose in other people's business."

Blair made a noise in offence.

Chuck frowned, "Not to sound all cryptic, but you've got two eyes. Use them."

Nate grimaced at Chuck's words.

"Nathaniel," Chuck continued, "why do you think Jenny stayed with Damien? We all know that she knew he was a drug dealer. Yet, she stayed with him. Why was that?"

Nate didn't answer.

Blair folded her hands across her chest, "You know why. You chose Serena over her, remember?"

"That was years ago," Nate defended in a hushed tone. "She got over it."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night," Blair quipped.

Nate flashed her an infuriated look. "So this is my entire fault. I was right. I'm the reason-"

"Oh would you stop with the self-pity trips," Blair interrupted.

"Damien attacking Jenny was not your fault," Chuck reasoned.

"Then why won't she speak to me," Nate rationalized, "She talks to all of you but me."

Blair and Chuck remained silent.

Nate flashed them a curious glance. "You know!" he breathed in shock. "You know why she won't speak to me. Why won't she speak to me?"

"It's not brain surgery," Blair droned, "A blind person could see it."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows at her as he eyed her sternly.

"The answer is the reason you're here," Chuck replied. "You look like Damien. She can't be around you Nate. When she sees you, she thinks of him. It's painful for her. You just need to stay clear of her."

Nate looked at him agape. His expression was heartbreaking; it almost caused Blair to cry.

Nate shook his head in disbelief; "My face is the enemy?" he anguished. "My face is my enemy."

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	16. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

**Author Note: **

A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated!

Also, thank you to SusanXG for informing me about the existence of Fanforum.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

_Two Months Later_

Nate eyed Serena as she picked at her plate of chicken fusilli. "So," he began with a long sigh, "where were you yesterday? I kept calling your cell; why didn't you answer."

Serena quickly popped some of her pasta into her mouth. Nate eyed her speculatively.

She paused mid chew, swallowed hard, and laughed awkwardly. "What's with the third degree?"

Nate arched an eyebrow, "Just making conversation," he replied with a lightheartedness that didn't match the sudden gush of worry etched into Serena's voice.

Serena bit her lip in shame.

Nate took note of the action, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered quicker than she should have.

Nate raised another eyebrow doubtfully, but then shrugged off her anxiety as nothing.

He picked at his pasta with his fork. An awkward silence enveloped the table once again. The quiet felt almost heavy. It was as though they were both carrying a huge burden upon their shoulders.

Nate lifted his fork to his lips, and opened his mouth.

"I've been seeing Carter," Serena spoke suddenly.

Nate stiffened; he could only manage to look at her agape.

She eyed him fearfully, as he lowered his fork back to his plate.

"Nate?" she questioned when he didn't answer.

He played with the napkin that rested on his lap. After a beat he raised his hand; looking right past Serena. "Check please."

…

"So you've been cheating on me," Nate noted angrily, as he breezed out of the restaurant.

"No!" Serena explained, "No I did not. We haven't done anything. I would never hurt you that way."

"But you like him," Nate shot back; his tone livid.

Serena didn't answer.

Nate turned to look at her incredulously, and shook his head. "Goodbye, Serena!"

"Nate!" Serena reasoned as she struggled to keep up with his pace.

He made a beeline for his limo, and disappeared inside it.

Within moments it sped off into the night; and all Serena could do was stand helplessly by and watch.

…

**Hours Later**

…

"You don't seem surprised," Nate snapped; his tone signified that of betrayal.

Chuck shrugged, "Your track record speaks for itself."

Nate frowned.

Chuck sighed, "Sorry. What happened exactly?"

"I just told you," Nate fretted.

"What that Serena cheated on you, without actually cheating on you?" Chuck speculated.

"Whose side are you on," Nate droned.

Chuck laughed.

"Yes, please do laugh at my pain," Nate fumed; sarcastically, "I'm glad that my misery brings you so much joy."

Chuck shook his head lightly, "Seriously Nathaniel, what did you expect? You haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend lately."

"You are taking her side," Nate stated with annoyance.

"I'm not taking anyone's side," Chuck enlightened. "Nate. Serena and you are over. You're relationship has been over for months now; you've just been too stubborn to see that and let go."

"I just can't believe that she would betray me like this," Nate balked.

Chuck frowned, "You know what your problem is? You've got to stop idolizing all of the girls you fall for. That's why all of your relationships crash and burn. Your expectations are too high; people are only human Nate – they're bound to make mistakes – lord knows you're not perfect!"

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**

_* Expect Three New Chapters To Be Posted Today. I Hope You Enjoyed Chapter 1 of 3 *_


	17. To 'Do Right' By Her

**Author Note: **So the writing bug has infected me once more; as you can probably see. Enjoy chapter 2 of 3.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

On to the story…

_--_

_One Month Later…_

_--_

Rushing into another relationship so quickly was probably not the wisest thing to do, but he did it nonetheless.

He couldn't stand seeing Serena with Carter. It wasn't that it was because he felt betrayed or that he was still in love with her; because as much as he hated to admit it – Chuck was right. He had been holding onto a relationship that was failing.

He hadn't been the perfect boyfriend. He had ignored her; it was only natural that she seek solace someplace else. Serena needed someone who noticed her, and as much as it pained him to admit it – he hadn't. He didn't pay attention to her the way he had when they first got together. He didn't fight for her the way that he had at the beginning of their affair.

He ignored her.

He had been too caught up in himself to notice that she was hurting too.

He just didn't let himself see it, because somewhere deep down inside of himself he begun to resent their relationship. He had lived in denial for months. He had convinced himself that he was happy. But the truth was that he was a coward.

When it came down to it, he had taken the easy way out. He had made the easier choice.

Serena or Jenny?

Being with Serena was natural. He had known her practically forever. Serena was the girl that everyone wanted. She was what he had wanted. She was a mirage. Something that he thought he could never have. However, when he did capture her heart - being with her wasn't what he expected. Serena had been eighty percent curiosity and twenty percent lust.

He had duped himself into believing that Serena was the one, but all she had been was a school boy crush.

Jenny on the other hand was young. She was impulsive to the point where he had dubbed her naïve. She was young. She was Dan Humphrey's sister. She was young… well she wasn't that young? However, the image of everyone's shocked faces at the post-graduation party was something he could never erase from his mind. Gossip Girl's text bomb about him and Jenny, and everyone's reaction to their hook-up had added to his rash decision months earlier.

He chose Serena, because it was easier.

Being with Serena had been natural, because of their history.

Being with Jenny caused him to lose his mind. He could never think rationally around her. She got under his skin without even trying. The worst part was that she didn't even know it. She had no idea how profoundly she affected him. Being with Jenny scared him to death. She was so different from the other girls he had dated. Jenny was the best of both worlds. She appreciated fine taste, but she didn't thrive on the lavish things the way that the other Upper East Siders did. She cherished the smaller things in life as well.

Vanessa had been different too. But Vanessa was different in her own way.

Vanessa and Serena.

Nate sighed as he thought about both girls.

He had chosen Vanessa over Jenny.

He also chose Serena over Jenny as well.

He soon realized why he had been so adamant about staying with Serena.

He had betrayed Jenny twice, and for what? Relationships that crashed and burned.

It had only seemed fair that he stick it out.

And now that he had lost Serena; the guilt he had come to experience during Jenny's attack gnawed at him even worse than before.

He had to do right by her.

He had hurt her one too many times; too many tears she had cried for him.

Those tears would not go in vain. Her pain would not go in vain.

Nate stiffened against his car as he caught sight of his new beau.

"Hi," Vanessa beamed, "you're early."

Nate smiled, "You ready for our date?"

Vanessa smiled, "Let's go."

--

_**A/N – PLEASE REVIEW**_

_* I Hope You Enjoyed Chapter 2 of 3. *_

_* If you didn't, then the Jenny and Nate interaction in the next chapter will brighten your mood…well sort of. *_


	18. On A Collision Course With Fate

**Author Note:** As promised, finally some Jenny and Nate interaction.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

_One Month Later_

Nate muttered to himself as he swerved slightly. He clutched his steering wheel tighter with agitation. It was the worst rainstorm in the history of the city, and he was caught in the thick of it.

He cursed loudly, as a car sped past him; nearly tailgating him in the process.

He frowned. The rain was pouring heavily; it was making it impossible to see.

He came to an abrupt stop at a red light; his thoughts turned to that of concern for the pedestrians trapped outside.

Nate drummed his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. He continued to do so, even after the light turned green.

He sighed as he past the old school; he shot a quick glance at St. Jude's, before driving right past it.

The traffic light ahead him turned red once again as he approached. Nate eyed it resentfully, as he came to an abrupt stop near the steps of the met.

For old time's sake, he spared the steps a curious glance. He did a double take. He couldn't stop staring. He could only manage to sit in his car motionless.

A loud honk echoed behind him. The noise caused the girl on the steps to look up at him. She clutched at her yellow umbrella tightly. He could imagine her squinting at him through the rain.

The car behind him honked impatiently once more.

Nate ignored him, and flung on his emergency blinkers. The car behind him soon got the hint, and sped past him.

Nate got out of his car; he walked across the street, and then headed up the stairs of the met.

"Need a ride?" he offered as he idled upon the step in front of Jenny.

Jenny simply reinforced her grip on her umbrella and eyed him hesitantly.

The rain was making it impossible for him to see her. He was probably drenched from head to toe now.

"You're going to catch pneumonia," Nate pressed lightly.

Jenny sighed, "Oh alright," she agreed.

…

She could have sworn that she saw him smile, but her attention was much too occupied with the fact that it was raining cats and dogs.

Nate held the door open for her as she got in.

Jenny bit back a smile as he got into the car. He was absolutely drenched. His seats were bound to get ruined, and his suit had already lost that battle.

He looked up suddenly. Jenny turned away quickly. Busted! she thought pathetically, but then shot him a quick glance.

He met her gaze.

…

Nate couldn't think of anything else to do but to stare right back. All logic in his mind dimmed.

In a movement that surprised him, Jenny waved a hand in front of his face.

He snapped out of his trance.

She laughed. God he missed that sound.

"Earth to Nate," she joked, "You alright?"

He blinked. Was she seriously talking to him?

…

He didn't answer.

"Nate?" she cautioned.

He shook his head, "Um…sorry. I just-… sorry."

He quickly turned on the ignition, and steered his car back on to course.

After an awkward moment of silence, he finally spoke. "So, what exactly were you doing alone in the rain?"

Jenny shrugged. "I was waiting for Eric, but I guess our signals must have gotten crossed or something."

"Oh," Nate stated simply.

Jenny laughed suddenly; startling Nate.

He turned to look at her. He couldn't help but grin; it was impossible not to. Her smiles were contagious. The action of doing so, made his face feel weird. It suddenly donned upon him that he hadn't laughed or smiled in ages.

"You look like a drowned rat," Jenny commented playfully.

She couldn't help but voice her opinion. He looked ridiculous. And as much as she had tried to avoid him, she couldn't ignore the fact that she missed him.

She seriously had her psychiatrist to thank for her new outlook on life. Seeing a shrink had done wonders for her. Her sense of reality was slowly returning to her. Nate was not Damien. He could never be Damien. She had known that all along. It wasn't fair that she had chosen to distance Nate from herself.

She had made her peace with Eric. Nate deserved the same as well. She had tried to mend their relationship earlier, but she had chickened out.

She wasn't even sure if he could handle being around after she had mistaken him for Damien. That must have been such a slap in the face for him.

Jenny exhaled peacefully. She took the bad weather as a sign. Maybe it was the world's way of helping her face her fears, and push her to do something that she didn't have the courage to do. And that was to speak to Nate.

Nate rolled his eyes at her. "A rat? You're comparing me to a _rat_!"

Jenny giggled and she nodded at him.

He shook his head incredulously. "I do not look like a rat. I'm much too ridiculously good looking to be compared to a rat."

Jenny simply smiled.

"So," Nate asked after a beat, changing the topic, "how have you been?"

She shrugged limberly, "Okay, I guess."

Nate pulled to another stop, as he came to a red light. "Jenny," he began, "Look. I know that things have been kind of … well they've been really. What I mean to say is that…" he stammered unable to make his words come out the way he wished.

Jenny simply arched an eyebrow. It was sort of fun to see him flustered. Nate always seemed so confidant and sure of himself. His attempt to apologize was…cute.

He was still in the middle of trying to express his feelings when the light suddenly turned green.

Jenny tapped him lightly on the arm, "Uh. Nate," she interrupted, as she pointed ahead, "the light."

"Oh," he rationalized as he put his foot on the pedal, and headed into the intersection.

Jenny smiled at him weakly, but then went rigid.

…

He didn't even have time to process what had happened, for it all occurred so fast.

One minute there was a startling blinding light engulfing them.

A car hadn't stopped in time. It ran a red light.

It had collided with their car.

Nate's head hit the steering wheel upon collision.

His world went dark.

…

He wasn't even sure how long he had been knocked out.

He was drowning in darkness.

He could hear Jenny's voice calling out to him, from the back of his mind.

He latched on it. He deemed it his flotation device. She was pulling him back. Her voice was his lifeline.

"Nate?" Jenny whispered, "Are you alright?"

His eyes opened. He stirred lightly. The airbag had been deployed. He struggled to sit up.

"Are you alright?" she repeated.

He opened his mouth to answer. His throat felt parched.

"Are you alright," she whispered again.

"I'm fine," he assured; his voice hoarse.

"Are you alright."

Nate frowned. Something was wrong. He fought to sit upright.

"Are you alright," her voice was a hushed whisper.

He finally managed to look at Jenny.

A tormented sound escaped his lips, as he did so.

There was so much blood.

"Jenny!" he yelled frantically.

"Are you alright," she repeated.

Nate strangled a sob; she was in shock.

The car in question had collided with the passenger side; Jenny looked absolutely broken.

"Jenny!" Nate panicked; the sound of sirens approaching in the distance reached his ears. At that moment he realized that he had never heard a sound more beautiful.

"Hold on," he begged; as he intertwined her blood soaked fingers with his. "You'll be alright. I promise you. You're going to be okay. Just stay with me."

She looked at him; comprehension evading her.

"Jenny!"

Her eyes bore into his. They were filled with a reliance that he had come to know so well. The emotion in her eyes had taken him aback. Had her faith in him returned?

Her eyes fluttered closed.

He was not going to let her down. Not this time.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	19. A Mind Of Glass

**Author Note:** Thank you all, for the wonderful reviews; I shall use them as my motivation to keep writing.

**Something to keep in mind:** My writing perspective when penning this fic stems from: 1) subject matter that has already been covered in the show, as well as 2) spoilers that I have stumbled upon.

_For Example:_ If you remember, a while back; I mentioned Damien in a futuristic chapter. However, Damien had yet to grace our television screens at the time.

**To weebirdy**: Constructive criticism is much warranted. I'm not one of those authors who simply disregard reviews that don't coincide with their vision. I understand what you mean. Jenny has been through a lot, and I realize that the car accident might seem like a bit much. However, after reading this chapter I think you'll come to realize why I did (or wrote?) what I did.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

His eyelids were heavy. When had he fallen asleep? He struggled to open his eyes; a task which proved easier said than done.

Drawing strength, Nate fought internally for a few odd moments, before he finally opened his eyes.

It took him a while to focus on the faces in front of him. He disregarded the gasps of surprise that surrounded him. He exhaled heavily; contempt filled his being. Where was he?

He could feel uneasy eyes watching his every move. His vision finally improved; Blair and Vanessa stood over him with alarm.

He swallowed hard and looked around.

The walls were sickeningly white. It hurt his eyes and made his head spin. And the place smelt clean…a little to clean. Almost as if it were sterile.

Nate frowned, was he in a bed? He winced; his head hurt. He touched his head tentatively. His mouth opened; he let out a silent scream. Bandages? He was wearing bandages. Why was he wearing bandages?

His face crumpled with incomprehension. Vanessa and Blair took notice.

"Nate?" Vanessa whispered.

He finally met her gaze.

"You were in a car accident," Vanessa explained.

Blair drew her lips together in a grim line.

Nate blinked. He struggled to remember what had happened. His stomach burned with worry, but he could not fathom why. Why was he worried? What had happened?

"You've suffered a few scrapes and bruises," Vanessa continued, "the doctor's say that you should make a full recovery."

Nate didn't hear anything she said. Flashes of what happened were slowly coming back to him. He was starting to remember.

_He remembered driving._

_He had driven by the old school._

_He remembered…an umbrella?_

_A yellow umbrella._

_Jenny's umbrella!_

_He gave her a ride._

_He remembered … the CRASH._

"Jenny!"

Vanessa and Blair jumped in shock. He hadn't realized that he had screamed.

"Nate," Blair began cautiously, "just calm d-"

Nate refused to listen, "where's Jenny?"

…

"I am never leaving town again!" Rufus yelled from the other line causing Dan to pull the receiver an inch away from his face. "Every time I go out of town – she gets hurt!"

"Dad," Dan hushed, "When's the earliest you can get here?"

"Tomorrow morning," Rufus droned.

Dan rubbed his temples and sighed, "okay."

"Dan?" Rufus whispered softly after a beat.

"Yeah dad?"

"Hang in there," Rufus bided.

"You too dad."

…

Chuck frowned as he eyed Jenny. "Why you?" he mumbled sadly. She lay on the bed unconscious.

She had been completely covered in blood when they had arrived. Miraculously for her she had been sparred broken bones, torn ligaments, and internal bleeding.

Aside from a few scrapes and bruises, she was going to be fine.

Chuck eyed the small cuts on her arm. It was hard to imagine that such little wounds could bleed rivers.

The door to Jenny's room opened causing him to look away. He got up from his seat, in greeting.

"Hello Chuck," Allison Humphrey greeted as she entered the room. Chuck nodded and managed a feeble wave.

"How is she?" Allison asked as she took a seat next to her daughter.

"Unconscious," Chuck explained, "but she should be fine."

Allison smiled at him weakly; she then turned her attention back to Jenny. She rested a comforting hand upon her head, and stroked her hair lightly.

Dan entered the room shortly, "Nate's awake," he informed, looking at Chuck.

Chuck nodded and excused himself.

Allison shook her head angrily, "she can't seem to catch a break lately, hunh?"

Dan exhaled and took a seat on Jenny's unoccupied side. Allison continued to stroke Jenny's hair; the movement was almost mechanical.

"Did you get a hold of your father?" Allison asked.

Dan nodded as he held Jenny's hand. "Um…yeah. He should be here as early as tomorrow morning."

A moment of silence enveloped them.

"Dan?" Allison began suddenly, as she looked at her son. "I'm proud of you."

Dan blinked.

"I know I'm not around as much as I should be, and-"

"Mom, really," Dan dismissed, "it's fine."

"No it's not," Allison remarked, "but…I just wanted to say that you're a good son. A great son. And a great brother."

Dan smiled at her lightly, "Thanks mom."

"Jenny's lucky that she has you. You always have her back."

…

"Let me go!" Nate fumed; he broke free of Blair's grasp.

"You were just in a car accident," Blair yelped, "You _have_ to stay in bed."

"I _have_ to see Jenny," Nate shotback. "I have to make sure she's okay."

Chuck entered the room and sighed at the sight in front of him. "Nathaniel," he droned, "get back into bed before you collapse."

"Where's Jenny?" Nate asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's going to be fine," Chuck assured. "I just saw her. She'll be okay."

Nate narrowed his eyes at him with distrust.

"I'm not lying to you Nate," Chuck insisted. "You can see her for yourself when you're better."

…

Jenny stirred lightly.

Allison and Dan watched her uneasily. Their faces soon filled with delight when she opened her eyes.

"Jenny?" Allison cooed. "Jenny? Are you alright? Sweetheart?"

Jenny touched her head and looked from Dan to Allison. "Mom?"

Dan smiled.

"Yes. I'm here sweetheart," Allison chimed, "I'm here. And you're okay."

"What're you doing here?" Jenny asked, her voice a rasp whisper.

"You were in a car accident," Allison explained. "But you're okay."

Jenny stiffened. "The car accident!" she yelled with recollection. "Oh my god! Where's Nate?"

Dan frowned, "He's alright."

Allison looked from Dan to Jenny, oblivious.

"I have to see him," Jenny panicked. "I have to make sure he's okay."

"Jenny, he's fine," Dan droned; dislike seeped into his words.

"I have to see him," Jenny insisted; ignoring him.

"Sweetheart you can see him tomorrow," Allison proclaimed.

"No! I have to see him now," Jenny persisted.

Dan shook his head, "Jenny…"

Allison looked at Dan helplessly, "Who's Nate?"

Dan rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to answer.

Jenny beat him to it. "He's my boyfriend."

…

"You're sure she's okay?" Nate questioned.

"Yes," Chuck reaffirmed.

"You're sure she's-"

"She's fine!" Chuck fretted.

A small knock at the door caused them to end the conversation at hand. An old woman – a nurse, stepped into the room. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of Nate, "Young man! Get your butt back into that bed!"

Chuck stifled a laugh. Nate shot daggers at him; he obeyed the nurse.

"Everyone out," she instructed, as she shooed the teens, "I have to check his blood pressure."

…

Dan furrowed his eyebrows at Jenny, "Your what?"

"My boyfriend," Jenny responded matter-of-factly.

"What? How? … When!" Dan sputtered.

Jenny laughed, "As if you don't know. We've been dating for more than three years."

Allison arched an eyebrow and looked at Dan. Dan was at a loss of words.

"No you haven't!" Dan informed; trying to get through to her, "You are _not_ dating Nate."

Jenny frowned. She touched her head as if in pain, "Yes we are! Why would you say something so cruel?"

Allison frowned. "But uh…" She didn't want to go there, but Jenny wasn't making any sense. "What about um-…then what was Damien?"

Jenny blinked, "Whose Damien?"

Dan paled, "…what?" he murmured.

Allison got up from her seat, "I'm going to go get a doctor," she whispered to Dan. Dan nodded motionless.

…

Blair linked her arm with Chuck's as they headed for Jenny's room.

"He's very determined isn't he?" Blair mused as she looked up at Chuck. Chuck merely smiled, but then turned to look at Vanessa.

Vanessa had been awfully quite. "Are you okay?" Chuck asked. Vanessa nodded lightly, wordlessly.

They continued on their trek until they found a much frazzled Allison and a clearly disgruntled Dan in the hallway outside Jenny's room.

"What's wrong?" Blair asked, as the group hustled over to the Humphrey's.

"Something's wrong," Dan muttered quietly, "She's not making any sense."

…

Nate sighed as he watched the nurse exit his room.

Chuck had seemed truthful enough when he had visited, but Nate couldn't dismiss the feeling of uneasiness that he felt in the depths of his stomach. Something was wrong. He could feel it.

…

"Jenny's been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder," the doctor informed gravely. "I don't know how we didn't detect it sooner. She's got all of the symptoms."

"It's because of her attack," Allison concluded.

"Yes," the doctor confirmed. "Now, you've got to keep in mind that she's been through a lot. The car accident triggered what we call hysterical amnesia."

"So what does that mean?" Dan asked fearfully.

"Jenny's been through a lot," the doctor replied, "The amount of trauma and stress has taken a toll on her. She's deluded herself into avoiding traumatic experiences. In her mind they no longer exist. Therefore, all prior events that have brought her pain have been erased from her mind."

"What if we try to tell her otherwise?" Allison asked.

"It would be counterproductive," the doctor explained. "I find that in cases such as this, that _time_ can be a great healer. In the meantime, humour her. Let her believe that what she believes to be true is right. She needs to feel comfortable again in her own skin. Pressurizing her could lead to a breakdown. Her mind is very fragile. Hopefully with time her defensives will return and so will her memory."

…

Nate sighed as he played with the IV tubing attached to his arm.

The door to his room opened. He looked up, half expecting Vanessa to enter, but instead he found Dan.

"Dan?" Nate tensed.

"I'm not here to fight," Dan explained.

"Oh," Nate stated smally.

Dan exhaled.

Nate frowned. Something was wrong.

"I came here because I need to ask something of you," Dan began nervously.

Nate prepared himself for the worst.

"I need you to go along with Jenny's delusions," Dan explained.

He wasn't expecting that. He furrowed his eyebrows at him confused, "What!"

…

"I can't believe this," Vanessa muttered.

Blair eyed her anxiously. "We have to do this for Jenny."

"Really?" Vanessa fumed. "Would you - if you were in my position – go along with this little charade?

Blair narrowed her eyes at Vanessa grimly, "We're not talking about me now are we."

"I can't let Nate pretend that he's someone else's boyfriend," Vanessa seethed.

"Well it's not up to _you_ is it," Blair replied. "It's _Nate's_ decision."

Vanessa scoffed.

…

"No way!" Nate yelled. "I'm not doing _that _Humphrey."

"You have too," Dan reasoned.

"Are you high?" Nate stated incredulously, "Do you even hear yourself right now?"

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't important," Dan explained. "Don't you see how grave the situation is? Jenny could risk her sanity if she learns the truth!"

"The truth!" Nate jeered, "How in the world is me _lying_ to her considered the truth? I can't do it Dan. I won't!"

"Nate you have too," Dan begged, "She'll lose it when she finds out that you're not her boyfriend. It'll force her to remember things that made her this way."

"And what will happen when she regains her memory Dan?" Nate rationalized. "She'll hate me for lying to her. I'll end up looking like the bad guy in all of this!"

"Nate, please," Dan reasoned.

"No!" Nate stated stubbornly. "Hell no!"

Dan ran a hand through his hair in frustration, after a beat he looked at Nate. "She called you," he noted. "She wanted you to save her and you hung up on her!"

Nate stiffened.

"She's in trouble again Nate," Dan continued. "She needs your help."

Nate shook his head; torn.

"_I'm_ asking you this time," Dan begged, "Save her Nate."

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**

_**A/N: **_So it's come to my attention that a lot of people were under the impression that Dan and Vanessa were dating. Heh. But I never said that they were. Dan and V are BFF's, and I've kept them as such. Nevertheless, they do have a past. I will touch upon their untold past in an upcoming chapter. Just as I've already glossed over the whole 'Nate chooses Serena over Jenny' scenario in my fic.

In addition, promos have hinted that something will happen between Dan and Vanessa. Have you seen the March 8th promo? Well you should. It's posted on youtube, check it out. It looks so good. I'm still reeling over Damien punching Nate in the face. When I had first seen the promo I thought that it was Nate who had punched Damien.

Josh Schwartz is an evil genius – Jenny dating a Nate clone is a coincidence? I don't think so.

Well until the next chapter,

Toodles.


	20. Journey To The City Of Truth

**Author Note:** Thank you all, for the wonderful reviews – they were all greatly appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

_One Month Later_

"What do you want me to say Vanessa?" Nate yelled in frustration. "I have no choice in the matter."

"You did have a choice!" Vanessa spat back, "Don't you remember? You agreed to this!"

Nate exhaled; trying frantically to calm himself. He and Vanessa had been fighting a lot. To say it was _a lot_ was an understatement. She was being paranoid.

Vanessa shook her head, angrily. "I have to get out of here," she muttered.

Nate sighed, "V…"

"No," she cautioned; halting him to an abrupt stop. She didn't want him to chase after her. She held a hand up – in emphasis. "…Just don't," she stated simply, before breezing out of the apartment.

Nate frowned as he watched her go.

…

Dan glowered as he watched Jenny twirl around happily in a shimmering gown. "That's the third time this week," he lectured, "Don't you have any homework?"

"Finished," Jenny sang happily. She paused and smoothed out the front of her dress. "And what's got you so worked up?"

Dan grimaced, "I'm not _worked up_."

Jenny scoffed.

"It's a week night, and you two have already been out twice this week," Dan reasoned.

"Since when is dating a bad thing?" Jenny questioned skyward. She then turned to look at him; smiling wickedly at him in the process, "I think someone's just bitter cause he's lonesome."

Dan looked at her appalled, "I'm not bitter. I'm fine."

"Really?" Jenny asked pointedly. "When was the last time you went out on a date?"

"I've gone out plenty of times," Dan shot back.

Jenny smirked, "Sure you have," she stated smartly.

Dan frowned. Well he _used_ to. He just never really felt like spending time with anyone lately if it weren't Vanessa.

Dan walked away from the door; an action which didn't go unnoticed by Jenny. She chased after him. "Dan?..."

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her, "I'm just gonna go out and get some air," he informed, shortly.

"Look, Dan," Jenny apologized quickly, "I'm sorry if what I said upset you. I didn't mean to-"

He waved his hand dismissively, "Hey. You didn't upset me," he assured. "I just feel like taking a walk."

Jenny nodded quickly; smiling at him weakly.

He shot her a grin before exiting the room.

Jenny let the smile slip from her face as she watched him go.

…

Vanessa sighed with relief as the cold air hit her in the face. She had felt like she had been suffocating in Nate's apartment. The fresh air was refreshing.

After a few moments of relishing in her escape; she soon found that she wasn't quite sure with what to do with herself.

She hadn't thought things through properly. Part of her wanted to strut back into the complex, and give Nate an earful. Yet, on the other hand, she was just glad to get away from him.

She had been a fool for giving their relationship another shot. Being with him again reminded her of why they didn't work out the first time.

How she had forgotten the reasons to their split was beyond her.

She and Nate were just too different.

She needed to be with someone who understood her; someone who got her. Someone like-

She frowned.

Was she seriously thinking of going _there_ again?

She couldn't allow herself to think like that. It was that kind of thinking that had gotten her into this mess.

Vanessa sulked and deemed herself a hypocrite. Here she was berating Nate for lying to himself, when in reality she was just as bad as he was.

She frowned again. They were both cowards. She and Nate were both cowards. He was running from his feelings for Jenny, and here she was trying to forget about-

"Hey V!"

Vanessa nearly jumped out her skin. She spun around to face the exact man who dared to haunt her thoughts.

"Sorry," Dan apologized, with a slight laugh. "Did I scare you?"

Vanessa forced a smile timidly, "Um…No. No you didn't."

…

Nate frowned. Just because she didn't want to be chased, didn't mean he had to obey. Did he?

He grabbed his coat, and sprang out his door.

It took him a few minutes, before he finally got to the grande lobby.

He quickly looked at his watch.

He had to meet Jenny in an hour.

His mind clouded with conflicting thoughts.

Jenny or Vanessa?

Make up with V? or Go out as planned, with Jenny?

Nate sighed as he stepped outside. He quickly reached for his phone to summon his driver.

He glanced at his watch.

…

His limo appeared within moments.

He knew what he had to do.

He got into the luxurious vehicle, but soon found himself pausing idly by the door.

His driver eyed him confused, and followed his gaze.

Nate had locked eyes with Dan and Vanessa; the two of whom were locked in a passionate embrace.

…

Vanessa pulled away from Dan, breathlessly.

She struggled to comprehend the situation. What had just happened? One moment she was crying to Dan about her relationship woes, and the next moment they were kissing.

Dan took a step back; embarrassed.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then stiffened – staring at something off in the distance.

Vanessa frowned, and followed his gaze.

Her mouth silently hung open, as she caught sight of Nate.

…

Nate didn't stick around to chat. He simply got into his limo, and sped off into the night.

"Are you okay sir?"

Nate blinked, and nodded quickly at his driver.

Was he okay?

Nate frowned. He should be upset.

But he wasn't.

He clenched his hand in frustration.

He wasn't upset?

Why wasn't he upset? He had just found his girlfriend kissing another man. The proper response would have been to beat Dan Humphrey down, but he didn't.

Nate exhaled with distress. Did he even _deserve_ to be upset? So what if he caught Vanessa with Dan. He had chosen to go out with _Jenny_. He had made his choice.

Nate grimaced; he realized why he didn't feel upset. He wasn't upset because he felt… relieved.

Nate frowned. Ideas of checking into an asylum soon sprang to his mind, because he had deemed himself crazy.

…

"Do I look hott or what?" Jenny giggled as she struck a pose in her living room for Nate.

Nate swallowed hard.

He was going to hell. He definitely was. Vanessa was right. He was lying to himself.

He was big fat liar. He was well on his way to stealing his grandfather's throne. The old man would be so proud.

Nate shuddered at the thought.

Jenny watched the emotions play across his face, silently.

Nate frowned. He shouldn't be enjoying this. He was practically taking advantage of Jenny. She would hate him when she regained her memory.

Jenny waved a hand in front of his face, "Hey!" she beckoned.

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Earth to Nate," she joked.

Nate paled. She had uttered the exact same phrase to him moments before the crash.

He needed to tell her the truth. The guilt was eating him alive. He had to be honest.

"Nate?" Jenny cautioned, "What's wrong?"

Nate sighed. The truth would kill her. It would literally kill her. He couldn't do it.

"Nate?" Jenny beckoned; alarmed.

Nate grimaced. He was in his own personal hell. He couldn't take it anymore.

…

"Nate? Are you o-"

She didn't get to finish.

His lips came down on hers; silencing her instantly. His lips were gentle yet demanding. He kissed her fiercely.

…

Jenny pulled away suddenly and to Nate's horror he found himself disappointed by the sudden lack of contact.

She looked up at him in daze, "I knew the dress was gorgeous, but I wasn't expecting that kind of response."

Nate took a step back stupefied. What the hell was he doing?

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Jenny smirked, "Sorry? Why would you be sorry?"

"I shouldn't have," Nate stammered, "… you know." He cursed himself. He had been so careful with her the past few weeks. The farthest he had gone with her was a kiss on the cheek.

Jenny smiled, "Well I'm glad that you kissed me. I was beginning to think that you were celibate."

Nate blinked, but smiled nonetheless.

"So you ready for our date?" she asked as she grabbed her purse.

Nate extended a hand towards her, "Your chariot awaits, milady."

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**

**A/N: **So what did everyone think of the Serena/Nate sexcapades on Monday's show? Apparently that kind of behavior continues in the next episode. Josh has apparently decided to treat us to a 9 ½ weeks version Serenate style.

I may be NJ but I do not hate on other shippings. To each their own, is the way I view things. However, I'm finding it hard to take Serenate seriously. Sexual attraction lasts for only so long.

At least Chair have an emotional bond; it's more than just about the sex for those two.

Oh, and I just found this out – but did anyone know that the actor portraying Damien is in fact a year older than Chace Crawford. Heh. That's rich.

Why did I bring that point up? It's because I'm so sick and tired of hearing the age difference argument – when it comes to NJ.

Viewers of this show need to keep in mind that Josh Schwartz is the dude that gave us 'Marissa and Ryan.' Mischa was 17 and Benjamin was 25 years old when The OC series began. Their age difference mirrors Chace and Taylor's. Therefore, that argument is null and void.

I say that if the actors have workable chemistry – pair them together. Memorable Soap Opera Supercouples, such as: The Y&R's Nikki and Victor; General Hosptial's Luke and Laura; Days of our Lives Doug and Julie – have all pushed the age envelope. Those pairings have a 15-18 year age difference on each other. Yet, today they're all considered EPIC.

Well, that's my rant.

Until the next chapter,

Toodles, Darlings.

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	21. Whatcha Say?

**AUTHOR NOTE:** I know that it's been over a month, and I'm terribly sorry for the delay. But my reasons for not writing recently are legit, and here's why: my grandfather was diagnosed a month ago (hence the reason of the last update) with prostate cancer. He's quite healthy for his age, and very active. He started having an irritable cough – one that he couldn't get rid of. Therefore, he decided to go in for a check up. If it hadn't been for the cough he would have never known that he was in the second stage of prostate cancer. Blood work ended up showing high levels of PSA. As a result, he has been undergoing radiation for the past month now. His treatment continues up until the first week of June. The silver lining in all of this is that it is treatable. Had the cancer spread into what can be categorized as stage three, the scenario would have been much graver. Consequently, the rest of my family as well as myself have been helping out my grandfather as well as my grandmother the best that we can.

So, that's why no new chapters we posted recently. But I was finally able to make some time … or more truthfully – inspired to write (I'll explain later), and chose writing over sleep.

Therefore, enjoy!

_..._

_One Month Later…_

_..._

Nate rubbed the side of his temples and sunk into the plushness of the leather couch. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

The sound of feet shuffling towards him met his ears, but he did not open his eyes.

"Rough day?" Chuck's voice noted as he made his way into Nate's apartment.

Nate didn't move nor respond.

Chuck took a seat on the couch next to him. The sound of ice clinking around against glass was unmistakable.

"Isn't it a little early to be drinking?" Nate asked; his eyes still closed.

"Its happy hour somewhere," Chuck enlightened.

Nate sighed and finally opened his eyes. He pursed his lip in thought and stared off into oblivion.

"Something wrong?" Chuck asked.

Nate shook his head lightly.

Chuck arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. "Come on," he urged, "you can tell me anything."

Nate exhaled. His handsome face contorted into a scowl, "Is it crime," he began, his voice soft, yet broken, "to love someone who isn't yours?"

Chuck looked at Nate taken aback and frowned.

**...**

"That's cute," Serena commented as Blair spun around in front of a full length mirror.

Blair grimaced, "I wasn't going for cute," she informed, "I was going for sexy/posh."

"Sexosh," Dorota nodded in agreement.

Serena eyes widened.

Blair mirrored her actions, "What?"

"Posexy?" Dorota asked.

"Are you speaking Russian?!" Blair questioned incredulously.

"No Ms. Blair," Dorota clarified, "I just thought…Isn't that what you kids do? Combine words?"

Blair opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of heels stomping across the marble floor of the store caused her to turn away from Dorota with alarm.

Jenny headed towards the girls quickly.

Serena eyed her with alarm, "You're late…" Serena trailed off as she caught sight of Jenny's face. Jenny looked as though she were going to faint.

Blair scanned the store quickly, as she mentally noted that Jenny had come alone.

No one left Jenny alone. It had been like clockwork for months now, everyone kept an eye on her out of fear that she would see something or someone that could blow their cover. There was always someone on hand to explain Gossip Girl texts that she didn't understand.

Dealing with condolences about her ordeal with Damien had proved tricky. Luckily, Dan had managed to convince her that everyone was talking about her dog that had to be put down by the humane society. Calling Damien a dog wouldn't startle people. Sure it was an insult to dogs to be compared to him, but it had managed to placate Jenny's questions for now.

"Jenny what's wrong?" Blair asked.

Jenny took a deep breath, "Its nothing," she dismissed quickly, "I'm just tired from running all the way here."

"Running?" Blair questioned, "You _ran_ all the way here to the boutique?"

"Why didn't you ask one of the drivers to bring you?" Serena asked.

"Eric had an errand, and Dan was running late for class," Jenny explained. "There weren't any cars left."

"You do know that you could have called Chuck or Nate," Blair reminded lightly, "I'm sure that it would have been no bother for them to send one of their drivers."

"I wanted to walk," Jenny replied, "I needed the fresh air. Plus I ran into Vanessa and sorta lost track of the time."

"So why did you choose to run?" Blair asked.

"Like I said, I lost track of the time and I thought it was going to rain," Jenny answered. "Didn't want to get stuck in the rain."

Serena arched on eyebrow, as she looked out of the boutique's glass windows. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

**...**

"What?" Chuck asked, confused.

"I think," Nate clarified, "I think that I'm in love with Jenny."

"Well that much is already obvious," Chuck pointed out. "Took you long enough to figure it out."

Nate looked at him completely baffled. "What?"

"Come on Archibald," Chuck explained, "Its written all over your face. You smile more when you're around her. You're always ready to save her. You'd go to hell and back for her and her family. I've witnessed it all first hand."

"But if I act on how I feel about her…" Nate trailed off.

"It's not a crime to love her Nate," Chuck responded.

"But wouldn't it be like I'm taking advantage of her," Nate grimaced. "I'm lying to her about everything."

"Are your feelings for her real?" Chuck asked.

Nate nodded, "Yes."

"Then you aren't lying about _everything_," Chuck stated. "If you love her then tell her you love her. When it comes to love, there is no sense of what is right or wrong as long as there is unconditional love."

Nate blinked and stared at Chuck speechlessly.

"Wipe that look off your face," Chuck mumbled, "Blair tends to turn even the hardest of men into emotional wrecks."

**...**

"Did you girls find a dress?" Lily asked as she made her way down the spiral staircase of the Humphrey Van Der Woodsen abode.

"Yeah," Serena breathed. "Mine is the color of champagne and Jenny's is a shimmering ivory."

Lily smiled, "Well you girls better hurry up and get dressed. Nate and Carter should be here in an hour."

Serena smiled and hurried to her room.

Jenny leaned against the soft white couch in the living room and watched her go.

Lily took notice of Jenny's expression. "Jenny dear, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Jenny stated smally. "I just have a headache that's all."

**...**

"Hey," Dan greeted as he opened the front door of his apartment. "You look great."

"Thanks," Vanessa beamed. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Dan smiled. "So…" he stated after a beat and pointed at the untied tie around his neck. "Want to give me a hand?"

Vanessa chuckled, "Sure."

She put down her purse and headed towards Dan. Dan winked at her causing Vanessa to smirk. She picked up the delicate fabric and began crossing the wide end of the tie over the narrow end.

"I ran into Jenny earlier," Vanessa stated suddenly.

Dan arched an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

"She was talking to some girl I didn't recognize," Vanessa continued. "She seemed upset."

"Do you know what they were talking about?" Dan asked.

Vanessa shook her head, "Jenny just dismissed it like it was nothing," she informed with a sour tone.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows at her, "But you don't think that it was nothing. You think that is was _something_?"

**...**

Jenny frowned as she inspected herself in her full length mirror. She glanced at her watch quickly.

The events of earlier came back to her, and hit her like a tidal wave.

_Flashback:_

"_Jenny!? Jenny Humphrey?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Wow! I haven't seen you in like forever."_

"…" "_Do I know you?"_

"_It's me. Coralline? Coralline Dewitt."_

"…"

"_I bought ecstasy from you a few months ago."_

"_What?"_

"_I heard about what happened with Damien. I'm so sorry. How awful. I never pictured Dalgaard as a killer/rapist."_

"_What?!"_

_End of Flashback._

Jenny sighed. If it hadn't been for Vanessa interrupting the conversation she probably could have figured out that girls deal.

Damien? Damien Dalgaard? Jenny thought to herself. Dan had said Damien was a dog. A dog that she couldn't remember. Why couldn't she remember?

Jenny glanced at her watch again. She figured that she would have more than enough time to do a google search.

**...**

"Hey you," Serena cooed as Carter stepped out of the elevator and into the foyer. She immediately wrapped her arms around him.

"Beautiful as always," Carter stated appreciatively. Serena giggled in response.

The elevator chimed suddenly; Nate stepped out of it this time.

"Hey," Serena greeted.

Nate waved lightly, "Hi. Where's Jenny?"

Serena smiled, "Probably still getting dressed."

**...**

Jenny looked back at the face that stared back at her in horror.

Confusion filled her features.

"He looks like Nate," Jenny stated aloud in shock. But it wasn't the image that surprised her the most. The semblance of familiarity and recognition came flying back to her.

She knew this man.

She knew him.

But how?

Jenny glanced at the bright green BIO icon next to his image. It shone at her like a beacon, beckoning her to press it.

**...**

**AUTHOR NOTE:** So as I stated above - I haven't had time to pen a chapter in like forever. I was seriously debating a hiatus until after GG's season finale. But since last night's episode (I live in Canada, so we're a day ahead of the US) ended with a delightful NJ scene, I thought better of it. I'm starting to highly suspect that Nate wants to secretly be a Humphrey or at least be part of their family.

The reason I was debating a hiatus for this story was when spoilers started circulating about a certain storyline, which made my stomach cringe. Then the promo for Gossip Girl's season finale hit youtube, and it basically confirmed my fear.

If you haven't seen the promo with Jenny and Chuck – then you'll be completely oblivious as to what I'm talking about, but if you have then you know what apparently goes down.

If that trailer is in fact what happens on GG's season finale, then I'll be gravely peeved. I'm a spoiler junkie, because I hate surprises. So I tend to read things in advance to mentally prepare myself. GG as dramatic as it is, has never done anything much to throw me off guard. Well, that was until I saw the trailer for the season three finale. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. GG's trailers have been known to be misleading in the past, and that is the hope that I'll be holding on to until the episode airs on Sunday.

I really hate how the show has begun to write Jenny. Why are they trying to ruin her character? I mean when Serena pulls the same shit, she comes of smelling like roses, but Jenny always comes off seeming like a bitch. It's not fair.

Another reason I was debating a hiatus is Jenny's departure from the series. If you haven't heard by now… have you been living in a box? It's been in interviews and magazines for a month now. Taylor Momsen will be leaving the show for a brief period. She'll be touring with her band during Jenny's absence from the Upper East Side.

As a result, for storyline continuity I wanted to make sure that my story and the show were on the same path. I'm praying that Blair is just overreacting in the promo and that what she thinks happened didn't happen. Hopefully Chuck is covering for someone…like Nate. That would make sense. Chuck's bromance with Nate is epic; maybe the writers are resurrecting it? Am I making any sense? I'm sorry if I'm not. I'm a bundle of nerves right now.

GG's finale happens a few days before 90210's. I'm a Naomi fan, and spoilers have indicated that something horrible happens to her in the finale. Well, more like two horrible things happen to her. I'm a Naomi/Liam fan as well, and what happens to liomi in the finale as well as what happens to Naomi - will just hurt my heart.

Therefore, watching Jenny and Naomi suffer in their respective season finales is bound to leave me depressed.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	22. Kiss Me, Lie To Me, Now Watch Me Cry

**AUTHOR NOTE:** Sorry it's been so long dolls. I'd like to thank everyone for their prayers; my grandfather's treatment went well.

I am so sorry for leaving you all hanging like that. I actually just got back from Europe. My friends and I decided that we needed to get away from Canada for a while. I highly recommend backpacking through Europe. People aren't lying when they call it an experience.

So, I just watched this week's GG – and honestly I'm glad that the show is paving a Juliet/Nate relationship, because I want him to get the "rebound" out of his system before he gets together with Jenny.

Also – Does anyone think Juliet is a stalker? I doubt she's Gossip Girl. I wonder if she's dangerous. And when I say dangerous, I mean 'Glenn Close-Fatal Attraction-Boiling Your Bunny' dangerous.

Note of frustration: When did begin to jumble my scenes? Perfect! Now I have to go back and reformat everything.

Anyways, onto the story:

_..._

A knock at the door caused Jenny to look up from her computer screen.

She watched as her bedroom door opened slightly. Nate popped his head into the room. He covered his eyes with his hand, "Are you decent?"

Jenny giggled, "Pretty much."

Nate let his hand fall from his face. He pouted slightly as he caught sight of Jenny behind her desk. "Lies," he stated mischievously.

Jenny smirked and arched an eyebrow, "So sorry to disappoint you. But I'm afraid no free show for you."

"Is that so?" Nate stated with a grin as he approached her.

Jenny nodded, "You've got to feed me first at the least."

Nate laughed as he came to an abrupt stop beside her.

Jenny smiled lightly and returned her attention to her computer screen.

Nate followed her gaze. The image on the screen made him suddenly sick to his stomach. Without thinking his hand shot forward on impulse. The force of his knuckles colliding with the screen caused the monitor to buckle over violently and crash to the floor.

Nate blinked furiously, unable to comprehend what he had just done. He had wanted to do that for months. Granted it would have been better had he gotten to sucker punch the real thing, but punching Damien's image seemed to release his much accumulated pent up frustrations. He hadn't even realized his ill feelings for Damien were still brewing so close to the surface. His head had been filled for months on end with sadistic thoughts of torture when it had come to Damien during the time of the trial. Unfortunately for Nate he had never been privileged to a face to face encounter with the douche. Fortunately for Damien he was sparred Nate's wrath.

Jenny didn't move. She simply froze. Nate's actions shocked her to the point of paralysis.

It took her a minute before she finally found her voice, "Why did you do that?"

Nate didn't answer, but simply store off into oblivion.

"Nate?" Jenny pressed again after a few seconds went by.

He was rigid – like a statue. He was unmoving; eerily still. It scared her.

Nate finally met her gaze. His expression unreadable. His gaze on the other hand was steady, and locked with hers. It made her feel uncomfortable, and she felt a wild rush of blood color her cheeks.

She didn't know what it was about Nate that made her feel weak in the knees. A simple gesture like the slight brush of his hands against hers, or the way he said her name, and even the way he looked at her made her blush like traffic light.

Nate took a step back suddenly, as if he were considering something. He cast a glance at the monitor lying on the floor. "I'm sorry Jenny," he stated carefully, "I don't know what came over me."

Jenny got up from her chair, and made her way next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay," she dismissed; giving Nate's shoulder a light squeeze.

"No its not," Nate muttered. "None of it's right. Nothing is right. Everything is so messed up. It shouldn't have been this way."

Jenny looked at him confused, "What's not right?"

Nate shook his head violently; moving away from her - he sat down on her bed, and buried his head in his hands.

"Nate what's wrong?" Jenny asked; fearing the answer. She had never seen him look so broken.

"I want to save you from all of this, but I can't," his outburst sounded more like a desperate wail.

Jenny paled, "save me from what?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but no sound came out. It was like he didn't know how to say what he felt. He didn't know where to begin. He didn't know how to say it. He closed his mouth, and pursed his lips in thought.

After a minute of contemplation, he looked at her. "Do you trust me?"

Jenny relaxed a bit, "of course I do." Nate seemed to take comfort in this revelation. Jenny blinked completely baffled with his attitude, "but I don't understand-," she began anxiously, "I mean. Why are you- what are you," she stammered over her words; trying to get her question out right. "I don't understand what's going on, and why everyone is be- _mmmfff_"

Her words were smothered by Nate's lips crushing down on hers. Jenny melted against him despite herself.

He pulled away from her, and pressed his forehead against hers. Majestic blue pupils clashed with Ocean blue. Nate tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, "I love you," he whispered.

Her blue eyes widened as he said this; the shock of his words sizzled through her body like an electric current. "I love you too," she responded shakily.

Nate cupped her chin lightly, and traced a finger against her bottom lip. Jenny shivered against his touch.

His mouth crashed down on hers again, and she closed her eyes almost on impulse. She snaked her arms around his neck.

His lips danced lightly over hers; tasting and teasing.

Her soft lips tasted sweet, with a hint of pink lemonade – probably from the lipgloss she was wearing. The scent of vanilla, wafted up to his nostrils, as his arms tightened around her.

His tongue searched the moist recesses of her mouth; a faint moan escaped her lips.

That sound alone was enough to make Nate loose control. At first he was content on just stroking her back through the thin fabric of her dress. However, as their kisses began to deepen, he soon realized that that was simply not going to be enough. He needed more of her.

Nate moved closer towards her, crushing her against his body and burying his fingers in her hair.

He needed more of her, he thought to himself again.

Jenny wrapped herself around him and kissed him fiercely.

Nate lowered her down on to the bed.

It didn't take long before the clothes came off.

_..._

Jenny's eyes fluttered open. A smile graced her lips as she felt Nate's hand tighten around her waist from underneath the covers.

They had never made it to the party last night, and she was thankful that no one had called or come to check up on them.

The first rays of the morning sun, was spilling in through her window.

Jenny turned to face Nate. His chest rose and fell slightly as he slept. Her smile of earlier made its way back onto her face as she watched him. She studied him quietly, touching his cheek gently; it was amazing how angelic he looked in his sleep.

She drew her hand back, remembering the monitor that he had practically thrown to the floor – the previous night. She disentangled herself from his arms - replacing a pillow in her place, and pulled on her bathrobe to cover her naked form.

She tiptoed quietly, and picked the monitor up form the floor. Inspecting it briefly for damages, and realizing that there was none – she plugged it back in, and was greeted by Damien Dalgaard's face once again.

Jenny shot a curious glance at Nate. He was still asleep. She quickly returned her gaze to Damien's picture. The Bio button shone at her again. Her curiosity got the best of her, and without hesitation she clicked it.

…

Nate awoke with a smile on his face, serene and truly happy for what he could only describe as for the first time in his life.

Jenny had given him that and so much more in just a split second. The realization of what love really was and why people spent their whole lives searching for it – finally made sense to him.

"Jenny..."he sighed; reaching out and pulling her to him, his hands sunk into the soft plushness of her body.

"What?" he frowned, "wait...what the?" His eyes flew open and he sat up to stare down at a pillow next to him. He looked around her room in a daze, and found her seated at her computer.

Nate paled, "Jenny…"

…

Jenny stiffened at the sound of his voice. She got up from her computer and made her way towards him. Nate swallowed hard as he took in her appearance.

She met his gaze; her blue eyes swam with tears.

Her hands shook; she couldn't stop herself from crying as the tears began to fall, and with it her memories came flooding right back.

…

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	23. Tidal Wave

**AUTHOR NOTE: **I'm about to drop a serious number of chapters on y'all. It's been too long – I know. Bear with me. I know that they're kind of short, but rest assured they're concise, straight to the point, and they certainly get things moving.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl. I wish I did, though.

…

It hit her like a tidal wave.

Every gruesome detail.

Every horrible memory.

It was like waking up but without opening your eyes. It took all of her strength to keep from slumping to the floor, and to fight the urge of crawling into a fetal position.

Tears flowed like a river down her cheeks, and her body shook with each sob that escaped her.

The room seemed to whirl around her; an action that made her feel sick.

…

Nate got off the bed and took a cautious step towards her.

Jenny looked at him, but it was like she couldn't _see_ him. It was like she was looking through him.

She seemed to see everything _but_ him.

He had to do something.

He had to say something.

…

She blinked, suddenly aware of his presence again.

He was talking to her.

But she didn't hear a word.

The shock of it all had knocked her senseless.

It was all so _confusing_.

_Everything_ was confusing.

_Everyone_ was confusing.

It was like they were all trying to confuse her on purpose.

…

Nate frowned. Jenny was looking at him like he was an alien.

It took every fibre of his being to reach out towards her.

…

The sudden awareness of his hand inching towards her sent her recoiling back.

She balled her hands into a fist, and despite herself she screamed, "Don't touch me!"

…

Nate paled.

He had prepared himself for this.

It didn't lessen the sting of her words though.

"Jenny," Nate reasoned. "Let me explain."

Jenny shook her head violently.

…

It was like he was purposely trying to hurt her.

"Get out," she ordered. To her horror he didn't listen. He took another step towards her and closed the distance between them.

She tried to scramble out of his grasp, but he put both of his hands on either side of her face, and forced her to look him in the eyes.

"Jenny, please," Nate begged. "I can explain."

"You used me," she sobbed. God, she thought bitterly, this was like Chuck all over again!

Nate looked as though she had slapped him. "No," he refuted, his voice sounded almost broken. "You were confused," he explained. "After the accident – you somehow convinced yourself-"

"I _remember _what happened," Jenny interrupted; managing to break free of his grasp. Nate tried to reach for her again, but she was too fast this time.

She pointed a finger at him accusingly, "you made me believe that we had a chance. How could you manipulate me like that?"

"Jenny," Nate implored. "It wasn't like that. You've got to believe me. Ev-"

"Believe _you_?" Jenny spat bitterly. "I can't believe you! I don't even _trust_ you anymore!"

"Jenny, please just l-"

"Get out!"

"Je-"

"Get out!" she screamed again.

Nate flinched. Maybe he should leave? He obviously wasn't getting through to her. Maybe all she needed was some time to calm down.

"Fine," Nate sighed.

Jenny froze and narrowed her eyes at him.

"If that's what you want," he added quickly.

She didn't answer, and wordlessly wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks.

Nate exhaled loudly, and picked up his things.

He shot one last pleading glance at her, before quietly closing the door behind him.

As Nate made his way to the elevator he mentally resolved to try again tomorrow – unaware that his compliance had just spawned his undoing.

…

***** PLEASE REVIEW *****

They warm my heart.


	24. It Will NEVER Be You

**AUTHOR NOTE: **This makes 2 chapters in one day!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gossip Girl.

…

_1 Month Later …_

…

Two months! Vanessa silently fumed, as she ran through the lobby of the Van Der Woodsen/Humphrey penthouse.

How could you have been such a fool! Vanessa sobbed, while furiously wiping angry tears that decorated her cheeks. Dan has always loved Serena, she reminded herself silently. It will _never_ be you.

…

"It will never be you," Jenny reminded herself as she flipped through pictures of her and Nate. All of which, were taken during his betrayal.

Jenny wiped a tear away as it cascaded down her cheek.

He had given up so fast. A few _Get outs!_ and he was gone. Sure he had called; he had even tried to see her. But the fact of the matter was that he didn't try _hard _enough.

She would always be the one he would just let slip away. Why was it that he never _really_ chased her?

He fought for Blair.

He fought for Serena.

And in some ways, he even fought for Vanessa.

But with her – they were usually over before they even began.

…

Dan blinked in surprise and pushed a clearly drunk and confused Serena off of him.

"Carter?" Serena slurred, upset.

Dan frowned, "No," he corrected. "I'm _not_ Carter."

Serena went rigid and immediately cowered back, "Wha-…I don't…How did…I-I…" she stammered, despite herself.

"My thoughts exactly," Dan enlightened.

Serena buried her face in her hands.

…

"I didn't know where else to go," Vanessa cried.

Nate furrowed his eyebrows at her confused. To be honest he was disappointed. It was foolish to think that Jenny had been knocking on his door, but he still had hope.

Vanessa looked around helplessly, "If this is a bad time…"

Nate shook his head; finally finding his bearings. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "Come in."

Vanessa smiled at him weakly, and took a shaky breath.

Nate closed the door firmly shut behind them.

…

***** PLEASE REVIEW *****


	25. Shattered

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Make that 3 chapters in one day!

**Disclaimer:** I am definitely not Josh Schwartz or Cecily von Ziegesar. If I were – you'd be seeing this story on your television screens.

…

"You're an idiot Jenny Humphrey!" Jenny muttered to herself as she eyed the new Gossip Girl blast with hate.

_This just in!_

_SPOTTED!_

_Nate and Vanessa minus their Humphrey other half's._

_Just friends? _

_Or friends with benefits?_

_You know you love me._

_Xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

Jenny exhaled in frustration and slammed her laptop shut. It was a miracle that she hadn't cracked it. If she had, it would have probably been suiting. Cracked just like her heart.

Her gaze fell on a picture frame of her and Nate.

In the past few weeks, she had started to second guess herself. Why on earth she had doubted herself, eluded her now.

Nate would never change.

She picked up the picture and threw it violently against the wall.

She had to protect herself.

The frame collided with the wall, and shattered into a million pieces.

Jenny fell to the floor unable to stop the tears.

Now_ that_ was fitting, she thought bitterly. The broken glass sparkled on the floor; broken into a million pieces.

Just like her heart.

…

***** PLEASE REVIEW *****


	26. Pregnant

**AUTHOR NOTE: **Scratch that! 4 chapters in one day!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – except for the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

_1 Month Later…_

…

The lurching of her stomach; the spinning of the room; and the horrible feeling of nausea, was really starting to worry her.

At first she had chalked it all up to _stress_, but the symptoms had become haunting and repetitive, and now she was starting to think that there was something horribly wrong.

Jenny sighed as she waited for her doctor to return with her blood work.

She had come in to see her doctor a few weeks earlier. Not wanting to frighten or alarm anyone, she had come for a routine check up by herself.

But why would her doctor want to see her? If everything was alright, she could have told her that over the phone. Panic began to course through her veins; spreading like wildfire.

Taking a few calming breaths helped to placate her panic for now. All she needed was some fresh air and her doctor's word, that she was worrying herself sick over nothing.

"Hello Jenny."

Jenny looked up and was greeted by her family doctor's warm face. "How are you?"

How do you think I feel? Jenny smiled nervously, "Good."

The older woman took a seat opposite from her. The expression on her doctor's face was unreadable.

They probably taught them to master their emotions, Jenny thought worriedly.

The doctor sighed causing Jenny to cringe. That's not a good sign!

"Jenny," the older woman began, stoically.

She prepared herself for the worst.

"You're pregnant."

Jenny blinked. She wasn't expecting that.

…

***** PLEASE REVIEW *****


	27. The Detectives

**AUTHOR NOTE: ** This makes 5 chapters in one day!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – except for the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

Pregnant!

Jenny couldn't even comprehend the ground beneath her feet.

Pregnant!

She couldn't even think.

Pregnant!

She was lost in an unending litany of shock.

…

"Isn't that Jenny?" Blair noted.

Chuck turned and peered out of his window. He furrowed his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes, "Yes, but what is she doing by herself all the way out here."

"That's a doctor's office," Blair continued, while motioning to the building.

Chuck threw open the door of the limo.

"What the hell!" Blair screamed.

The driver immediately halted the car in a panic.

"Were you planning on committing _suicide_?" Blair fretted.

Chuck got out of the vehicle.

His driver hastily got out of the limo.

"Wait here," he ordered, as Chuck quickly ushered him back into the car.

He slammed the driver's door shut, and held a hand out to Blair.

Blair looked at him confused, but took it nonetheless. "Why are we-"

"Something's wrong," Chuck interrupted.

Blair blinked at him in surprise, "what do you mean?"

"Jenny's upset," Chuck explained. "She looks panicked."

…

What am I going to do! Jenny mentally screamed.

My father is going to kill me! Dan will be out for blood!

The delirium began to set in.

Oh my god! They're going to _kill_ Nate!

"Jenny?"

Jenny stiffened and whirled around in shock.

"Hi," Blair waved tentatively.

Chuck stood next to her silently.

Jenny paled, Oh good god!

"Is something wrong," Blair asked.

Lie! "No," she replied as casually as she could.

Chuck narrowed his eyes at her, and looked up at the building.

Blair pursed her lips, "You don't _seem_ fine," she noted.

She's like a shark sniffing blood! "I'm fine," Jenny repeated, mustering as much conviction as she could.

Chuck frowned, "Doctor's office, unkempt appearance, traces of panic," he muttered, scrutinizing her with care.

Blair's eyes widened, "You're pregnant!"

…

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	28. Operation: Sabotage

**AUTHOR NOTE: **That's what? 6 chapters!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – except for the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

_A Few Weeks Later…_

…

"Imbeciles," Blair fretted as she secretly followed Nate and Vanessa into the Plaza, "You're surrounded by imbeciles."

…

"I know, right!" Vanessa giggled.

Nate laughed. It felt great to get out of the house. Vanessa had become such a good friend to him in the past month. He would always be eternally grateful.

Like him, she was also dealing with her own bout of heartbreak. The two of them had sort of developed their own little club. Since both of them had been spurned by a Humphrey.

"I'll be right back," Vanessa excused herself.

Nate nodded and watched as she left for the bathroom.

He returned to the plate of food in front of him.

The sound of a chair shuffling, caused him to look up.

"Mind if I join you?" Blair asked sweetly.

Nate opened his mouth to respond.

"Thanks," Blair interrupted; taking a seat.

Nate closed his mouth, furrowed his eyebrows, and smirked. "What's up Blair?"

"Vanessa!" Blair grilled, laying right into him.

Nate blinked; confused. "Hunh?"

"Why?" Blair muttered. "Why her!"

Nate could only manage an open mouthed stare. What the hell was she talking about!

…

"So," Rufus began. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

I'm pregnant, Jenny thought silently.

Dan stared at her intently.

"I-I…" Jenny began hesitantly.

Rufus arched an eyebrow, while Lily inched forward uncomfortably on the couch. Her eyes racked over Jenny's and rested on her stomach.

Jenny paled. Could she know?

"What's wrong Jen?" Dan asked.

Rufus folded his arms in front of him and donned Jenny a cautious glance.

"I…I'm…" Jenny stammered.

Lily's lips drew together in a grim line.

"I've decided to transfer out of Parsons. There's this amazing fashion school in Milan, and I've been accepted," Jenny blurted.

…

"Blair."

Blair froze mid rant and looked up at Vanessa.

Blair plastered a fake smile on her face, "Vanessa," she greeted shortly.

"You're in my seat," Vanessa replied.

Blair rolled her eyes, but got out of the chair. "I was leaving anyways."

Vanessa made a face at her, one which Blair returned.

"I'll see you later Nate," Blair bided. "And _remember_ what we talked about!"

Nate stared at her incredulously as she left.

"What was_ that_ about?" Vanessa asked, with a laugh.

"I have no idea," Nate breathed, "She completely attacked me. She thought we were dating."

Vanessa laughed, but then straightened, "And she was upset about that?"

"Yeah," Nate corroborated.

Vanessa arched an eyebrow, "Do you think that she…"

Nate looked at her anxiously, "That she what?"

"That she's in love with you," Vanessa finished.

Nate blinked, but then the two of them burst out laughing.

"Of course not!"

"I was just playing!"

…

***** PLEASE REVIEW *****


	29. The Will

**AUTHOR NOTE: ** 7 chapters in one day! How boss am I?

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – except for the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

Blair grabbed on to a chair for support.

Shocked, she stared at the phone in stunned silence.

Serena mouthed a _what's wrong _at her.

Blair swallowed hard. "We'll be right there."

…

Chuck watched as Nate collapsed into a chair. How much more could the guy take. He couldn't seem to catch a break.

Jenny shot an anxious glance at Chuck. She didn't know what to say. Nothing could be said. Nothing would make him feel better.

Vanessa squeezed Nate's hand lightly.

Nate didn't even seem to notice her there.

…

"The funeral is tomorrow," Tripp explained.

Serena and Blair looked at him agape.

"Grandfather wants it that way," Tripp continued. His voice cracked. Blair put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. She hated him, but she understood his pain.

"Shouldn't it be about what _Nate_ wants," Serena asked.

…

"Nathaniel."

Nate hardly even noticed him. Heck, he hardly even noticed anything anymore.

It was like walking around in a haze.

Faces, sounds, and colors. He just didn't notice them.

"Grandfather," Nate greeted shortly.

"We need to talk about your mother's will."

Nate frowned. Why? Why now? Why did he have to talk about that _now_? She wasn't even _buried_ yet.

"Nathaniel," the old man breathed. It was evident by the tone of his voice, that what he had to say wasn't pleasant. "There was a stipulation added onto the trust that your mother left you?"

Nate stared at him expectantly.

"You must be _married_ in order to access it."

…

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	30. The Miscarriage

**AUTHOR NOTE: ** 8 chapters in one day! That's all for now folks! I bid you adieu!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing – except for the plot I'm orchestrating.

…

He caved.

Under the pressure and family obligation, he had caved!

Why had he caved?

Nate frowned as he eyed the Gossip Girl blast.

_Nate and Vanessa sitting in a tree._

_K_

_I_

_S_

_S_

_I_

_N_

_G_

_First comes love._

_Then comes marriage._

_Then comes V pushin' a baby carriage!_

…

Vanessa sighed and stared at the Gossip Girl blast. Well that was fast, she noted anxiously.

A loud knock at her door caused her to spin around in alarm.

Vanessa headed over to the door nervously, and peered through the peep hole.

Greeted by a familiar face, she let a sigh of relief escape her lips.

She pulled open the door and froze.

Dan stared back at her accusingly. "What the hell!"

…

Jenny paused and tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Hurry up," Blair yelled from the other side of the door.

"I'm almost ready," Jenny shouted. Her phone vibrated suddenly causing her to jump slightly.

She laughed off her skittishness and picked up her phone to read the unread text.

…

Chuck stared at the Gossip Girl Blast in shock.

"What's wrong?"

He looked up and wordlessly handed the phone to Blair.

Blair paled. "We cannot let Jenny see this."

Chuck opened his mouth to respond, but was silenced by a loud scream.

…

The pain in her side electrified her.

Nate's marrying Vanessa! Her mind was screaming obscenities but her stomach seemed to be fighting another battle.

The odd sensation of something wet cascading down her legs caused her to go rigid.

No! she panicked silently. This can't be happening!

…

"What the-" Chuck yelled.

Blair paled. "Jenny!"

But Chuck was already gone.

He knocked on the door, only to have a faint whimper greet his ears.

He grabbed the door knob and found it locked.

"What's wrong," Blair breathed; having finally caught up to him.

Chuck shook his head wordlessly.

Blair began to knock on the door, "Jenny? Jenny! Are you alright?"

"This can't be happening!" Jenny wailed.

"Jenny!" Blair yelled again.

"Move away from the door," Chuck instructed. Blair obeyed and watched as he ran at the door and flung his body against it.

It didn't budge.

Chuck repeated the action three more times, until the door gave way.

…

Blood!

So much blood!

Jenny shook her head violently. "No! You can't die! You can't!"

…

Chuck and Blair peered into the bathroom and found Jenny on the floor.

Chuck went rigid instantly.

"You can't die," Jenny sobbed. She was dragging the blood back up her legs, and she had her hands firmly pressed against her clothed private. It was like she was trying to keep the baby in her.

Blair took a step cautiously towards Jenny. "Jenny?"

Jenny didn't even seem to notice her.

"Call a doctor," Blair commanded, her voice cracked. Frozen with shock, Blair could only manage to silently sob.

Chuck watched as Jenny tried to frantically claw at the blood seeping the floor. Dan and Rufus couldn't see this. And this would kill Nate.

Blair looked up at Chuck.

"We need to send her away," Chuck whispered.

…

*****PLEASE REVIEW*****

The next chapter returns to the present!


	31. Six Days To Get The Girl

**Author Note: **Hello everyone! I'm back! So, the last time I uploaded – I uploaded a gazillion of chapters. The reason for doing so was because I had surgery the next day on my armpits (due to an infection that created cysts – that needed to be surgically removed). As a result, I posted a bunch of chapters to hold you guys for a while, until my cuts healed. The surgery was on November 2, and I have now somewhat recuperated.

Also, it came to my attention that FF screwed with my stories. You see, I usually separate scenes with: - but FF somehow erased them, and my chapters turned into one confusing jumble, with no indicators to divide my scenes. Did anyone else have this problem? As a result, I ended up re-editing and reposting chapters. I've made a few changes to past chapters, but the changes aren't too drastic. Instead, the story now coincides with current material from recent GG episodes. For example, Blair mentions Jenny's 'crazy phase' and there's a moment where Jenny mentally acknowledges losing her virginity to Chuck. Also, Damien's appearance in this story is now sort of AU given that I tweaked his relationship with Jenny to make it seem like she took him back at some point after returning from her exile.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Gossip Girl. But I don't.

…

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

_5 YEARS, 6 MONTHS, AND 23 DAYS LATER…_

¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)  
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.

And just like that, she left.

Like a coward - she ran.

She ran as fast as she could and as far away from anything and anyone who would remind her of the pain that she had suffered.

Jenny slammed the book shut and pushed it away. She knew it wasn't fair to torture herself like this.

But she just couldn't help it.

She wiped the tears that clung to her cheeks and closed her eyes.

…

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

Jenny flinched, and her eyes fluttered open.

She looked around the room in a daze; clearly disoriented.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

It took her a few moments for her confusion to fade.

Straightening her posture by going instantaneously rigid, recollection hit her, and she remembered instantly where she was.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

The fear began to set in.

Getting up from off her bed, she made her way out of the bedroom and into the seating quarters.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

Just go away! She stared at the door numbly.

"Jenny?"

Jenny did a double take, and took a step towards the door. She let her hand rest on the doorknob, while she debated opening the door.

"Jenny? Are you there?"

Jenny blinked.

"It's Dan! Please, open the door."

Sighing heavily, she let her hand grasp the doorknob.

She flung the door open and was finally greeted by the anxious face of her big brother.

…

He was almost about to give up hope, but then to his surprise the door flew open.

He could only manage a stupefied open mouth stare in return.

She looked healthier than he remembered.

She seemed comfortable and more at ease.

She did however look tired, but her hair, he noted was unkempt – a result of having just waken up.

Dan finally let a smile grace his lips.

He took a step into the room, and closed the space between them, by pulling her into a protective, bear hug.

"Thank god!" Dan muttered. "God, I missed you."

…

He looked confused.

Confused, but then relieved.

Jenny immediately hated herself for torturing him and her father so.

She should have told them where she went.

She should have let them visit her.

But seeing them would only remind her of the life she had left behind.

The life she so desperately wanted to forget.

In a movement that surprised Jenny, Dan smiled.

She had expected him to shout. Where was the lecture she was expecting?

Dan pulled her towards him and hugged her tightly.

Jenny closed her eyes, and silently wept; ridden with guilt.

…

"Nathaniel," Chuck greeted, dismissing a client in the process. The files he held in his hand conveyed that he had just come from a meeting.

Nate eyed him sceptically.

Chuck pointed to a bottle of scotch, and reached for it, "Shall I pour you a glass?"

Nate merely arched an eyebrow and folded his hands across his chest.

Chuck lowered the scotch confused, "Did something happen?"

"You tell me," Nate grilled.

Chuck blanked, "What?"

Nate frowned, "why didn't you tell me Jenny was coming back?"

…

"But why?" Dan asked; taking a step back, "Why did you leave?"

Jenny blinked. And here it comes!

"You just left!" Dan reasoned, "No explanation, no formal good bye, why Jenny? Why?"

…

"It wasn't my news to share," Chuck reasoned through a nasal sigh.

Nate glowered and furrowed his eyebrows, "How long is she back for?"

…

"Dan, I just had to get away!" she explained, feverishly. "You know better than anyone else how crazy my life had become. I needed clarity!"

"But shutting out your family?" Dan stated incredulously. "Why would you do that?"

…

"Nathaniel," Chuck warned.

"How long!" Nate demanded.

Chuck stayed silent.

Nate didn't waver.

…

Jenny went quiet.

Dan grimaced. "Look. I know how bad things got. I remember that," he sympathized. "But 2 second phone calls for the holidays? What _was_ that?"

Jenny cringed.

"Hey Dad! Merry Christmas! Click," Dan mocked. "Hi Dan! Happy Thanksgiving. Click."

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"You should be," Dan agreed. "Do you have any idea what you've put dad through? Do you have any idea what he's been through? You don't even know what we've been dealing with."

Jenny stared at Dan agape.

…

Chuck sipped his scotch slowly; an action in which, only served to piss Nate off more.

"If you don't tell me," Nate threatened, "I guess I'll just have to make a deal with Gossip Girl and find out from her."

Chuck stiffened at this and narrowed his eyes at Nate, "You wouldn't."

Nate didn't blink. "Try me," he replied, calling Chuck's bluff.

…

"What do you mean?" Jenny panicked. "What's wrong?"

Dan cowered lightly, "You just should have been here."

What the hell did he mean by that? Jenny frowned.

Dan sighed suddenly, and pulled her into another unexpected hug. "I'm sorry," he apologized; his voice was a pained whisper. "I shouldn't have spazzed out on you like that."

Jenny nodded against him, dumbfounded.

Something was wrong. She could feel it in his voice. She could sense it through his touch.

She could see it in his eyes.

What was Dan not telling her?

…

"She's here until the wedding," Chuck revealed with a sigh.

Nate exhaled dramatically, and began pacing erratically. "So that means I have six days."

Chuck tensed, "To do what?" he asked, fearing the answer.

Nate stopped pacing, "to win her back."

…

**PLEASE REVIEW**

**A/N: **Did anyone see the January promo? What is Lily thinking? And is this show seriously thinking of trying Blair/Dan? Have the writers lost their minds? They are seriously going to have to pull something grande out of their asses, to make that relationship plausible. Why on earth would Dan ever go there? I mean, don't get me wrong – I LOVE Blair, but Blair sent his sister away.

Oh, and this might seem random. But my cousin and I are always predicting things when it comes to TV shows (most of the time I'm usually right. It's a gift what can I say). But we both had a creeping thought the other day. The writer's seem to have just left the whole Nate/Serena/Dan thing up in the air. I mean, we know Serena did say that she went to the ball for Dan, but we never really got to see Nate's reaction/feelings about this. Ergo - enter Jenny; newly returned from her exile. I know Dan and Nate are all: "we're-bros-before-hoes-blah-blah-blah" but I honestly think that Nate's little green monster might start rearing its ugly head and he might just be crazy enough to F*** with Dan (that is if Dan and Serena start playing couple right in front of his face) by going after his little sister as payback. Then, surprise, surprise – Nate falls for Jenny. Jenny finds out and hates him. And that pretty much ='s season 5.

Also, EXCITING NEWS: for those of you who care. Was anyone a fan of The Y&R during 2001-2005? Because if you were, then you were probably a fan of Jolleen (JT & Colleen). Anyways, both of the actors who portrayed this supercouple are starring on the CW's new hit show Nikita. I have to admit that I started watching this show just for Lyndsy (aka Colleen. She plays the role of Alex). I've been praying for Thad (aka JT) to guest star on this show since the first episode. But it was something I never thought would actually happen; just wishful thinking. So imagine my surprise when the promo for January showcases him as Alex's new love interest. I nearly had a heart attack! Now, I can't wait till January.

In addition, for those of you who are fans of Cassandra Clare's The Mortal Instruments - It's been recently confirmed that Lily Collins will be playing the role of Clary Fray. I still don't know what to make of that. I always imagined Emma Roberts and Alex Pettyfer as Clary and Jace. I'm just praying that Lily does a good job.

Also, who watches 90210? How creepy was it to see Canon lurking in Naomi's apartment. I pray to god that he doesn't attack her again.

Anyways,

**PLEASE REVIEW**

_I should totally do blogs/vlogs._


	32. The Day The Earth Stood Still

**Author Note: **First off, I'd like to wish you a Happy New Year!

Secondly, one of my New Year's resolutions has been to commit more of my time to a book series that I am currently working on. Hence, the delayed updates. Sorry.

As always,

* * * Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! * * *

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned Gossip Girl. But I don't.

…

Jenny frowned as she stared at her coffee. She hadn't managed to get much sleep the night before. Dan's words continued to gnaw at her.

She pushed the cup of coffee away, and picked up her tote bag. She sparred herself a quick look in the mirror, and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ears. Worrying herself sick certainly wasn't going to help anyone, she thought with a sigh.

She grabbed her coat and shrugged it on. If she wanted answers, she was going to have to get them herself.

She opened the front door of her room, and peered into the hallway. She almost laughed at her stupidity. What was she expecting? To be ambushed the moment she opened her door?

She stepped out into the hallway, closed the door behind her, and headed to the elevators. It would only be a matter of time before she had to face everyone. She couldn't hide from everyone forever.

The elevators opened and Jenny stepped inside. So why not face everyone now? The doors closed and she descended into the abyss.

…

You're being ridiculous! Nate chided himself mentally.

He shot a disgruntled look at his limo.

It was still idling.

Taunting him.

Maybe he _should_ just get in? What were the chances that Jenny would leave her room, let alone come outside? And if she came outside – and saw him, would she think he was stalking her?

Nate frowned and his mind filled with horrifying thoughts. Or maybe, he panicked; Gossip Girl would beat her to the punch and label him a creeper before she even had the chance. Then, she'd see the blast and be too afraid to leave her apartment. And then, she'd skip the wedding and leave. All because he just had to be a creeper. All because he was-

"Nate?"

Nate froze. His inner ramblings stopped, and turned slowly towards the one person who he had been hoping to see since-… well since she left.

…

Jenny stepped out of her sanctuary, warily. She took a deep breath, and exhaled. "Just breathe," she cautioned herself out loud.

She took in another calming breath, but her gaze caught hold of a familiar form. Her breath caught in her throat, and she nearly fainted. Her mind began to reel. What were the chances! She fretted, internally.

She cowered where she stood.

Did he see me?

She analyzed him.

No, he's too busy staring at his limo.

She shot a quick look over her shoulder. I could run back inside…

But for reasons alien to her, she didn't. Instead her she found herself heading towards him; her feet taking on a mind of its own, despite the desperate screams from her brain commanding them to turn right around, and head back to the refuge of her hotel room.

She paused a mere feet away from him, and stared at him blankly.

He didn't seem to notice her.

Her mouth opened, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Nate?"

He tensed.

Jenny trembled.

And for a moment – the world stood still.

…

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW**

I know it's short, but I'll try and post the next chapter as soon as I can.


	33. Don't Let Me Fall

**Author Note: ** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It's much appreciated! I hope this chapter makes sense. It might just be me, but I was on a sugar high when I wrote the ending of the chapter.

Anyways,

**Disclaimer:** I wish I owned this show, but sadly I do not. If I did you would be watching this fanfic unfold on your tellies instead of reading it here.

…

Crap! Jenny screamed at herself internally. Now why did you have to go and do that?

But she knew the answer to that. Try as she may – it always played out this way, even after all of this time – she was but a moth to his flame; he was like a drug she couldn't quit. She almost hated him for it. Why he had such a profound effect on her so, boggled her mind.

Jenny plastered the brightest smile she could muster on to her face, despite her anxiety - in hopes to ease the obvious tension that had fallen over them.

…

Nate blinked, his mouth hung open in utter shock. He had been so insistent on coming to see her, and now here he was standing in front of her, and his mind had betrayed him and coward into a blank slate.

Jenny smiled suddenly, and that was his undoing. Whatever composure he had left melted at the sheer sight of her brilliance.

…

Jenny could feel her smile slowly fading, and her eyes widened with concern. Why wasn't he saying anything?

…

Nate watched with horror as Jenny looked at him as if he were speaking Latin. Say something! Nate chided himself. Say anything!

"I didn't marry Vanessa!" he blurted, unable to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth.

…

Jenny blinked. Well she sure as hell hadn't expected that.

…

You idiot! Nate fretted. He stuffed his hands into his pocket, redirected his gaze to the sidewalk, and delved right in to another one of his internal rants: Anything would have been better than that! Nate lectured, _Hello,_ would have been suffice! Why would she even _care _if you were married? It's not like you _matter_ to her. She left without so much as a _goodbye_, because _you_ mean _nothing_ to her.

…

A flash of light caught Jenny's eye. She turned, but saw no one in particular worth noting. But the familiar sensation of being watched enveloped her, and she automatically realized that Gossip Girl's followers were doing her biding.

In all of her haste to get answers from Dan, she had bolted from the apartment without calling for her driver.

It wasn't long before the passerby's on the busy street showed their true colors, and just full out stared.

She could feel their probing eyes relentlessly watching; examining her for any indications as to why she left, or afflictions to report to Gossip Girl.

They couldn't possibly know, Jenny calmed herself. Blair and Chuck were diligent. No one knows!

…

Nate finally stole a glance at Jenny. Being a coward had gotten him nowhere in the past, and he sure as hell was not going to let history repeat itself.

But as he looked at Jenny all he saw was fear.

The familiar feeling of eyes on him, made him realize why she was so spooked.

…

"They're like sharks sniffing blood," Nate stated wryly.

Jenny turned and looked at him, surprised. "Yeah," she agreed. "I definitely didn't miss that about the UES."

She pulled her coat closer around her. Anyone would have thought that she was cold, but Nate knew better. He had spent too much time around her to know that the action was subconscious. One she would resort to when she was nervous and uncomfortable.

"Where you headed?" he asked.

Jenny began shaking her head, "No, it's not necessary."

"We've been standing here for about ten minutes," Nate noted. "I don't see your driver."

"I forgot to call him," Jenny bit her lip.

Nate hadn't realized that he had lingered.

She turned away quickly, a trace of a blush faint against her cheeks.

"I insist," Nate offered, while motioning to the idling vehicle.

"I need to talk to Dan," Jenny explained.

Nate tensed. "Have you spoken to him recently?"

Jenny took notice of his jilted behaviour, "Yes," she revealed. "I saw him yesterday."

Nate relaxed at that, "Oh. Okay."

She narrowed her eyes at him. What the hell was going on?

Nate extended a hand towards her, "then let's go."

"Thank you," Jenny stated quietly.

Nate nodded in return and helped her into the limo.

…

The ride to Brooklyn was quiet.

Too quiet.

Nate had gone eerily silent again. And though he said nothing, his face did. Nate had never had a poker face. She found herself lost in the many expressions and emotions that played across his lovely face; expressions and emotions which ranged from happy to heart wrenching to foreign. It was truly bizarre.

She found herself breathing out a sigh of relief as the vehicle came to a stop.

"Does Dan know you're coming?" Nate asked suddenly.

Jenny couldn't help herself from looking wide eyed every time he opened his mouth and spoke. It was odd. Nate was never a parrot, but he wasn't a mouse either. He seemed to retreat into himself at the oddest of times, only to snap out of his trances, and scare her to death.

"No, he doesn't," she replied airily, only to be met by a look of sheer panic etched across Nate's face.

"Why?" she asked unable to hide her curiosity, "what's wrong?"

Nate's face contorted into something undecipherable, "but he saw you yesterday, right?"

He didn't answer the question. He was dodging it.

"Yes. I already told you that," Jenny answered.

"So, you _know_?" Nate asked cryptically.

Jenny faltered, "_Know_ what?"

Nate went silent again, and began to fidget.

"Nate?" Jenny cautioned, "What aren't you telling me?"

"You should call him," Nate sidestepped, "let him know that you're here."

"No," Jenny yelled despite herself, causing Nate to flinch. "What's going on?"

He looked away.

"Tell me right now!" she insisted.

He still refused to look at her.

"Nate I swear!" she threatened, "if you don't tell me…"

He didn't waver.

She had known something was up. Dan's behaviour was as subtle as an earthquake. But Jenny knew Dan, and Dan was stubborn. Dan would never tell her what was what, until there _was_ or _were _no other alternatives.

Nate on the other hand, would be putty in her hands, and though she knew it was mean, she couldn't help herself. Whatever was going on, Jenny knew in her gut it was bad. And as much as it would kill her and him to reflect on it, she went for it.

"You of all people know how destructive it is to keep secrets," she threatened, her words filled with hidden innuendos.

Nate turned and donned her the expression as if she had just slapped him.

"It's not my place to tell," Nate reasoned; his voice the sound of heartbreak.

Jenny felt horrible.

…

Nate sighed and got out of the limo, much to Jenny's surprise.

Seconds later, he opened her door, and extended a hand towards her, "but you _do_ deserve to know."

She took his hand, and he helped her out.

He let go of her hand and watched as she made her way back to her old building.

Nate turned back towards his limo, and exhaled loudly; wishing he could save her from the pain she was about to witness.

"Nate."

He spun around only to find Jenny standing in front of him.

"Please, come with me," she sounded terrified. She extended her hand towards him.

He took her hand in his – his silent answer.

She was going to need someone to lean on after this. Nate couldn't help but frown. It was unfair for her to witness what she was about to see.

She would be at the end of her thread.

And this time, he promised himself, his grip tightened around her hand like a protective blanket, he would not leave her hanging.

Even if it killed him, he would not let her fall.

…

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW**

So, I watch GG on Much Music because I'm Canadian and I live in Toronto, and the most hilarious thing happened: Our VJ always does Twitter talk during commercials, and she noted how most viewers were calling Raina a ho (because she jumped from Chuck to Nate without batting an eyelash). Immediately after that, came Russell's speech to his daughter about how Raina is strong, tough, and "decent". LOL. Perfect timing, hunh?

Also, for those of you who don't watch Pretty Little Liars – START! This show is beyond awesome. There are three episodes left until the season finale, and then Season Two premieres in June for a summer run. So, if you're like me and you need something worth watching in the summer – this is the show for you. I'm also debating the idea of penning a SOBER (Spencer&Toby) fic, because they are my new obsession. Of course, I won't be able to do that until I finished this fic first.

So, until another chapter, goodbye for now.


	34. Curiosity Killed The Cat

**Author Note: **Has it really been seven months? I'm pretty sure people want to grab crowbars and wrenches and hurl them my way. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to this story, but in all honesty, it took a lot of channelled inner strength to bring me back. I was honestly considering cutting my ties with this story. Taylor Momsen's departure hit me hard. It killed the muse in me, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to resuscitate it.

But have I lost hope? Heck no…well not until this show airs its last eppie. I will forever hold onto hope that one day Jenny will return happy and well and Nate will come to his senses and realize that he had been looking for love in all of the wrong places.

In the meantime, NJ fans must resort to fanfiction. And I promise that I will try and do you justice.

In addition, I have to inform you that it was recently brought to my attention that PEDESTAL'S timeline was messed up. As a result, this story was under-construction for a brief period of time. I've tweaked a few things here and there, so things should be able to flow much more smoothly now.

**Special Note:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It was much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this show. If I did, Taylor Momsen and Connor Paolo would have been locked into an ironclad contract, and would have never been able to leave.

…

Jenny couldn't help but become a little annoyed with Nate during the elevator ride up to her former floor. Nate was notorious for having a horrible poker face, so imagine her surprise when she stole a few glances at him, only to be gravely disappointed. Whatever horrors awaited her upstairs remained a mystery – Nate's face was as blank as a faceless snowman; there was no emotion.

That fact alone left Jenny cowering with dread. Whatever was going on, it was _bad_. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach. She mentally chastised her haste. No wonder curiosity killed the cat, Jenny thought bitterly, because that's what she was, a stupid, oblivious cat.

…

As the elevator rose with each bated breath, Nate began to wish that he was anywhere but here. He stopped that thought short. Correction, he clarified mentally, he'd rather he _and Jenny_, be anywhere else but here.

He cursed his fate, as the elevator continued to ascend. Timing had always been a bitch; it was never on his side. Why, oh why, couldn't it ever be on his side?

He stole a glance at Jenny, and found her staring at the ground. She looked restless, like she wanted nothing more than to pace back and forth. She kept wringing her hands nervously, an action Nate knew all too well.

He reached over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She finally looked up and met his gaze.

His breath caught in his throat, those blue eyes of hers always left him speechless.

She arched an eyebrow and stared at him questioningly. Nate retracted his hand and turned his gaze upwards to the changing backlit floor numbers that hung above the elevator doors.

…

Jenny felt like she was falling. She wanted nothing more than to bolt; to sprint; to run as fast and far as her feet would take her. She didn't want to be here anymore. The feeling of impending doom was hard to shake, and it made her dizzy. Her feet felt weak, and she wanted nothing more than to crumble into nothingness.

Then something miraculous happened. A warmth; a support; something pulled her up and out of her haze. She wasn't sure what it was until she broke free of her stupor and stared skyward. Nate looked down at her; the touch of Nate's hand on her shoulder had done wonders for her. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. The fact that he was here, was comfort enough. Whatever it was, that awaited her upstairs, didn't seem so monstrous anymore because, for the first time, in a long time, she didn't feel alone.

…

The elevator stopped, and so did Nate's heart. Dan was going to suffer a stroke when he saw Jenny. Nate hated everything about the situation.

Dan already had _enough_ to deal with – but Jenny had a right to know, even though it would kill her.

Nate hadn't realized that he had idled. A beckoning voice caused him to look up in alarm.

"Nate?"

Nate tore his gaze away from the ceiling and towards Jenny. She was standing in the hallway, and staring at him with concern.

Nate shook his head, "sorry," he apologized. He took a step into the hallway, and gulped. The elevator doors closed behind him, and the thought of being trapped sprung to his mind.

His feet felt heavy, and he struggled to keep up with Jenny. When they finally made it to the door, Nate broke into a cold sweat.

…

Dan frowned. The knock at the door made him scrunch his face in distaste. He wasn't expecting any visitors, and most people knew better than to disturb him, _especially_ now.

He flung open his front door, agitatedly. His eyes widened in shock, and he stood unmoving for a moment, struck dumb by the sheer sight of his sister. It took him a brief moment to realize she wasn't alone.

"What are you doing here?" Dan whispered in shock.

Jenny grimaced, "Did you honestly think that I'd continue to hide under my rock after your little visit last night?"

Dan turned his wrath on Nate and narrowed his eyes, "what did you tell her?"

Nate's mouth fell open in stupefied shock, "What!"

Jenny waved a hand dismissively, "don't attack him. This is all on _you_."

Dan looked at her incredulously, "Me?"

"Yes you," Jenny explained pointedly. "Honestly Dan, your visit was nothing but 360 degrees of pure sketch."

Nate would have smirked, if the occasion didn't have heartbreak written all over it.

…

Dan didn't even mumble one of his smartass comebacks. He diverted his gaze, his shoulders slouched, and a sullen vacant look descended upon him. The man standing in front of her was not the brother she remembered. He looked so tired, and defeated.

"Aren't you going to invite me in," Jenny asked.

Dan turned to look at her, or so she thought. He was staring at Nate. Something unspoken passed between them, something painful. It almost hurt her to watch.

Dan took a step backwards, and motioned her into the room. The awkward sound of heavy footfall met her ears. She was surprised to realize that it was coming from Nate. His steps were almost robotic, like he was forcing himself to take another step, and then another.

She met Nate's gaze, but the expression on his face looked foreign, causing her to look away.

Dan, however, was a sight to behold – looking completely besides himself.

Jenny couldn't take it anymore, "What's wrong?"

Dan made a face; looking absolutely ill. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, mimicking a fish out of water.

"Dan…" Jenny pressed.

Dan took a deep breath, "follow me," he said quickly; his words tumbled out of his mouth so fast, almost as if he was afraid that if he didn't say them, he never would.

…

Dan began to head towards her old bedroom. He didn't even turn back to look to see if she were keeping up with him, and if truth be told, she couldn't even if she tried. He practically ran. An action she suspected he had supressed for quite some time. Is that how Dan felt? Like he wanted to run? Jenny knew that feeling all too well. She had been running for years, but what in the world could have happened to warrant this kind of behaviour from Dan? What could have possibly happened to have shaken her big brother to his very core?

Jenny felt her feet give way. Her mind was telling her to move, but her feet wouldn't obey. She was positive that whatever lay ahead of her was something she didn't want to see. She should have never pushed the matter. She wanted nothing more than to slink back into oblivion and disappear.

This was the very reason she had fled the Upper East Side. This place brought her nothing but pain. She felt restless; wanting nothing better than to turn on her heels and run away – _'crazy-suspicious-secret'_ be damned. She didn't want to know what horrors lay for her in her old room.

The much welcomed feeling of a hand slipping into hers brought her back to reality. Jenny turned and looked at Nate.

He gave her hand a comforting squeeze, "whatever happens," he said quietly, "I just want you to know that you're not alone."

Jenny wanted nothing more than to find comfort in his words, but instead they had the opposite effect. A feeling of dread crept up on her, leaving her breathless.

She could only mindlessly follow Nate, when he began to lead her towards whatever terror lay before her in the room she'd once called home.

…

***** A/N: PLEASE REVIEW * * ***


	35. Breathe In, Breathe Out

**Author Note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed. It was much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** What's mine is mine, and what's not is not.

…

Jenny wasn't sure what she hated most: The sight before her, or the fact that everyone had hid it from her.

The real kicker was that as horrible as it was, she found that she couldn't look away.

She could feel her hand leave Nate's, as she made her way towards the bed in her old room.

Dan stood at the foot of the bed, looking like he had just come from a funeral. Or at least, considering the situation, he was probably preparing himself for just that.

Jenny's short trek to the bed felt like a horrible out of body experience.

The woman on the bed lay still; motionless; asleep. Her small face looked tight with pain. She looked uncomfortable, and frail. Jenny wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around her and cry.

Dan was right. She should have been here. She couldn't blame her family for keeping this from her. She never gave them the chance to explain. They hadn't even known where she'd gone. She knew Dan had been searching for her.

Everyone had been searching for her.

But Jenny hadn't wanted to be found. And she'd made damn sure that she wouldn't and couldn't.

But there were two people, who knew exactly where'd she'd been. Why had they not contacted her? Why had Chuck and Blair kept this from her?

Allison stirred suddenly, and opened her eyes. It took her a moment to catch her bearings. Jenny figured that she probably thought that she was still dreaming.

"Jenny?"

Jenny fought back tears, "Hi mom."

Allison struggled to get up, causing Dan to bolt from the foot of the bed to her side. "Careful," he warned.

Allison smiled at him; her smile was tight and looked like it hurt. She patted the bed lightly, motioning Jenny to sit. Jenny obeyed.

"Look at you," her mother's voice was a whisper. "You're so beautiful."

That was her undoing. Jenny burst into tears.

"Oh sweetie," Allison consoled. "It's okay."

Jenny shook her head, and swallowed a sob, "I'm so sorry. I should have been here. I don't…I-I…"

Her mother took her in her arms, and rubbed her back soothingly. "Don't apologize. You couldn't have known."

"But I-"

"Ssh," Allison silenced. She pulled back from Jenny and took her daughter's face in her hands. "Look at me."

Jenny couldn't stop the tears that fell. She met Allison's gaze, and blinked away fat tears.

Allison wiped them away with her thumbs. "No more tears. I want to make the most of the time we have. Okay?"

Jenny nodded in response, numbly.

"Mom you need some rest," Dan spoke suddenly.

Allison smiled at him again, "he takes such care of me."

Dan helped her get back into a comfortable position, or at least what passed for it.

"We'll be in the hall," Dan informed. Allison managed a feeble nod, and closed her eyes, drifting back to sleep.

Dan nodded towards the hall. Jenny got up from the bed carefully, and made her way into the hallway. She let out a deep breath; one she hadn't realized that she'd been holding in.

…

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW**


	36. Useless

**Author Note: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed. It was much appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** What's mine is mine, and what's not is not.

…

Nate stared at the ceiling. The moment Jenny's hand had left his, he had left the room. It hadn't felt appropriate for him to be there. He felt like he was infringing upon a private moment; a _Humphrey_ moment.

"Why the hell is she not in a hospital?"

Nate flinched, and turned to find Jenny and Dan standing in the hallway.

…

"She _was_ in the hospital. She was practically _living_ there for the past _two_ years," Dan shotback.

"Well, why is she here?" Jenny demanded.

Dan ran a hand over his face, displaying his frustration, "Because she didn't want to die in a hospital!"

Jenny took a step back; shocked.

Dan's composure softened, "the doctors gave up on her."

Jenny shook her head in disbelief, an almost inaudible "no," left her lips.

Dan's shoulders slumped. "There isn't anything more they can do for her Jen. She only has a few days left – a week tops."

…

_**A Few Hours Later…**_

Jenny stirred lightly. She couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep. The last thing she remembered was Dan telling her that their mother was dying and that funeral preparations were already underway. Jenny almost had wanted to slap him.

Her pillow was damp. Jenny rubbed her eyes and found that her lashes were still wet; her cheeks felt rough – probably tear stained, and her throat hurt.

She got up slowly, and soon realized that she had fallen asleep on the couch. Jenny rubbed at her eyes again, only to find a cup obstructing her vision when she had finished. She yelped, and practically jumped out of her skin.

"Sorry."

Jenny looked up in shock. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. "You're still here?"

Nate frowned, "Did you want me to leave?" His hand was still outstretched.

She took the cup from him, and stared at the milky brown liquid inside. "No. I just didn't expect you to stick around, that's all. You shouldn't have had to deal with all of this."

Nate didn't answer. He only stared at her.

Jenny took a sip of the coffee he had given her, "is my mom awake?"

"She's sleeping," Nate revealed. "Dan took off a few minutes ago to meet with a … florist."

Jenny frowned at that.

An awkward beat of silence past between them, before Nate broke it. "Did you want to talk about…you know."

Jenny made a face, and then swallowed hard. "I just. I-I feel so _useless_."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows at her, "What? Why?"

"I wasn't here for her. I wasn't here to help," Jenny said slowly. "And now, I'm here, and I don't know what to do."

"You're in shock," Nate rationalized. "You just need some time to process everything."

"But that's the thing," Jenny reminded, "I can't afford it. My mother doesn't have _time_."

Nate went quiet at that. He knew how Jenny felt. At this very moment, he felt the same way she did. Useless. He didn't know what to say or do that could make this better for her; to make this better for everyone.

Jenny was on the brink of tears again, and all he could do was watch the walls as they crashed down around him.

He wanted nothing more than to save her. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted…

And that's when it came to him. This wasn't about him. This was about her. What did Jenny want?

"Jenny?"

Jenny blinked away tears, "yeah?"

"I have an idea," Nate said.

Jenny turned to look at him confused.

…

**Author Note: **Please Review


	37. Heaven Lies Here

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Disclaimer:** Nate's description about the island does not belong to me – it was said by Sonny Corinthos on the September 20, 2011 episode of General Hospital.

Also, Gossip Girl = not mine :(

…

_**The Next Day…**_

Dan wasn't sure why he had agreed to this. But here he was, nonetheless, aboard the Vanderbilt jet – headed God knows where, with his ailing mother.

He shot an anxious glance at his mother, only to find her sound asleep next to a napping Jenny. For once, Allison's face looked relaxed. Seeing Jenny had done wonders for her; it seemed to have relieved some tension from her body.

The sound of footsteps met Dan's ears and he turned to find Nate emerging from the cockpit.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" Dan asked pointedly.

Nate took a seat across from him. His gaze lingered on Jenny's slumbering form before he finally spoke. "Punta Ballena."

Dan narrowed his eyes at him, "Why?"

Nate turned to look out the window, "you'll see."

…

_**A Few Hours Later – Vanderbilt Vacation House – Private Island: Off the Coast of Punta Ballena…**_

Nate quickly changed into a crisp, fresh, light blue shirt and exited his room. He found Dan seated in the sitting area with an awake and excited Allison. She still looked like every move made her body ache, but the anticipation in her eyes could not have been more evident, despite the amount of pain she must have been in.

"Is Jenny awake yet?" Nate asked.

Dan shook his head.

Nate glanced at his watch, "I'll go wake her. We need to get a move on it."

Dan nodded, and helped Allison slowly onto her feet; Nate left and headed to Jenny's room. The door was closed. He knocked twice, only to receive no answer. Nate opened the door cautiously and peered into the room.

He found Jenny still asleep, on the bed, in the center of the room. Nate couldn't help but smile as he approached. She looked like an angel when she slept; she looked so peaceful. It pained him to wake her.

Suddenly Jenny grimaced and groaned; her body tossed from side to side while she mumbled softly about forthcoming terrors.

Nate tensed, but then scooped her into his arms, held her, and then rocked her gently; whispering words of comfort. "Jenny wake up," he soothed, "it's just a nightmare."

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him confused. "Nate?"

He pulled away, "Yeah. Are you okay?"

Jenny nodded, "Yeah…I just-… Sorry."

Nate furrowed his eyebrows, "only you would apologize for having a nightmare."

Jenny smiled slightly at that.

Nate motioned her to get up, "it's time to leave."

"Already," Jenny asked; she got up off the bed, "where are we going anyways?"

"You'll s-"

"You promised you'd tell me on the plane. You lied," she interrupted.

"You fell asleep," he noted.

Jenny stared at him expectantly. "Do you have any idea how hard it was too convince Dan to come out all the way up here? And for what?"

"You agreed to this," he reminded.

"Yes," Jenny admitted, "but only because you made it sound like this place was God's gift to man and that my mother would love it."

"She will love it," Nate assured.

Jenny folded her hands in front of her chest, "Nate…"

"Oh alright," he conceded. "It's a little strip of property right off the coast of the island. All we have to do is take a little boat there."

Jenny looked at him unimpressed, "And?"

"And," Nate continued, "It's beautiful. You stand on one side and watch the sun set while the moon rises on the other side."

Jenny blinked in disbelief.

"It's my favourite spot," he revealed, "the sky is almost dark, and the water's very calm. On one side you feel like peace. The other side you feel like hope. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, and I got to tell you – it's when I first realized that there's got to be a God, because something's got to make the world go around, you know? Something's got to balance everything out. No matter how down you feel or where you are in your life – when you're there, you always feel like you're part of something bigger."

Jenny didn't know what to say. She stared at him in silence; struck dumbfounded in awe.

"So," Nate extended a hand towards her, "are you ready?"

The simple gesture made her take it; she accepted his hand wordlessly – mind reeling.

The warmth of his fingers wrapping around her own, made her feel as if she had nothing to fear.

…

**A/N: Please Review**


	38. In Your Arms, The Truth Forgotten

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Sidenote: **Is anyone watching American Horror Story? That show and violate (yeah, that's right – I said violate, it's not a typo. The glee creators are evil geniuses; their shipping names always rock so hard. FYI: violate = Violet+Tate, and they are the most messed couple in the universe. I freakin LOVE them) is wrecking my life. This show is completely ruining my life; I'm like a crack addict waiting every week for a new episode. Wednesday's cannot come fast enough.

*****A Word Of Caution: **I'm renaming this story to DENIAL. *******

**Disclaimer:** Gossip Girl = not mine

…

**Later That Night…**

"Dad says he wants to talk to you when we get back," Dan informed.

Jenny tore her attention away from her mother's slumbering form and towards the bedroom door, where Dan stood.

She scrunched her face in worry, "I bet that's going to be _pleasant_."

"He was _worried_ about you," Dan explained. "And I know for a fact that he's not even going to _ask_ why you left."

Jenny furrowed her eyebrows at that.

"Truthfully," Dan mused out loud, "I think he's _afraid_ of the answer."

"I needed to get away Dan," Jenny exasperated; feeling the partial need to explain, "I felt like I was suffocating."

Dan nodded, "I remember. I was there."

She eyed him warily.

"I'm not going to push," he placated. "Trust me – I'm curious, but I'm your big brother. I _know_ you. You wouldn't have left the way that you did if something wasn't up. And that scares me; because despite all of the crap that happened _before_,none of_ that_ ever caused you to flee, so that makes me wonder…why? _ Why_ did you just up and leave and run away without looking back."

Jenny opened her mouth to respond, but Dan interrupted her.

"It's rhetorical," he silenced. "I don't _want_ to know what it is that made you leave, that is unless _you_ want to tell me… I just want you to know that I'm here for you. But if it hurts you to talk about it, and something tells me in my gut that it does – well then it's your secret to keep."

Jenny took deep breath. She looked at him for a beat, "thank you."

"For what?" Dan asked.

"For being you," Jenny smiled lightly.

Dan laughed at that, "thanks…I think."

…

**A Few Hours Later…**

"Lost?"

Jenny jumped despite herself, and spun around to find Nate staring at her peculiarly. She laughed and nodded, "Yeah. I got turned around. This place is so big."

"Why are you out here," Nate asked, as he approached her on the deck of the large Vanderbilt property. "And at this time of night? Couldn't sleep?"

"I forgot my sweater out here earlier," Jenny explained. "And yes. That too. I couldn't sleep."

Nate nodded, "well you did sleep through the _entire_ trip here." Smiling mischievously he added, "Snoring away, I might add, like a chainsaw."

Jenny gasped, "You take that back. I don't snore!"

"I knew I'd need proof," he pulled out his cellphone. A few seconds later, Jenny heard the loud rumblings he had recorded on to his phone.

Her hands flew to her face in embarrassment.

Nate laughed and touched his ear, "now what would you call that?"

"I can't believe you _recorded_ that," she shrieked.

"Purely Dan's idea," Nate copped, "but I'm debating to use it as my ringtone."

"Delete it," Jenny begged.

Nate laughed, "No way. I'm keeping it."

Jenny took a step towards him with outstretched hands. "Nate. Give me the phone."

"Nope."

Jenny's eyes widened, "Nate!"

The sudden sound of rhythmic rolling thunder echoed in the distance.

Nate took a step back and looked up at the sky, "I think it's going to rain. We should get inside."

Jenny didn't even blink, "give me the phone, Nate."

In an action that surprised her, Nate spun around and bolted.

It took her a minute to catch her bearings, before a grin broke out on her face. She took off after him, "you're such a child," she screamed.

Nate laughed loudly in response, "I'm not deleting it." He spun around, and teased her with a 'bring it' hand gesture, before breaking into full blown sprint.

"This isn't funny Nate," Jenny yelled fiercely, hot on his trail.

He made a beeline suddenly, "Strange," he breathed. Jenny struggled to skid to a stop; the sudden change in course almost caused her to trip over her own two feet. She turned towards him, and he smiled brightly, "I find it hilarious," he mocked.

She lunged towards him, and he took off again, causing her to chase after him.

"Nate! Come back here," she fretted.

A blinding flash of light winked across the dark night sky. Thunder rolled again in an ear-splitting reverberating cry.

She froze and covered her ears with her hands.

Fat raindrops fell hard from the sky, blurring her vision. It was impossible to chase anyone in this weather. "Nate?"

She couldn't even see further than a few feet in front of her.

"Nate?"

She didn't even know where she was anymore; not that she had earlier. The place was a maze.

"Nate?"

He didn't answer.

She wrapped her arms around herself. It wasn't like he could even hear her – the sound of raindrops against the damp ground was deafening. She could hear the sound of thunder echoing through the trees now. The sound was one of chaos and anguish.

It soured her mood.

Fat drops of rain clung to her eyelashes, mimicking tears. She blinked them away, and walked in silence.

It was just her and nature's wrath now.

The sound of thunder seemed to bring her back to reality.

Somehow, within the last few hours she had forgotten about the train wreck that was currently her life.

The knowledge of it all hit her hard. She had used this trip as a way of escaping again. All she ever seemed to do lately was find new ways to escape. She never seemed to deal with things anymore.

She felt tired.

Hands grabbed her from behind suddenly, and spun her around. She looked up, blinking fast, and found Nate staring down at her.

His smile was goofy, "told you it was going to rain."

Jenny didn't answer and turned away.

Nate frowned at that, "Jenny? What's wrong?"

She shook her head wordlessly.

He sidestepped her, took her face in his hands, cupped her chin and forced her to stare at him, "Are you okay?"

She tingled despite herself at his touch, and took a step back. "It's nothing," she dismissed.

Nate pulled out his phone, "look I'm sorry," he apologized. He fiddled with it, and then held it towards her, "look. There. I deleted it."

She began to walk away from him, "we should get back."

"Jenny, wait."

"We'll catch pneumonia," she insisted.

"Jenny," Nate grabbed her roughly this time, and pulled her towards him. She looked up at him, and what she saw in his eyes, caused her breath to catch in her throat.

They stood in an awkward silence for several moments, just staring at each other, before Nate began to lower his head towards her slowly; agonizingly slow.

Jenny remained frozen to her spot. Her brain automatically froze. It wasn't until she realized that he was inching closer towards her that she finally snapped out of her trance. But, by then, even if she had wanted to, there was no time to protest. Nate's lips danced lightly over hers.

"Jenny!"

Jenny went rigid and pushed Nate away.

He stared back at her lost in a daze.

"What are you two doing out here," Dan exclaimed, running at them with umbrella's in tow.

…

Nate numbly took an umbrella from him. There was no point for one now. He and Jenny were soaked to the bone. His gaze drifted towards Jenny, but she was staring dead ahead into the unforeseeable distance.

They fell into step with Dan, and headed back to the Vanderbilt house.

"You guys look like drowned rats," Dan mused out loud.

Neither Jenny nor Nate uttered a word in response.

…

**A/N: Please Review**

*****A Word Of Caution: **I'm renaming this story to DENIAL *******


	39. A Shot In The Dark

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Disclaimer:** Gossip Girl = not mine

…

**The Next Day…**

Jenny sneezed loudly, sat up in bed, sneezed again, and then sniffled.

She was positive that she was running a fever.

She felt like crap - running around in the rain tended to do that to a person.

Dan poked his head into her room, "need anything?"

Jenny shook her head.

Dan nodded and left the room.

Jenny collapsed back into bed.

It had been hours since they had returned to Brooklyn. And Jenny had been avoiding Nate like the plague. She could tell that her behaviour upset him – heck, her behaviour even upset her, but she had to stay away. Nothing good ever came from them hanging out together, and she was firm on making sure that she would not let herself be sucked in again.

A knock sounded at her door.

Jenny rolled her eyes. Dan had subjected her to isolation. He didn't want her anywhere near their mother right now. She didn't blame him. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to catch a flu caused by her.

"I don't need anything Dan!" she hollered; her voice came out hoarse.

Regardless, the door opened. Dan meant well, but he was riding her last nerve. She hated being babied.

She rolled eyes and rolled over to face the door, "Dan I tol-"

Nate arched an eyebrow, "Hi."

Jenny paled and sat up quickly, "Nate? What are you doing here?"

"Dan told me you were sick," he replied. He held something in his hand – a bowl, "I brought soup." He placed the bowl on her nightstand, and sat next to her on her bed. "Any change? Do you feel better?"

Jenny simply stared at him for a brief beat, "you should go," she informed quietly, "you'll get sick."

Nate shrugged, "So?"

"Nate-"

"I'm staying," Nate dismissed firmly.

Jenny sighed and pulled her covers up to her neck and closed her eyes. Why did he always make things difficult for her? And the kicker was, that he didn't even _do_ anything. It didn't matter how hard she fought or how hard she tried to escape, she could never escape his thrall. And it wasn't even his fault. He didn't even know it. He never led her on, and yet she constantly found herself slowly being pulled into his direction.

Nate reached forward suddenly, and placed a hand on her forehead, "Oh my god!"

Jenny's eyes flew open at the unexpected tingle she felt from his touch.

"You're burning up!" Nate's eyes were filled with concern. He got up from the bed, "Dan!"

"Nate-"

"Dan!"

"Nate I'm fine," Jenny reasoned.

Dan practically sprinted into the room, "What? What's wrong?"

"She's burning up," Nate informed; his tone was so grave, that one would think that he was almost accusing Dan.

Dan frowned and advanced on Jenny.

"I'm fine," Jenny reasoned.

Dan's hand was pressed against her forehead. "You _are_ warm." He looked at his watch, "did you take anything? I think there's medicine in the cabinet over the sink."

Nate left the room.

Jenny shook her head and watched him in horror as he did so.

Dan couldn't even hide his smirk if he tried, "he cares, you know. About you."

Jenny felt herself go numb.

"Dan?" this time it was Allison.

Jenny and Dan exchanged panicked looks.

"I'm on it," Dan placated. "I'll let you know if something's wrong."

Jenny felt herself grow nauseous – the lethal result of the flu, worry, panic and anxiety.

"I don't which one is the best?" Nate returned with a variety of meds and a compressor. He pasued and looked around the room, "where's Dan?"

Jenny ran a hand threw her hair, "my mom called for him."

The worry in her voice must have shown on her face, for Nate was instantly at her side. He took her hand in his and gave it light squeeze. The action was her undoing. She could feel herself falling again, she didn't want to fall. She couldn't go through that kind of pain again.

The way he was looking at her…how she wished that he would stop.

"Nate," she began carefully.

Nate looked her over as if she were something precious, "what?"

"There's something I need to tell you," Jenny treaded, "something that you need to know."

Because he did.

He _needed_ to know.

If they ever had a shot, this time around, he _had_ to know.

"The night that we slept together…" her voice shook as she spoke.

Nate blinked in confusion and surprise.

"I-I…I got. I was…"

"What?" Nate asked; his voice was a soft hush.

"Pregnant," she blurted.

Nate tensed next to her. She could see the light leave his eyes.

When he finally spoke, his tone was hard to place, "was…"

Jenny swallowed hard, "…I miscarried."

Nate went completely motionless at that.

She watched him nervously, unsure of what to say or do next.

She didn't have to do anything.

In a movement that surprised her and broke her heart, he got up off the bed in a daze, and left the room – not even bothering to look back.

…

***** Please Review *****


	40. Where Are You?

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Disclaimer:** Gossip Girl = not mine

…

**Two Days Later…**

She had prepared herself for this.

She had expected him to freak out.

But she hadn't foreseen _this_.

It was like Nate had fallen off the face of planet.

No one had seen him since she had dropped her bomb.

Jenny sighed and picked up her cellphone. It wasn't like she was expecting him to call her, but the look on his face had scared her…

She logged on to Gossip Girl, but even Gossip Girl herself couldn't seem to locate him.

"Where are you Nate?" Jenny asked out loud to no one in particular.

"Jenny!" Dan's voice was filled with panic.

Jenny froze.

Dan rushed into her room.

He was crying.

_Oh no! _Jenny shook her head. Dan didn't even have to tell her, she could feel it in her bones.

"Its mom," Dan sobbed, "she's gone."

…

***** Please Review *****


	41. You Are My Strength

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Disclaimer:** Gossip Girl = not mine

…

**The Next Day: Allison's Funeral…**

"Humphrey," Chuck consoled solemnly, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Dan nodded, "thanks Chuck."

"If you or Jenny needs _anything_…" Chuck trialed off leaving his offer hanging in the air, hoping Dan would snatch it.

Dan nodded again, "I know. Thanks."

Blair looked beside herself. "We should postpone the wedding," she noted – which meant something coming from Blair, considering the blood, sweat, and tears she had put into planning her picture perfect nuptials to Chuck.

Surprisingly, Chuck seemed for it, "Apt," he agreed simply.

Blair nodded, conveying that it was decided.

"Apt?" Dan wasn't having any of it. "No. Not apt!"

"But Humphrey-" Chuck reasoned.

"Don't Humphrey me," Dan shot back. "The two of you are getting married tomorrow!" He found it ridiculous that he even had to _order_ them to do so. The three of them really had come a long way.

"Dan…" Blair's voice was soft and filled with worry.

"We all need something to look forward to," Dan explained.

Chuck and Blair exchanged a look and then smiled lightly.

Dan looked at his watch, "I've got to find Jen. They should be starting the service soon. I'll see you guys inside."

…

"In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord, we commend to Almighty God our daughter Allison Humphrey, and we commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

Jenny watched as they lowered her mother's body into the ground.

Dan clutched her right hand tightly. Her father stood next to Dan and was griping his son's shoulders as though he feared Dan would fall.

"The Lord bless her and keep her; The Lord make His face shine upon her, and be gracious to her; The Lord lift up His countenance upon her, and give her peace."

Jenny felt faint. The pastor's words flew over her head. She couldn't even process what was being said. She felt like she was drowning.

Trashing.

But it didn't matter how hard she fought, she kepting slipping under the water.

A hand – a lifeline – slipped into hers suddenly. It felt like she had been pulled out of the treacherous waters and pulled to safety.

Jenny blinked through the haze, and turned to find Nate. He didn't look at her, but was staring straight ahead, at Allison's coffin.

She let her hand relax into his.

"Amen."

…

***** Please Review *****


	42. Right Here Where We Belong

**Author Note:** As always, thank you to those of you who reviewed and/or favorited my story.

**Disclaimer:** Blair and Chuck's vows do not belong to me - they are taken from Donna and David's wedding in the Beverly Hills: 90210 series finale.

Gossip Girl = not mine

…

**The Next Day: Chuck and Blair's Wedding…**

Chuck smiled happily, took Blair's hands in his and looked at her adoringly, "When was it that we fell in love? Because the truth is, I can't picture a time when I wasn't in love with you. I always knew you were the one that could look into my eyes and see my soul. I don't question your commitment to us. And I know that there isn't anything that we can't work through. And I accept you, as my partner and as my best friend above all others. It's a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you've given me. And in honour of that miracle, I pledge before our family and friends, to love and cherish you forever."

Blair smiled in awe at his declaration; she took a deep breath, "Chuck. I look at you and I see my best friend. Your energy and your passion, inspire me in ways I never thought possible. Your inner beauty is so strong, that I no longer fear being myself. I no longer fear at all. I never thought that I could find someone to love that would love me back unconditionally. And then I realized that although we were often apart, you were always with me, and you were my soul mate. You give me purpose, when I feel I have none. Without you, my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete. I thank God every day that you were brought into my life. And I thank you for loving me."

"Chuck," the priest continued, "do you promise to love and cherish Blair in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Chuck stated happily. Blair smiled back equally ecstatic.

"Blair, do you promise to love and cherish Chuck in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Blair grinned happily at Chuck, "I do."

"If anyone here can give good cause as to why these two should not be married let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

Blair let go of Chuck's hand and gave everyone the death glare.

Everyone laughed happily, as no objections were made.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Chuck and Blair stared at the priest expectantly.

The priest laughed, "You may now kiss your bride."

Chuck pulled Blair into a heated kiss, as cheers and applause enveloped the two lovers.

…

Dan hugged Jenny, "are you sure you have to go."

"I have to get back to work," Jenny insisted, "or they'd lost without me."

Rufus put a hand on her shoulder, "you'll call, right?"

Jenny blinked back tears at that. She really had been horrible to them. She should have never shut her family out the way that she had. She threw her arms around her father, "every day. I promise."

"I hope that you're not going to throw yourself into your work," Dan lectured. "We should all mourn mom together."

"I'll be back," Jenny promised, "you won't even realize that I'm gone."

"I doubt that," Rufus stated quietly.

Jenny shot him a look, "don't make me feel guiltier."

"Then don't leave," Dan explained.

…

"Nathaniel," Chuck greeted, but it sounded more like a warning.

"The wedding was beautiful," Nate noted.

Chuck shot him a hard look, "what are you doing?"

"I'm going to get myself a drink," Nate replied, oblivious.

Chuck sighed in frustration and then smacked Nate behind the back of his head.

"Awh!" Nate turned to look at him, "what the hell man!"

"Jenny is _leaving_," Chuck reminded. "What happened to winning her back?"

Nate frowned, "...I keep hurting her."

Chuck grimaced. Nate's voice sounded so selfloathing and broken that it made him wince.

"I don't mean to," Nate continued, " I don't want to… Maybe it would be better if we just went our separate ways."

Chuck nodded and stared at Nate for a good long beat. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he smarted.

Nate made a face at him.

"If Blair and I thought that way, we would have never made it to the alter," Chuck enlightened, " If you want to rob yourself of the happiness that you deserve, then be my guest – but again, you'll be hurting Jenny."

Nate scowled.

"Just end this cycle of hurt Nate," Chuck advised, "you and Jenny will never be happy, because deep down inside you both know that the best time you've ever had, is when you are with each other."

…

Oh god! This was so clichéd.

But he didn't care.

He had to make things right.

He had been so stupid.

Nate sprinted through the airport and headed for the terminal heading to London.

His heart beat wildly. He scanned the area and ignored the feeling of eyes on him, and the cell phones pointed at him.

This could end badly, Nate realized. Jenny could shun him. He couldn't blame her if she did. She had laid her heart on the line and he had gone right ahead and stomped all over it again. Why was he always so clueless when it came to her.

Nate swerved suddenly, almost stumbling over the fourteen year old girl who made it no secret that she was recording his every move. If Jenny told him where to shove it, then his humiliation would be exposed for the world to see.

A flash of blonde hair stopped him dead in his tracks.

He didn't even have to see her face, he knew who it was.

He took off after her, "Jenny! Jenny! Jenny wait!"

Jenny spun around, and it was almost as if everything in the airport had come to a standstill. "Nate? Nate what are you doing here. "

Everyone in the airport was full on gawking now.

But Nate didn't care.

"Don't go," he begged.

Jenny blinked, unsure that she had heard him right, "what?"

"Don't go," he repeated.

"Don't go?" Jenny asked incredulously, and although she had heard the words, her brain just didn't seem to comprehend it. "Nate, I-I- I don't understand."

"I don't want you to leave," Nate pleaded, "I don't want you to ever leave."

Jenny averted her gaze from his.

He looked at her breathlessly, "you don't believe me, do you?"

Jenny shook her head and refused to look him in the eyes, "I want to."

Nate took a deep breath, "I love you."

Jenny snapped her head up and met his gaze again in shock.

"Believe me. Don't believe me," Nate continued, "I don't care, but I've said it." He smiled a brilliant smile, "I _said_ it," he stated proudly, "I _finally_ said it."

Jenny felt her heat erupt painfully.

"No one has ever made me feel the way that you do," Nate explained, he took her hand in his and stared so deep into her eyes, she could have sworn he saw her soul, "and that scared me. You scare me. The way you make me feel scares me. I think about you all the time. Even you're right here with me." Nate touched his heart.

Jenny struggled to keep herself together.

"I can't escape it, I've tried. Trust me. I've tried," Nate revealed. "But it's too late you're already a part of me."

He took her hand in his again, "I won't let you go. Not this time. You know me. Better than I know myself. "

Jenny blinked away fat tears.

"Jenny," Nate touched her face, his voice was a murmur now, "you complete me."

If he hadn't been holding her hands, she was positive that she might have lost her balance and hit the floor.

"And if you leave…" the pain in his voice was unmistakable, "my life will be empty. I'll never be happy. I've never been happy. I've never known true happiness until I met you."

Jenny took a calming breath.

"I love you Jenny," Nate declared; he held his breath. Her reply would either heal him or kill him.

Jenny smiled and blinked away tears of joy, she through her arms around him happily, "I love you too Nate."

Nate grinned and wrapped his arms around her – vowing to never let her go as he did so.

For the first time, in a long time, they were finally back where they both belonged and that was with each other.

***** THE END *****


End file.
